Opposites Attract
by metallicgirl42
Summary: It's the sequel to 'True Love...Or Is It! This story is about what happens after Snape meets his girlfriend, Celeste Grimmauld, and also more of Meg Smith and Sirius Black! You don't need to read 'True Love...Or Is It' to read this story, but it'd help.
1. Charlene's Words

OPPOSITES ATTRACT

Sequel to "True Love…Or Is It?" by BlaBlaBla234

_If you haven't read my other fanfic, True Love…Or Is It? then I have to do a bit of explaining before you can read this story and know what's going on. To make a long story short (35 pages, exactly), Snape meets this woman named Celeste Grimmauld. They go out for some butterbeer, and find out they're the same age, but the reason Snape never knew Celeste before was because she went to Beauxbatons, and, right after she finished her schooling, she moved to Britain and took a job at Honeydukes. Snape told her he was a teacher at the school of Hogwarts, and asked if he could give her a tour around. At the end, she kissed him on the cheek, and said she had a wonderful time. Well, what are you waiting for? If you really want to know what's going to happen next in Snape's love life, read on…_

**Chapter 1: **

Charlene's Words 

Celeste Grimmauld sat in her room, rented in the apartments above Honeydukes. She had met someone very wonderful last week, Severus Snape, and she had ended up going to Hogwarts with him, getting a tour, and kissing him on the cheek. She still blushed to remember that part, and held a little slip of paper in her hand. It was the paper Snape had given her, his address. They had gone out two more times after that, getting closer (emotionally, anyway) to each other every minute, but they never had kissed, not on the lips, which Celeste thought was her fault. Every time Celeste even thought she would kiss Snape, she lost her nerve; she was too shy. She hugged his address to her chest, still trying to think how it would be with his arms around her, Snape tenderly kissing her lips…

_No_, said a voice inside her head. _A grown-up woman should NEVER fall so easily_.

"I'm not going to get my heart broken," Celeste said. She knew this voice. It was one that she heard when she wasn't sure about doing something, and she sometimes wondered how she, Celeste, had somehow managed to get such a nagging, scholarly conscience. At least, that's what she thought the voice was. All she knew was that it definitely wasn't connected to _her_ brain.

_I don't want you thinking about him like this_, said the voice.

"Stop intruding on my thoughts!" Celeste yelled. "Why can't you leave me alone? If you really think I'm so grown up, then why don't you just stop telling me what to do?"

_I don't think you're THAT grown up yet_.

"Who are you, anyway?" Celeste screamed at the voice. "I usually listen to you, and I don't even know who you…" She didn't even get to say "are." Someone was standing in her doorway. Celeste felt her cheeks turn red. Why was she _yelling_? She thought she heard the voice snigger.

"Celeste, why are you yelling?" It was her roommate, Charlene.

"Oh, nothing, Charlene." Celeste tried to laugh it off. "I was rehearsing for this dumb play I'm doing with…with Severus." She said the first name that came into her head, which, of course, was Snape's first name, her boyfriend's name. She had already told Charlene about him before; since the two of them were almost like sisters, they could actually tell each other almost anything.

"Oh? Can I be a part in it?" said Charlene. She was chewing gum, once again. Charlene, actually, was very different than Celeste, who had long, straight, brownish hair that she always put in a ponytail, and she was rather shy, quiet, and she almost always wore a long white dress. Charlene, however, had frizzy, dirty-blonde hair, usually just thrown casually about her shoulders. Celeste suspected she didn't actually spend that much time on her hair in the mornings. She wore bright, happy colors, like yellow, and she was able to talk freely with anybody who came to Honeydukes, where she worked. And that was mainly why Charlene and Celeste were roommates; they both worked for Honeydukes.

"I don't know, Charlene," said Celeste. "It's…it's a two-part drama."

"Oh." Charlene grinned. "In that case, I won't interfere…What's that you're holding? Is it a blank piece of parchment, perhaps? The script for your play?" She looked and grinned even wider. Celeste knew that her roommate used to have braces. "Oh, Celeste, you got his address!"

"I know I did," said Celeste, feeling her face get even redder.

"Well, that's _good_!" said Charlene. "Know what, Celeste? That means he doesn't have to tell you where to go when you want to go to his house. Did you memorize it yet?"

"Did I…what?" said Celeste, even though she had heard Charlene perfectly.

"Did you memorize his address yet?" said Charlene. "You have to. What if he wants to take you home, but you want to go to his house? Then what are you going to do?"

"Oh…well, I guess I could recite it." Celeste laughed. "I've read it over so many times!"

"Can't believe he gave it to you, can you?" Charlene laughed. "I don't have a boyfriend right now, you know. I could if I wanted, since there are a lot of guys who would do nearly anything to go someplace with me as their date. Not to brag or anything, but it's the truth!"

"You're so lucky." Celeste smiled. "I only have my Severus."

"Well, if you've only got Severus, if he ever breaks up with you, you're toast," Charlene informed her roommate sagely. "Nobody to make him jealous or anything, y'know."

"Why would I want to make him jealous?" said Celeste.

"Celeste, Celeste, Celeste," said Charlene, shaking her head from side to side so that her hair was whipping slowly about her head. "So you'll get back together again."

"How does…Oh, I see," Celeste said sadly. "Look, I'm tired, Charlene. I want to sleep. Are you going to go to sleep, too, or…" She looked over at her roommate curiously.

"You guessed!" Charlene laughed. "Yes, I'm going down to the Three Broomsticks so I can go and get a butterbeer. And maybe I'll meet some new guys. You never know." She grinned and then left the room, leaving Celeste alone, sitting in the room, thinking about what it would be like to break up with Snape and then try to get him jealous so they could get back together again. Then Celeste felt something roll down her cheek. Only a few seconds later did she realize it had been a tear.


	2. Spinner's End

That next morning, Celeste awoke. The lights in her room were off. She sat up, rubbed her eyes, and looked around, seeing only the morning sunlight filtering through her windows. She looked down at the address of Snape, still clenched in her hand, like it had been all night long.

Celeste did not understand why she was crying. She had a boyfriend, one that she loved very much. He was the one she wanted, the one she would never be able to stand a breakup with. Maybe that was it, she thought. Maybe just the thought alone of Snape dumping her made her cry.

Charlene, across the room, was in her own bed, snoring loudly, one arm tossed over on her side, the other bunched up near her chin. Celeste now fought back laughter, not tears. What was the matter with her, anyway? One minute she was crying, laughing the next…Celeste shrugged and decided she should get out of here as soon as possible, so as not to wake Charlene up or anything.

Celeste got her towel and put it in the bathroom. She took her clothes off and got in the shower, only to realize it was freezing cold. Enough to qualify as Dementor cold, she thought in a short moment of exasperation with the only person who could have used up all the hot water, Charlene. She rolled her eyes and tried to wash her hair and face through the freezing water. Finally, she managed it. Then she stepped out of the shower, and put the towel around her. After she had gotten dressed, she went into the living room of their apartment, which had about three rooms: A bedroom, a bathroom, and a living room; it was all they could ask for. Celeste sat down on the couch in her and Charlene's living room.

She wondered what she would do today. Then the answer hit her, and she wondered why she hadn't thought of it before: She should just go somewhere with Snape today, shouldn't she?

_Duh_, said the voice in her head. _I don't think it's such a good idea, though_.

"Well, I don't care what you think!" Celeste informed the stupid voice, only in a quieter tone this time, so as not to wake Charlene in the next room. She imagined it recoiling in fear and surprise, if it even took a form. Celeste didn't care, she just hated it. It was probably a memory of her overprotective mother back in France, she thought, rolling her eyes again. Just then, Celeste remembered how she didn't have any means of contacting Snape without going right to his doorstep. Although her stomach did a back flip at the very thought of it, Celeste knew she would have to do this to talk to Snape again.

She went back into the bathroom, where she combed her hair and put it into the loose ponytail she always wore it in, except when she was in the shower or sleeping. When her hair wasn't up, the little ponytail holder was always around her wrist. She decided to get some breakfast and then just let her hair air-dry, which always gave her prettier results than when she fussed with a hairdryer. Celeste got out her favorite cereal, Froot Loops, even though it made her feel childish. They were fruity and delicious, after all, just like the commercials said. Celeste waited about an hour for her hair to dry, then re-combed it so it wouldn't look stringy. Then, when she was sure she was as pretty as she could be, she went back into the bedroom, found the slip of paper with Snape's address on it, and called a cab.

"Can we go to…umm…" She read off her boyfriend's address, word for word.

"Sure," said the cab driver. Celeste wasn't that nervous for the first time she would be in Snape's house when they were first driving out of Hogsmeade, where Celeste lived, but the farther away they got, the more Celeste wished she wasn't doing this at all. She realized how just how far away from Hogsmeade her boyfriend's house must be. Finally, they reached a stop by a river that was very dirty. It was the last house on a street called "Spinner's End." The taxi driver, who was a Muggle, shrugged and let off Celeste, who was getting increasingly more nervous. Was this the right house…or not?

She took a great intake of air and almost forgot to let it out. She couldn't understand why she was so nervous; she had known Snape for a week now. Maybe it was because she was turning up at his house uninvited. Yes, that was it. Wouldn't he be glad to see her again, though?

She knocked timidly on the door. Her hand hardly made any noise. Then she swallowed and let herself rap harder on the door. When nobody answered, she wanted to just call another cab and run back as fast as she could, but that was no longer an option, as the door had just opened.


	3. Celeste and Snape

"S-Severus?" said Celeste quietly. Snape came out of the doorway without a word, but his face suddenly broke into a rare smile at seeing her. She was very relieved. So relieved, in fact, that she threw her arms around him and, this time, squealed his first name. "Severus, I've missed you so!"

"What the…Oof!" said Snape. Celeste suspected he wasn't used to people hugging him. "We've only been apart for, what, a day and a half?" He was glad she'd missed him, though.

"Well, I know we haven't been apart for very long, but I'm just always thinking of you," Celeste informed him happily, feeling like her shyness had simply evaporated or something.

"Glad to hear it." Snape smiled again. Celeste would not let go of him, mostly because he smelled very good to her. _Eau de cologne_, she thought. She wanted to kiss him, since she had been thinking about it a lot, but she was about three inches shorter than he was, and she imagined the thought of taking his face down when he was standing up would be very embarrassing if she were to try it. Snape led her into the house, and she was surprised at how dark it was. She knew he always dressed in black, but it made him sort of mysterious to her, which always made her feel special; he loved _her_.

"What can I get for you, Celeste?" said Snape.

Celeste blushed again. "Oh, nothing…I'm not thirsty." She looked around at the room and tried to come up with something intelligent to say. "Umm…nice place you've got here, Severus."

"It's okay," said Snape, smiling again. He sat down on the couch next to Celeste, who flinched. Just why shouldn't he be sitting next to her, though? She breathed in his exceptionally nice cologne, and tried to focus on his words rather than what he smelled like. "So, why did you come here?"

"Oh." Celeste swallowed again. "Y-you want to…y-you want to go somewhere?"

"Well, sure," said Snape, looking incredulous. "You didn't have to come all the way here, you know. It's a really long way away from Hogsmeade, if I'm correct?" He smiled at Celeste again.

Celeste felt her face burn some more. She was amazed there wasn't a law against blushing this much in one morning. "Well, actually, I-I did, because y-you only gave me your address." She feebly held up the slip of paper that was still clenched in her hand. It was getting rather sweaty by now.

"I can't believe you cared enough to come this whole way," said Snape, looking amazed. "I apologize, I forgot to give you any other means of contacting me, but…you came all this way?" He put his arm around her, slowly stroking her hair, below the ponytail. She was feeling more and more turned on by his love, and she wondered why she couldn't just reach up and kiss him right there. Oh, well…

"Where do you want to go?" Snape asked her. "I mean, there's not much to do in this Muggle dump, and I think it would be a bit of a joke to go all the way back to Hogsmeade."

Celeste silently agreed with him. Why, she thought desperately, why did the stupid voice not talk to her and tell her something to say? Why could it not be helpful for _once_? This was the same thing that had happened every day she had gone out for the past week; something stupid like Snape's cologne or the way he put his arm around her distracted her so much she couldn't think of anything to say. Why could her roommate, Charlene, talk easily to everybody, and Celeste couldn't?

Maybe he'd say, "Why are you so quiet?" or "What's wrong?" but he never did. Maybe that was better, she thought, as she rested her head on his shoulder. Maybe it was better to just _be_, and say nothing. Maybe it was better if they could just sit there, doing nothing, until Celeste fell asleep…

She then realized he was looking at her with an inquisitorial look on his face, and that he had just asked her a question. Her mind quickly replayed their conversation so far, and she remembered he wanted to know what she thought they should do. She tried to think what would be smart.

"It's all right," said Snape suddenly, as if he had been reading her thoughts (and maybe he _had_ been; he was a pretty good Legilimens). "I don't know where we should go today, either."

"Right, there's, like, nothing to do," Celeste said. She was glad she had managed to say something, but the two of them had been dating for a week now! It couldn't be that she still felt so uncomfortable when she was with him, so shy. How could she tell him this, though? What if he thought she was angry with him or something? _HE should be angry with ME_, Celeste thought. _I came to his house in a moment of insanity, temporary insanity, and now we're just sitting here, bored out of our minds_.

"Look, Severus, I'm sorry," said Celeste suddenly. She was quite surprised that the words just seemed to be pouring out of her. Maybe that stupid little voice in her head was actually helping her now. Celeste made a face when she thought of how the voice had been right: going to Snape's house had been a really bad idea of Celeste's, perhaps one of her worst. She continued speaking, though. "I shouldn't have come to your house, because I have no idea what to do…or say, too…or anything."

Snape found himself remembering how he had thought Celeste was a bit different than any other woman he had met so far; she seemed a bit more insecure of herself. Unlike Margaret, who bad things happened to but was outgoing and socialized with everybody, recently ran off with Sirius Black; unlike Charlotte, his old crush back in his school days, also a Slytherin, who had regarded him as a "filthy half-blood". Snape didn't know what had happened to either of them, and he didn't care.

"Look, Celeste," he said rather sadly. "I want you to know that I love you. Even if you say something that could qualify as 'incredibly stupid,' that won't make me stop loving you."

Celeste was happy. She continued talking.

"I love you more than that. I love you all the way to the moon…and back." She smiled. That was from a book she had read as a child in France, _Guess How Much I Love You_. "Every time we're together, I feel like my heart skipped a beat…Every time you touch me, I'm happier then I ever was in my life…and every time I think of you, my love is as sure as the sky is blue on a summer's day…"

These were not her words. Celeste was quickly trying to think where she had heard them before, and then it hit her: This was something she had once heard her mother say to her father once when she was younger. Wait a minute…if this was her mother's poem, then, wasn't she…

She was speaking in French! She had said "all the way to the moon and back," and everything before that, of course, in English, because she hadn't spoken French in such a long time, she had forgotten. She didn't even have a French accent (well, maybe a trace of one, maybe). The words of that poem had just popped into her head, and she had said them, without hardly even thinking about it.

"Is that…French?" said Snape to Celeste.

"Yes." Celeste was starting to feel tears in her eyes. Why did she have to mess everything up? Just when she thought she had been able to talk freely, she had to go and talk French.

"It was wonderful." Snape's face broke into a smile. "French is one of the Romance Languages, did you know that? That was so beautiful. Can you translate it or anything?"

Yes, Celeste could translate it. She could translate it because she was completely fluent in English, having lived around London for fifteen years or so, and she knew what the words meant in French. Now she didn't want to translate them, though, because they seemed so embarrassing.

"No," she lied. "I don't know what they mean in French. I was too young when I heard it."

"Well, it was nice, Celeste," said Snape, leaning over and kissing the top of her hair. Celeste felt that same rush she had whenever he did something like that; it was sort of like being doused in icy water, but a good feeling all the same. It made her feel so special, so loved. Maybe today wouldn't be all bad. Snape liked her French, and, more importantly, he liked her. Maybe they could sit on Snape's sofa, loving each other, just _be_, and Celeste wouldn't feel horrible or awkward or stupid or anything.


	4. What Charlene Said

Turns out they didn't just sit around, but Celeste felt more confident now and she was able to contribute her ideas to the conversation. She _had_ been suffering from lack of confidence lately, but she wasn't a total wallflower. She knew a lot of fun places to go in the Wizarding world Snape didn't.

They returned to Hogsmeade. Celeste took Snape in for another butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks, and everything seemed happy. Snape took Celeste to the Potions store, which was very intriguing to him, but not really to Celeste (_Potions Weekly_ wasn't her kind of magazine, she liked _The Quibbler_. Even though it was rubbish, she liked the stories. They were pretty entertaining when she was bored).

"This day was so fun," Celeste told Snape as they rode in the back of a cab back to Hogsmeade. Celeste's face was flushed with excitement and happiness; she loved going places with Snape. Celeste was thinking, though. She was remembering her roommate, Charlene. What had she said about the address that Snape had given her? Oh, yes…she had said that if Celeste ever wanted to go to his house when he was trying to take her home, she just had to read off the address to the cab driver. So, even though she was feeling just a bit nervous again about this, Celeste quietly read off Snape's address to the cab driver.

"You sure, little lady?" said the cab driver. Frankly, he sounded very uneducated.

"Yes." Celeste grinned and jumped a little bit in her seat. She saw, out of the corner of her eye, Snape giving her an inquisitorial look, but she ignored him. Finally, they reached Spinner's End.

As they got off, Celeste tipped the cab driver, and they went into Snape's house and returned to the very familiar living room that greatly resembled Snape's dungeon classroom back at Hogwarts.

"Why are we coming back here?" said Snape.

Celeste smiled. She was feeling very flirty, for some reason. "I don't know. I think I like this place better than my apartment in Hogsmeade. Maybe I'll leave here at 8:30 or something. Late."

"What the…" Snape shrugged and sat down on the sofa again. He patted the seat for Celeste to sit down next to him, and she did. Snape continued. "I think I have to be getting to bed, Celeste, and you can't be here all night. Your roommate's going to be worried about you. You know, Charlene."

Snape knew about Charlene. Celeste had told him all about her.

"I didn't say I was going to be here all night," said Celeste. "And I'll come home by 8:30. Charlene doesn't come home until midnight, sometimes. She could be out drinking or something and…" Celeste failed to suppress a huge yawn. "She never tells me what she's going to be doing at nighttime."

"What are you saying, anyway?" said Snape. "That she's a bad roommate?"

"Maybe." Celeste looked at him. "Okay. The reason I came here is because I can't last more than an hour in consciousness without being right near you. Are you happy now? I love you that much."

"I'm wordless," said Snape softly, moving closer to Celeste on the sofa. "Simply wordless." He then found himself remembering Margaret, how good it had felt when she'd kissed him. Celeste wasn't looking at him, though; she was staring out at the darkening sky. Snape knew he loved Celeste. He had found love in the one woman who thought she would never go out with anybody; he liked how polite she was. She wasn't mean, she wasn't loud, and he suspected she considered his feelings before she considered her own. It all just made him feel like he was king of the universe or something like that.

Snape remembered how he'd been sitting on a bench with Margaret once, and she had turned his head so she could kiss his lips. He thought he would have to do it a bit softer, though, just not turn Celeste's head so hard, or she might have a heart attack or something. He put his arm around her and sort of sighed, and she turned her head to look at him. So he grabbed her shoulders, and kissed her. He could feel her shoulders relaxing under his grip, the tenseness in her slowly evaporating…

Then he put his hands down and put them nearer her waist. She put her arms up, slowly, around his neck, and they went on kissing, just like that. He knew she enjoyed it; so did he. He ran his hands up and down along her sides, and she gently, playfully, kicked his foot on the ground.

They had to come up for air sometime. So when they did, Celeste was looking at Snape, her eyes much brighter than they had been before. She was smiling; she must have put some sort of Charm on whatever lipstick she was wearing, because it hadn't even been smudged. She smiled and was reaching for him once again when her cellphone rang loudly. She laughed, sort of embarrassed.

"Hello?" said a voice. It was Charlene. Celeste hadn't even gotten to say anything.

"Oh, hi, Charlene!" said Celeste. She found her voice was rather higher than usual, perkier. "If you called to know where I am, I'm at Severus's house, I decided to stay for a bit longer…"

"Oh, no, that's not why I'm calling,Celeste," said Charlene. Her voice, in comparison, sounded much more serious than Celeste had ever heard it before. "I'm just saying you're going to have to find somewhere else to spend the night. The pipes are all broken in our apartment, basement flood or something. I'll be staying in a hotel with some other girlfriends. You can come too, but we'll have to squeeze you into our room, because there's four of us and only four beds. Gotta go, bye, Celeste."

"Bye, Charlene." Celeste hung up her phone and put it back in her pocket. She couldn't go back? Charlene hadn't told her when she could come back! And if Charlene and her friends couldn't make any room for her in their hotel bedroom, then where was she going to spend the night?

"What was it?" said Snape. His voice still sounded like he had enjoyed the kissing very much, but now it had a note of concern in it. Celeste suspected she looked very, very, worried.

"It was Charlene," said Celeste. "She says I can't go back to my apartment tonight. She says there was a basement flood or something like that. She says I have to find somewhere else to spend the night, that they don't have enough room for me at the hotel she's staying at. What'll I do?"

Snape looked toward a hallway. "Well…you can always stay here."


	5. Somewhere Other Than Honeydukes

Celeste's heart, she suspected, had leapt into her throat. Stay at her boyfriend's house? _Overnight_? They had only known each other for a week! They had kissed mere seconds ago!

Snape acted like he had just asked her over for dinner. "You can stay in the guest room."

"Oh. There's a guest room?" said Celeste. Even though most of her was relieved, she felt something else, something sinking in her chest. She realized it was disappointment…but…_why_? She swallowed hard and tried to think what Charlene would do in this situation, since she liked Charlene's personality. "Well, I was actually just thinking I should, you know…uh…not sleep in the guest room."

"You mean you want to sleep with ME?" said Snape. Celeste wished he hadn't put it that way.

"Umm…maybe," she said, finally finishing her sentence. "I just think I…I don't have anything to wear to bed, you know. I don't have my nightgown, or a toothbrush, or toothpaste, or…"

"That's what we have wands for," Snape told her. "Conjure one."

"Oh, yeah," said Celeste, realizing this was obvious. "Well…all right. It's not even 8:30 yet, though. Surely you don't go to bed before 8:30. Maybe 10:00, I'm guessing? Sometime like that?"

"Yes, somewhere around 10:00," said Snape. He still looked slightly unnerved, but Celeste thought he was actually glad she wasn't going in the guestroom. She suddenly just felt all shy again, and sighed, resting on the sofa and trying to look anywhere else but at Snape.

"Come on, Celeste, we don't have to go to bed for about two hours now," he said.

"We don't have to go to bed anytime," said Celeste hotly. "I'll stay on the couch. You can bring me an old blanket or something and I can spend the night in that, who cares."

"I'm not the one who wanted to sleep in the same room!" Snape shot back at her. "I told you that you could sleep in the guest room! It's just as good as my room! And you can sleep on the couch, Celeste, for all I care! This wasn't my idea! Why don't you just go to a hotel somewhere?"

Celeste just looked at him, and then she began to cry. Snape went closer to her, holding her, whispering to her that he was sorry, he didn't mean it, she could sleep anywhere she wanted, stuff like that. She just kept on crying, but a tiny bit of her was only continuing to cry because she liked his touch. The rest of her knew it was perfectly genuine. Finally, Celeste sat up again, her eyes red.

Snape was wondering then, because, wouldn't you know, Celeste reminded him of Margaret. The Charm he had put her under, the one that made her love him, was one that put her through a lot of mood swings leading up to the Yule Ball, and, as a result, their wedding. Snape had never married Margaret, and then he met Celeste, but Margaret had cried a lot under the Romance Charm.

"I'm sorry," said Celeste, sniffing. "DO you want to sleep in the same room? We don't have to."

"Well, I have a double bed," said Snape. "There's quite enough room for you. The question if I want to…I can tell you, I just might enjoy it. We'll see later." He smiled, and Celeste somehow knew he wanted to sleep in the same room but wasn't about to say it. Then he slowly pulled her into another kiss, and he felt so in love, so happy…Celeste did too. She greatly enjoyed playfully kicking his feet. Once in a while she felt his foot kick hers back, and she didn't respond, because she wanted to concentrate on the kiss, the way his lips were on hers, how it seemed to shoot through her whole body…

They finally pulled away, and Celeste felt her stomach growling. They had been having fun all day, almost, but they hadn't gone out to eat once. Celeste hadn't eaten since the Froot Loops. She had been so excited by his kissing her, though, that she hadn't even noticed that she was hungry.

She clutched her hands to her stomach so Snape wouldn't hear, but she said, "Can we have something to eat, now, Severus? I'll help you make dinner, if you want me to, you know."

"Don't you lift a finger," said Snape sharply. "You're my _guest_, you know."

"No, I can't just sit here on the couch," Celeste argued. The truth was, she was feeling extremely nervous about spending the night in the same room as Snape, and she figured doing something she enjoyed, like cooking, would help take some of it away. She just had to act natural now.

"If you want to," Snape said. He seemed perfectly fine with her staying overnight. Maybe it was because that kind of thing didn't worry him much. Celeste felt a bit more relaxed as she went into the kitchen that had the food in it. She was very good at cooking, and it was something she loved to do. She told Snape she would make dinner, and did he have spaghetti? He told her yes, he did.

Celeste got to work making spaghetti. She got increasingly hungrier as she saw the noodles in the pan, as they looked very delicious. And then she made her and Charlene's favorite dessert, Chocolate Cake, so she and Snape could eat it after they had some of Celeste's delicious spaghetti.

Finally, the spaghetti was cooking in the oven. Celeste came back out in the living room. Snape smiled at her again as she came in. She sat down on the couch and rested her head on Snape's shoulder. He was stroking her hair, stopping when he came to the ponytail holder. She looked over at him, feeling full of love, and love was certainly a wondrous feeling. Taking the place of the stupid queasy jolt in her stomach that she sometimes got was this warm feeling, like she had just drank some hot chocolate or soup. It filled every inch of her body, down to her toes. She whispered, "I love you, Severus."

"I love you too," said Snape, putting his hands around her waist again. She proceeded in putting her arms around his neck again, and they kissed each other. In a small moment of horror, Celeste realized Snape had left his mouth open. Then she remembered French-kissing. _I should really know this_, she thought. _I should really know this. I was born in France. I went to a French school_. And she opened her mouth, too, feeling Snape's tongue against hers. It was the weirdest sensation, but she enjoyed it all the same. They went on like that for a while, until Celeste thought she would explode from excitement. Finally, she had to pull away from Snape. She sighed contentedly, loving his touch, loving every little inch of him, loving him from his head to his toes, loving everything about him, everything he did. If this was love, Celeste thought as he pulled her into another kiss, this one not French, then all the poets and philosophers and artists and other people who said love was the best force on Earth were right.

When they finished kissing, Celeste was filled with feelings, and the only one she could decipher was this kind of happiness, euphoria, excitement, maybe, that she could hardly even stand. She didn't know why so many women ditched Snape; she gladly would have given up her salary, her job, her whole apartment for him, maybe, almost anything. Anyway, if she gave away her apartment, she would have to sleep at his house every night, wouldn't she? And she wondered if she wanted to.

"I wouldn't trade you for the world," she whispered to him.

"And I wouldn't trade you for the world, and all the copies of _Potions Weekly_," said Snape, grinning. He really did love Celeste; everything about her was wonderful, it seemed. Sure, she could be a little shy, and she sometimes did things a bit on impulse, but just look where it had gotten them! He decided that was enough kissing for one night, but this time _Celeste_ kissed _him_.

They tried to lock lips for as long as they could without coming up for air. They were just starting to get so much more comfortable with each other, kissing way much more than they needed to, when suddenly they heard this little popping noise. And then all the lights went out.


	6. In The Dark

"Here, don't worry," said Snape. He took out his wand. "_Lumos_!"

"No." Celeste grabbed his wrist. She then took out her own wand. "_Nox_!" Now the living room was quickly pitch-dark again, and she couldn't see a thing. She laughed.

Snape's voice sounded strange in the darkness, for some reason. "There was a power outage, Celeste. I was trying to give us some light. I can't even see anything."

"That's the point!" said Celeste, giggling. She knocked Snape down on the couch and kissed his lips, since it wasn't so embarrassing to do that once the lights were off. He made some kind of grunt, probably due to the fact that she was on top of him, but he put his hands on top of her and returned her kiss, and they lay there, on the couch, kissing until a few minutes passed and Celeste's eyes adjusted. She sat up. Her hair was sort of messy. She tightened her ponytail and saw Snape get up too.

"I like that kissing the best," Celeste said, still feeling giggly.

"Hm," said Snape. Celeste could faintly make out his smile in the darkness. He looked at his watch, and turned the light on, so he could see it. It was 9:00. They had passed over thirty minutes since Celeste had first came back to Snape's house after their outing. Suddenly, the oven beeped. Since Celeste had used a kind of Heating Charm for the chocolate cake, she didn't need to put it in the oven. She had Muggle-baked the spaghetti, though, and now it was finally ready to serve for her and Snape.

"Dinner's ready," said Celeste. "Want to light a candle?"

"All right, then," said Snape, putting his arm around Celeste as the two walked into the kitchen. Celeste found herself thinking of Charlene, who was stuck in a hotel room with three other girls, probably playing stupid games like Truth or Dare to pass the time. Celeste knew they couldn't be having as much fun as she was, though. She did love being in Snape's house, when the only ones there were Snape and Celeste, just being happy and just being in love and just being whatever else they wanted.

When they got into the kitchen, Snape lit a candle and he and Celeste spooned the spaghetti onto their plates and then they ate it. It was really delicious, and Celeste was glad when Snape complimented her on the spaghetti. She was waiting all the meal to bring out the chocolate cake. Finally, they were both done eating their dinner. Celeste grinned and went into the refrigerator for the chocolate cake.

"Ta-da!" she said, and brought it out, putting it on the table. She gave a slice to Snape, and another slice to herself. Snape took a bite of the cake, and said it was also delicious. Celeste grinned. She was so glad he liked her food. Besides, she had always loved cooking. It came naturally to her.

Dinner was simply wonderful, and after that, they just sort of sat on the couch, talked, kissed some more, and made fun of each other (teasingly, of course). Celeste made her voice sound like Snape's (or as much as she could, anyway) and said, "I am Snape, the Potions Master." Then she made her voice all high and squeaky and said, "I love you, Celeste!" They both found it very funny.

Finally, it was 10:00. Celeste found herself getting nervous again. _Why won't you just go in the dumb old guestroom and sleep THERE_? said the stupid voice in her head. Celeste didn't answer its questions, but she thought she wouldn't like the guestroom as much, for some reason.

Celeste conjured up an overnight bag, and then conjured her nightgown and toothbrush and stuff and put them inside it. She stood by the wall a little bit, scared, and then went in the closet. She told herself she wasn't going to come out until she had her nightgown on and Snape was in his bed. When she was fully dressed and heard the mattress squeak and covers moving, she finally got out. Her mind wanted so badly to just go in the guestroom, but her feet wouldn't. They took her to the bed.


	7. What Happened That Night

Celeste got in Snape's double bed, so nervous she could hardly speak. She was totally embarrassed, so she rolled over and put her face on top of the pillow, so she could see nothing but her eyelids. She was now thinking that she might want to sleep in the guestroom tonight after all.

Celeste turned over and accidentally rolled into Snape. She was horrified and started to edge away from him as fast as she could, until she realized he was, well, _warm_, and her hormones just wouldn't let her get away from him. She knew he wasn't wearing any shirt, and that made half of her want to get off him, but half of her wanted to stay. So she did, and then committed "arm theft." She found herself wondering how married women could get in bed with their husbands and not be embarrassed about it at all. They could even undress in front of their husbands. Celeste figured she was just a hopeless case.

Celeste decided that if she were in the guestroom, she wouldn't be snuggled against Snape and holding his arm in her hands. She knew she wouldn't be smelling his excellent cologne, and she definitely WOULD be lying in the bed, realizing that she had passed by a one and only chance to…to what? She took a huge, deep, breath, and shivered. She was feeling very cold all of a sudden…

"You cold, Celeste?" came Snape's voice. Celeste felt that same rush, all because he had spoken…She had never noticed how manly his voice was. It was so soothing to her. Her nervousness drifted slowly away, and she enjoyed that peaceful moment of bliss after hearing his voice.

"Not anymore," said Celeste. "How did you acquire so much body heat?" She couldn't believe she had just said something so embarrassing, but maybe he wouldn't care. Or notice.

"I didn't," said Snape, and he turned over to face her. "You know, Celeste, you might not think so, but I think you're an amazing person. You can cook, you're funny, and nice…"

"Am I?" said Celeste, letting go of Snape's arm. She knew she could cook, she couldn't deny that, but was she really funny? Did she make him laugh? And she might have acted nice, but that was only because she was trying to be polite. She really hadn't known it would add up like this.

"Of course you are," said Snape, still speaking. "Oh, yeah, and you can speak French, too."

"Not really," said Celeste. "I don't know what came over me earlier today. I just found myself talking, and then I realized I was talking French. Anyway, I've rather forgotten, I've lived in Hogsmeade so long I can hardly remember the last time that I knew French. It's really hard for me."

"When did you first start learning English?" said Snape.

"Oh, I don't know," said Celeste. "My parents just wanted me to learn English so I could travel to America and Britain and some other English-speaking countries. So I started when I was about six or something, they wanted me to start off young, you know, so it'd be easier to learn. The earlier you start a language, the easier it is to learn. So that's why I'm completely fluent in English now. Sometimes I don't really like the fact that I forgot my native tongue, French, but usually I'm okay with it."

"English is supposed to be a hard language," said Snape. "I'm impressed."

"Thanks," said Celeste, laughing. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard to sleep here after all. "You know, Severus, it was sort of hard to talk around you when we first met." She closed her eyes, remembering. "I just didn't know what to say, you know. After a while, I got to know you…" She snuggled up against him, and rubbed her hand against his chest, feeling like she wanted to hug him. Some people said Snape was the meanest person they had ever met, but Celeste was glad she was one of the rare people who saw the soft side of him, how nice he really could be. "I used to think I was socially challenged." She laughed and quoted the lines of one of her favorite songs. "_I don't know how you do what you do_…"

Snape finished. "_I'm so in love with you…It just keeps getting better_…"

They sang the rest of the chorus together:

"_I wanna spend the rest of my life_

_With you by my side,_

_Forever and ever,_

_Every little thing that you do,_

_Baby, I'm amazed by you_…"

(Thanks to LONE STAR for the lyrics for the song "_Amazed_!")

"I love that song." Celeste laughed. "Anyway, it describes us fine…"

Snape yawned. "It does. I'm pretty tired, though…so I'll see you tomorrow, Celeste." He turned over to face her, and she hugged him and fell asleep in that position, happy, once again, and not worrying about anything, not even the leaky basement at Honeydukes and her apartment.


	8. The Morning After

Celeste groaned as shades were pulled open. The light hit her eyes in an unnerving way. She saw Snape standing there, pulling open the curtains. Bright sunlight streamed through, and Celeste's slow morning brain finally figured out that it was morning now. She noticed Snape was wearing a black robe and smiling at her. It looked like he had taken a shower, because his hair was all wet.

"Morning, Severus," said Celeste. And then she felt sick all of a sudden. Her hair…wasn't it going to be all messed up now? She hated her hair in the morning. And her face always looked horrible, too. Celeste really didn't know why sleeping made her look so ugly, but it did. She groaned and turned over on her pillow. What was she thinking, anyway? That she would suddenly be pretty?

"What's the matter?" said Snape.

"Nothing," said Celeste. "Why don't you go down and get some breakfast? Leave me up here. I'll be down in an hour or so. And then we can have breakfast and I can go back to Honeydukes." She put the covers over her head and refused to come up until a nonplussed Snape had left the room.

Celeste felt like crying as she went into the bathroom. She saw a closet nearby and grabbed a towel. She really wanted to find someone who was married someday; ask how they got undressed in front of their husbands, slept with them, _and_ let them see how ugly they were in the morning. Or maybe they were just prettier than she was, and they weren't ugly when they woke up, just naturally pretty.

Celeste took a shower (at least she enjoyed the hot water, she thought, Snape hadn't used it up) and she dried herself off. Then she conjured up her clothes and got dressed, then blow-dried her hair. Why didn't she have nice hair like all the other people she knew? Charlene had frizzy hair, so it always looked messy, but it was still pretty. Why was she the one with the stupid messy hair? She hated it.

Finally, she looked presentable. Celeste was actually pretty, but she didn't know it. She came downstairs, and saw Snape standing at the oven, cooking breakfast. He smiled at her as she entered.

"Morning, Celeste," he said brightly. Celeste wondered aloud what was the matter with him.

"Nothing's wrong with me," said Snape. "Just happy…want some chocolate?" He handed a box to her and ate some out of them. Celeste looked at the chocolate and sighed…then she gasped loudly.

"What?" said Snape thickly (his mouth was full of chocolate).

"_Extra Love Potion Chocolates. Eat 'em till you're deliriously happy or give them to a sweetheart_!" Celeste read off the box. "My God, Severus, I thought you might be able to recognize those things."

"Love Potion Chocolates?" said Snape. He looked on the side of the box. "Oh, yeah, I remember now. I left these for you last week, and I forgot to give you them. I totally forgot these were Love Potion Chocolates, and so I ate them. Now I'll have to wait a while. If you give them to yourself, all that it does is make you happy with no reason. If you give them to someone else, though, they'll love you to pieces. I don't think I should have eaten these things." He kept on smiling. "I'll make the antidote."

"I'm glad there _is_ an antidote," said Celeste darkly.

"What's the matter with you, anyway?" said Snape conversationally as he got potion ingredients out of a special cupboard. "I don't think you're usually this moody, do you know that?"

"You sound like Lockhart," Celeste snapped.

The Love Potion Chocolates had done well on Snape; this comment did not make him angry, and Celeste knew how much he hated Lockhart. Truthfully, she didn't know why she was being so mean to him; she was just in a bad mood today, she thought. She sat at the table. "Got breakfast?"

"Yes, I have got breakfast, but you've just got to wait while I make the antidote," said Snape. He hurriedly made the rest of the potion and then drank it quickly. Celeste stared at him. Snape smiled again, but this time it wasn't like Lockhart, it was Snape's original smile. A relieved Celeste smiled back at him. Snape got out breakfast and the two of them sat there, happily eating their bread rolls.


	9. Dealing With Charlene

Finally, Snape had to take Celeste home. They called a cab and Celeste went home. Snape waved at her until she disappeared into her apartment at Honeydukes. She went up in the elevator, and then when she opened the door, she saw Charlene sitting on her bed, jiggling her foot impatiently.

"Where were _you_?" she snapped.

"Oh," said Celeste, feeling herself blush again. "I was at Severus's house."

"_Severus's _house?" said Charlene, her eyes widening. "Did you make out? Did he make you dinner?" Her eyes almost reminded Celeste of a surprised house-elf's, the way that they widened almost to the size of dinner plates at her next question. "Oh…I know…did you _sleep_ with him?"

"Did I…what?" said Celeste thickly.

"You know what I mean, Celeste," said Charlene slyly. "You know, you were at his house all night. I can tell by your face you two did _something_." She grinned widely at Celeste.

Celeste caught onto what Charlene was saying and felt herself go red. "No, Charlene, I-I didn't even sleep in his room. I-I slept in the guestroom." Celeste was guilty about lying, but she didn't want Charlene on her case, even if they liked to tell each other everything. This was _her_ secret.

"You slept in the _guestroom_?" said Charlene incredulously. "Are you, like, a _total_ wallflower? What did he say?" She looked at Celeste as though she knew there was a falsehood here.

"H-he didn't mind," said Celeste. "I-I…umm…you see, he doesn't have a double bed."

"Anyway, if you didn't sleep with him, then did you at least make out with him, Celeste?" asked Charlene, looking as though she feared the answer and didn't exactly want to know.

"I…umm…well, we kissed a bit," Celeste admitted. Then, suddenly, she had this strong desire to show her roommate that she _wasn_'_t_ a total wallflower. She would show Charlene she wasn't stupid. "A-And know what else? We also French-kissed, Charlene. I just _knew_ he liked my French…"

"French-kissing?" said Charlene dully. "Big deal, Celeste, big deal." She rolled her eyes and lay back on her bed. "I'll have you know what we really did last night, you know that?"

"What did you really do last night?" said Celeste, in spite of herself.

"Let's just say I wasn't entirely with GIRLfriends," Charlene said. "Oh, yeah…they came right into our hotel room, and, I can tell you, we had a bit of a good time with them, you know. If you had even been there, though, Celeste, I don't think that you would even have gotten in bed!"

"You GOT in bed?" said Celeste. "W-with who?"

"Some guys." Charlene shrugged. "My friends knew them. I met one I really like, and he doesn't have any girlfriend or anything…well, now he does." She laughed.

Celeste was getting worried. "Charlene…you got in bed with a guy you hardly know?"

"Yes."

"Well…that's…that's not good," Celeste said helplessly. "I mean…what if something happened? What if you got some sort of disease or something? What if you got PREGNANT?"

"Hey…" Charlene looked at Celeste weirdly. "I didn't say we…"

"Don't wanna hear it!" Celeste screeched. "Unlike you, Charlene, I believe in getting to know somebody before I get in bed with them, and I think it's TACTLESS how you didn't."

"Well, you're not my parents, Celeste," Charlene snapped. "I don't think you can tell me what I should or shouldn't do. I'm a big girl now, and I have my own conscience to annoy me. You just don't need to help it along in its ways. I think I'd prefer it if you just stayed out of my business."

"Fine, then I'll stay out of your business," Celeste said. "I don't want to hear about it anyway."

"You know what?" Charlene said. "I'm not going to stay here at night anymore. Maybe I will, someday, but I don't think so, somehow. I'll tell you if I'm going to stay here overnight."

"Charlene…" Celeste pleaded. And then she scowled. "Fine. I don't care."


	10. Raymond's Mistake

She went downstairs for her shift at Honeydukes. The people who were buying candy from her (mostly the sweet little children) wondered why she looked half-worried, half-sulky. She wished she could have been much nicer to her customers, but, as she said to herself, even Shakespeare had his down days…Finally, the gray-haired employee was working with her on her shift named Raymond came to talk to her. He was looking like he thought that she had a problem there or something.

"Something wrong?" he said.

"Oh…umm…no." Celeste sighed.

"Here. You can have some of our best chocolate," offered the other Honeydukes employee. He took a bar off a shelf. "Don't you know? Employees can have two pieces a day with no cost." He laughed. "Then they have to start paying up like normal customers do. You haven't had any yet today."

"Oh, thanks, Raymond," said Celeste. She took her chocolate gingerly…then she remembered Snape and how he had accidentally eaten his own Love Potion Chocolates today. What if…

"Don't worry," said Raymond cheerfully, as if he had been reading Celeste's mind. "I haven't poisoned it or anything, you know." He smiled at her and got back to his shift, leaving Celeste to eat her chocolate and wonder why she cared so much about Charlene. Maybe it was because she and Charlene used to be such friends, and now Charlene was sleeping with people she hardly knew and got mad when Celeste voiced any worries about it; it seemed almost as if they were drifting apart or something.

"Yo! Hey, nice laaady!" called a little boy's voice. It was another customer. Celeste realized that he had been calling for a long time until she had finally responded to his need for the candy.

"Sorry, terribly sorry," said Celeste hurriedly as she went to help the customer. She tried to smile at the little boy, who was still staring at her like she had just gone mad or something. Celeste ignored the look on his face and said, "What would you like from Honeydukes today, young man?"

"I wanna lollipop," said the little boy. "Make it extra juicy."

"Uhhh…" Celeste looked at Raymond, but he was busy helping an old lady who Celeste was quite sure would never say something like, "I wanna lollipop." Anyway, she looked back at the little boy, who was now watching her impatiently. "All right…what flavor would you like to buy?"

"Chocolate," said the little boy.

"Sure you can," said Celeste, who was just eager for the little boy to leave. So she got a chocolate lollipop off the lollipop tree and gave it to the little boy, who looked at her angrily and left, but not before he had pulled the wrapper and sucked on his lollipop. Celeste sighed heavily.

"You know," she said to Raymond, "some kids can be real brats."

"They're just kids," said Raymond pleasantly. "Maybe something was just on his mind, maybe something was bothering him. You can't say a kid's a brat from one encounter."

"Everybody's a critic," said Celeste, feeling tears in her eyes. "Even you, Raymond."

Raymond sighed. "Celeste…you can't do this. I thought you said nothing was bothering you. Why do you cry when I'm just saying you can't call one of our customers a brat?"

"Severus wouldn't have said that," Celeste said tearfully. She realized the problem was that she missed her boyfriend, really badly. "Severus would've agreed. He always does."

"Who's Severus?" said Raymond blankly.

"He's my boyfriend!" Celeste said so loudly that half the store jumped. "And I-I love him!"

"Y-your boyfriend?" said Raymond. He sighed. "Oh, Celeste, is that where you stayed last night when our basement had a leak?" He looked at her. She looked back at him sharply.

"Yes, that IS where I stayed," she said. "And what business of yours is it, may I ask?"

Raymond smiled kindly. Too kindly, Celeste thought. He pushed her toward the stairs. "All right, Celeste, why don't you have the day off? You can do makeup hours later, if you want."

"Oh…but…Raymond, I…" Celeste protested.

"No, no, go on, it's fine!" said Raymond, still smiling. "Don't worry, Celeste, go on…You can come back to work when you're ready." He shunted her off. Celeste looked at him strangely before going all the way up to her apartment, only because it was no use arguing with Raymond.

Charlene was in the bathroom, so Celeste was alone, alone to think by herself. And it was a long time before Celeste realized something very embarrassing: the reason Raymond had left her have the rest of the day off was that he had thought she was with child! And all because she had slept over at Snape's house, just once. Could you get pregnant in only one night, anyway?

_Well, how can you help him? You sure acted like you slept with Snape_, said that annoying voice. Celeste decided not to listen to it…but she somehow knew that it was right.


	11. Snape's Visitor

Meanwhile, Snape watched as Celeste ran into Honeydukes. He knew she that she had to work today, but he secretly wished she could stay longer. He had certainly enjoyed the kissing, but he was wondering if he should have done something more, actually (as in overnight). Maybe she would have had a heart attack if he tried to do anything, but he thought she'd liked the kissing, too.

Suddenly, Snape's doorbell rang. For one moment his brain went haywire and he thought it was Celeste, but then he remembered she was working today. So he went to the door, puzzled as to who would come to see him besides Celeste, opened the door, and saw Gilderoy Lockhart.

"Severus!" cried Lockhart, catching Snape in a hug. Snape grunted. Lockhart had apparently forgiven him for going out with Meg once, since they had broken up. _Now_, thought Snape_, it's that idiot Black he should be mad at, not me. Meg is absolutely loopy about Sirius Black_.

"Okay…why did you come here?" Snape said, watching Lockhart warily. He thought Lockhart was going to jump right at him again, and he didn't particularly want that to happen.

"I was just coming to tell you that my plan worked," Lockhart said proudly. "I made Celeste have a leak in her basement, so she would come over to your house. After she left, I called some people to come and fix the leak. Isn't that the coolest thing I ever did? Aren't you grateful for me? Anyway, Severus, the reason I came is so I could ask if you two had any…you know…_fun_."

"Lockhart, if you meant we had intercourse, we…"

"I _KNEW_ IT!" screamed Lockhart triumphantly before Snape could finish. "I _knew_ if I put you two together, you would do something inappropriate! And wasn't I right, Severus?"

"No, you weren't," said Snape. "We did nothing. And anyway, it's not inappropriate."

"You should have," said Lockhart, ignoring that last comment of Snape's. "And, anyway, I know you would have enjoyed it, Severus. I know you two would become very intimate. And I know it would be something like you wanted her to stay so, again, you two could have had…"

"Shush," said Snape. And then, more seriously, "So you think I should've?"

"Yes," said Lockhart, stressing the word. "Of course, Severus…you're a big boy now! If you didn't do it last night, then when are you going to? You need to think about this."

"Maybe after I'm married?" said Snape curtly. "And I don't think about _it_ all the time."

"You did when you were thirteen." Lockhart grinned. He seemed to want Snape to chase him around the house, only to be finally smashed in the head by a large umbrella.

"Well, I was a teenage boy! What did you expect?" said Snape angrily, wanting that umbrella. "And I'll have you know I didn't think about it all the time, anyway, you idiot!"

"Then what did you think about?" said Lockhart. "The size of her…"

"Okay, now you're starting to piss me off," Snape interrupted him. "Just because I thought about crawling in bed with this certain girl doesn't mean I had any real plans of it."

"I know who you liked," said Lockhart in a singsong voice, dancing around the room. "Charlotte. And I heard you telling Lucius you wanted to get in bed with her, you know, when we were outside. And Lucius said that she had big you-know-whats, and you agreed with him, too."

"Well…" said Snape slowly. He did remember that day…

"And did you hear? Charlotte Smith is in Azkaban. She was a Death Eater." Lockhart danced around the room some more. Snape menacingly edged over to his umbrella stand.

"She's in Azkaban?" said Snape. "Serves her right…Anyway, do you know where Meg is?"

"Oh, Meg?" said Lockhart, his eyes clouding over. "She went to the Bahamas with Sirius Black. They got married, I think. Remember, Sirius was innocent? In the People Magazine section of the _Daily Prophet_, they've got an article about how they eloped and might be coming back."

"Of course they will," said Snape curtly. "Black is Potter's godfather, remember?"

"Oh yeah," said Lockhart, a look of comprehension dawning on his stupid face. "Wasn't it so fun when we went to school with them, Severus? And you still go to school with Harry!"

"No, I don't!" Snape yelled, his hand fastening over one umbrella. "I'm just his teacher. And anyway, you really are getting on my nerves. So if you wouldn't leave right now, please…"

"I don't want to," said Lockhart sadly. "I want to play with you."

Snape sighed. Lockhart was quite stupid. Finally, he lifted his umbrella and said, "I can't play. You've got until the count of three…" He showed Lockhart three fingers, and put one down, then another…and as he was lowering the last finger, Lockhart stood there for a moment, just staring.

"STOP!" he screamed. "Oh, Severus, I don't want to leave yet! I thought you were the only person who would listen to me, but now, even you won't listen to what I have to say anymore!"

"Well, what is it?" said Snape impatiently.

"I…I don't have a girlfriend," said Lockhart sadly. "And you do. And this time it's not a Romance Charm on her or anything. And, please, can't you help me be more cool with the ladies?"

"The _ladies_?"

"Yes," said Lockhart, sniffing. "The reason I put you two together is, I want to know what you guys did, so then I can do it with my girlfriend. Did you…umm…play Ultimate Frisbee, maybe?"

"Ultimate Frisbee?" said Snape. Lockhart was really, incredibly, stupid. "No, for your information, we were kissing, and when you do that, you have to sort of put your hands around her waist. Have you ever heard of something called French-kissing? It's where you kiss with your tongues. And how could you do anything with your girlfriend if you don't even have a girlfriend? Were you lying or something?"

"No," said Lockhart sadly. "I mean if I get one. And, you know, French-kissing sounds disgusting."

"Only until you try it," said Snape simply, watching Lockhart closely. "Besides, if you want a girlfriend, you really have to…umm…" Snape was about to say how his visitor should stop being so stupid, but he didn't want a crying Lockhart rampaging through his house. A happy one was bad enough. "You have to learn some more things, like learn how to do magic better. Girlfriends love magical people."

"I have magical powers," said Lockhart. "The ladies all think I'm stupid, though."

"That's because you ARE stupid," said Snape, but only so quiet that Lockhart couldn't hear. Loud enough, though, he said, "Maybe you should try to be more…umm…intelligent, you know?"

"What about…" Lockhart frowned. "Physically?"

Snape stared at him. "What the…oh, you get out of here." He pushed Lockhart out the door. What was this idiot thinking, anyway? Snape watched Lockhart turn around to look at him.

Lockhart grinned stupidly. Without a word, Snape used his wand to read his thoughts. He was only able to do this because Lockhart was so unintelligent that he didn't notice. Lockhart was thinking about him and, wouldn't you know, Meg, kissing under the moonlight. Snape blinked as the rush of lost love filled him…but wasn't he over her? He waved to Lockhart, feeling strangely sympathetic.


	12. Sirius Returns

The squeak of dolphins pierced the still night air. Waves lapped the side of the sandy beach where two people were sitting. Margaret Winston's long blonde hair whipped her face as she watched the sun setting into the ocean. Beside her sat Sirius Black, who wasn't exactly that happy now.

When the two of them had first eloped to the Bahamas, they'd liked it very much. Now Sirius wanted to go back and see how Harry was doing. Margaret had no idea, but she enjoyed their vacation. Despite what all the articles in the _Daily Prophet_ said, Sirius was NOT married to her, not yet. They were simply taking a short holiday. They weren't really ready for the commitment of marriage yet.

Sirius was wondering how he would introduce the idea to Margaret that he was possibly homesick. He did know that Harry could take care of himself, but still…he missed Ron, Hermione, and Andrea too. Margaret, however, seemed perfectly happy here. She already had her arm around Sirius.

"Y'know…I was thinking…" Sirius began.

"Shhh," said Margaret, glaring at him. Then she laughed and leaned against him. "All right, you can talk. I just like the silence. It's so pretty…but keep in mind, the Bahamas was _my_ idea."

"I know," said Sirius. "Anyway…I think it's time we should go back."

Margaret looked astonished, and her voice only made it seem more so. "Go back? Sirius…why? We've only been here for one day short of a week!" She went silent, and then she looked at him concernedly. "Sirius, well, don't be mad, but…are you actually trying to say you're homesick or something?"

"Maybe," said Sirius. Their conversation was getting colder by the minute. "I just don't like it here. I really want to go home. I don't think we were meant to be isolated here by ourselves all the time. Besides, I'm part of the Order, and so are you. We might have to do a job for them sometime, now my name's cleared, and you can't hide out here all the time." He looked at her, hoping she'd understand him. "I think we were meant to be back where there's civilization. It's nice here, but…"

Margaret sighed, then interrupted him. "I know, you don't have to explain."

"Yes, I do," Sirius insisted. "You don't want to go back, I know you don't. You're enjoying yourself here, us by ourselves. And nobody to interfere like Snape would. We just need to go."

"You just disproved your own point," said Margaret. "I'm not _going_."

"Please?" said Sirius flatly. "I really want to go home. I don't think we were meant to stay here all our lives and never get out or do anything. I've already had enough of that. You know I have. This isn't the same thing, but…still…don't you ever get homesick? Don't you ever want to go back?"

"Of course I want to go back." Margaret sighed. "It's just…Snape. You know he put a Romance Charm on me and I actually proposed to him, sort of…I don't think I can face him again, Sirius."

"Well, of course you THINK you can't," said Sirius. "It'll be him who can't face you."

"Really?" said Margaret. "Remember? Dumbledore said he found a girlfriend. And I'll bet they're already married to each other. When we finally come back there again, Sirius, they'll be…"

"Fighting themselves to oblivion?" Sirius said. He laughed. "A week ago, Margaret, they didn't even know each other. A week ago, you and I were still separated. A week ago, everything was different. It IS a very unfortunate thing to have happened, but I know Snape, and he's really not going to try and get married in such a hurry again." Sirius watched Margaret's face. "Us, in the meantime, we've known each other since we were only eleven-year-olds. I think it's time we stopped dating, you know that?"

"You mean," said Margaret, "you're breaking up with me, aren't you?" She was smiling.

"Margaret, you're such an idiot," said Sirius, mock-scornfully. He laughed and knocked Margaret down on the sand. She laughed as much as he did, possibly even more. And it was her idea to kiss passionately in the first place. Sirius continued his proposal. "Anyway, I think we should be married. You know we were meant for each other, Margaret. You just know it. And so do I. I've always known it."

"When I was twelve, I never would have guessed I would be here with you," said Margaret. "Especially not lying on the sand and—Sirius, stop that—kissing passionately. Never in my natural life."

"Then what did you think you would be?" said Sirius.

"An old maid, perhaps," said Margaret. "What did you think you would be? You thought you'd be sitting in some rich woman's house, eating her twice-baked, once-microwaved potatoes, did you?"

"No…but that sounds delicious. Twice-baked, once-micro…ack!" Before Sirius could even finish, Margaret sat up and pulled him into a long, romantic kiss. After that, they decided to finally go home.


	13. Charlene and Celeste

Celeste found that Charlene never slept in the apartment anymore. Well, sometimes she did, but it simply seemed like never to Celeste, who found herself being extremely worried for her roommate. She didn't even know where Charlene was half the time, and mostly never at night. Celeste sometimes even cried at night, even though she knew she was overreacting. Charlene was "branching out", if Celeste's suspicions were correct, and she certainly surprised Celeste when she came home. It was the same day that Celeste had slept over at Snape's house, and Celeste thought Charlene looked tired.

"Hey, Charlene," she said, not unkindly. "Glad you came. You're never home anymore."

"Oh, Celeste," groaned Charlene, and she flopped down on her old bed. "What am I going to do? I know you're not going to approve of this, Celeste. You'll know anyway, though, later."

"Why? What is it?" said Celeste. "You lost something again?"

"Hmph. Maybe," said Charlene, sighing deeply and adjusting the covers on her bedspread. She looked at her roommate, who could see that she looked more worried than usual: even more worried than her voice had sounded when she called Celeste about that leak in the basement a couple of days ago. "Well, no. I guess you could say, Celeste, that a few nights ago from today, I lost my virginity."

"You WHAT?" said Celeste. Even though she knew perfectly well what that meant.

"Do I have to explain it to you?" said Charlene, looking both annoyed and incredulous. "Or maybe you just need a hearing aid or something. Well…anyway, I know you won't approve of this, Celeste. I really, really know you won't approve of this. And I don't either, but I'm going to have a baby."

"You idiot," Celeste hissed under her breath, but only so Charlene wouldn't hear. What she thought was, _I can't believe you'd do something like that to a guy you hardly know_. What she said was, "Charlene, well, if it fits the circumstances, er, congratulations. I just don't think I would (no, make that could) do a thing like that to a guy I hardly even know, though. Were you, like, drinking or something?"

"No, of course I wasn't drinking," Charlene sighed. "Just warning you, though, I'll be throwing up every morning and, you know…you could be just eating breakfast, minding your own business and perfectly at peace with the world, then BLLLAAARRRRKKKKHHH!!! you hear me barfing down in the bathroom. I guess you could say it's not a pleasant thing to hear when you're eating your breakfast."

"Who's the father?" was Celeste's next question. Then, rather scathingly, "Or do you not know?"

"Of course I _know_, Celeste," said Charlene, tears starting in her eyes. "He's this guy I met a long time ago somewhere. You know, like a month ago…but anyway, we only did it two or three times, and I thought it took a while to get a baby. I didn't want this. And, y'know, Jim is more worried than I am, because they almost always blame the guy. They'd say he got me pregnant, you know. I think…I think maybe I should just get an abortion before anybody else can find out. You won't tell, will you, Celeste?"

"Oh, Charlene, of course I won't!" said Celeste. "You really want to…y'know…kill it?"

Charlene was sniffling now. "I know it seems wrong, but…I'm not really killing it…am I? And anyway, this kid wouldn't even exist if it weren't for my irresponsibility. Am I really destroying a life that never should have been there in the first place? Maybe this wasn't…y'know…_supposed_ to happen."

"Well, actually, Charlene," said Celeste, "could I tell Severus this?"

"No!" Charlene gasped. "What are you, Celeste, a blabber? I don't even _know_ your boyfriend, and you're going to go and tell him I got pregnant when I wasn't actually married or even engaged?"

"I just thought it would give him ideas," Celeste joked. "I told him who you are, though, just so you can know, Charlene." Celeste actually had no desire for Snape to get any ideas whatsoever. "Kidding! I could ask him what he thinks you should do, though. He's so intelligent…and so handsome…"

"Yo. Celeste." Charlene waved her hand in front of Celeste's face. "He's so sexy that your eyes have to cloud over every time you talk about him? So _that's_ why your eyes have been clouding over all this time, you know…almost every time I look at you, you're just thinking about how sexy he is?"

"_Charlene_," said Celeste. "He's not 'sexy,' he's handsome. Very."

"Same difference," said Charlene. "Hey, look, the Daily Prophet's here." Even though Celeste thought this was mainly to change the subject, it was completely true: the Daily Prophet had arrived. "Check this one out, this one on the front page, Celeste." Charlene gave the owl a Knut and it flew off. She moved over to show the front page to Celeste. "See this. It's something about that guy, Sirius Black…"

**_SIRIUS BLACK RETURNS_!**

Sirius Black returns! With celebrated Auror Margaret Smith, who seems to have greatly enjoyed how the two had eloped about a week ago, he and Smith have finally Apparated back to our world. Close sources say the two "lovebirds" have been dating since they were fifth years at Hogwarts. Contrary to the popular belief, Albus Dumbledore says, "Sirius Black is innocent of ALL CHARGES. No questions, please, but I know that this is true."

"Severus knows him," said Celeste. "Sirius Black, I mean. Severus says he was a stupid, no-good loser who hung around with three other guys tripping innocent first years and sniggering. The two of them were in the same year at Hogwarts. Severus really, really hates Sirius Black, you know…"

"Tripping first years?" said Charlene. "Black must be a real prat. I went to Hogwarts around the same time he did, but he was three years younger than I was, so I didn't know him very well."

"That's funny," said Celeste. "How was Hogwarts? Severus says it was really good."

"It _was_ really good," said Charlene. "You went to Beauxbatons, though, so you wouldn't know how fun my school was, would you? There was even an annoying little poltergeist named Peeves. I wonder if he's still there, at Hogwarts. He used to go into the suits of armor and scream at first years."

"Two people who annoy first years," said Celeste. "Those poor little kids."


	14. Christmas Eve at Grimmauld Place

Back in London, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, and Andrea Potter (Harry's long-lost twin sister) were sitting in Andrea and Hermione's bedroom and talking over the Daily Prophet article (the one that talked about Sirius and Margaret). Andrea was crunching Potato Chips loudly.

Ron, who was Andrea's boyfriend, plunged his hand into the Potato Chips bag and stuffed some chips into his mouth. He bravely attempted to talk with his mouth stuffed so full with food.

"Oh, Ron, that's so gross. Please try to talk after you swallow," Hermione scolded him.

Ron swallowed tremendously. "I said, Sirius didn't even tell us where he was going. He went off as fast as he could to the Bahamas and spent all his time snogging our ex-DADA teacher."

"No, he sent me an owl," Harry contradicted Ron. "Wonder why he's coming back."

"It was probably Winston's idea, Harry," said Andrea, grabbing the bag of chips from Ron, who had been attempting to steal them from her. "I'll bet he's bought us gifts. It is Christmas, guys, and I really want the new 'Weird Sisters' CD this year for Christmas, you know. More rock and roll!"

"Only if you've been a good girl," Ron informed her. "Father Christmas brings bad girls coal."

"Then I guess I'll get coal, then," said Andrea, getting closer to Ron. "Because, boy, am I going to be a bad girl this year." She grabbed Ron's face and she gave him a long, sweet kiss.

When Ron emerged his ears were red but he looked quite happy. Harry secretly envied his sister and Ron for all the kissing they did. He and Hermione just didn't kiss like that. In fact, they had only kissed each other once; and only then because Ron had bashed their heads together (long story). Even though they were at Grimmauld Place for Christmas this year, and Mrs. Weasley had put mistletoe all over the halls so as to make the place look more festive, Hermione had ignored them.

Ron seemed to remember the night only a bit more than a week ago in which he had slammed Harry's lips onto Hermione's. So he attempted to do the same thing again, only this time, just as he had Hermione's hair in his hands and had only succeeded in knocking Harry's glasses off, Mrs. Weasley appeared in the doorway and said, "Ronald, what ARE you doing? Let go of Hermione's hair right now. And, Harry dear, why are your glasses knocked off? Come on downstairs, Sirius is here. Margaret, too."

"Sirius?" said Harry, putting on his glasses. "Here?"

"Yes, dear," said Mrs. Weasley. "Come on, you guys. He's asked to see you. He says he's got something for you all, you know. And Margaret…well, she doesn't have anything for you guys, but she says that she wants to see you all anyway…and I'm making lunch, Ronald, so no more Potato Chips."

"Told ya!" said Andrea. "I knew Sirius would get us presents!" She skipped out of the room and down the long, winding staircase until she got to where Sirius stood, beaming, with Margaret at the door. Andrea charged into the room and threw herself into the arms of Sirius, who said the word of "Oof."

"How was your trip?" said Mrs. Weasley politely as she came into the room, followed by Harry, Hermione, and Ron, who was now brandishing Andrea's crunchy Potato Chips at Hermione and Harry.

"Wonderful," Margaret replied. "Oh, hi, Harry! Ron and Hermione, too?"

"Hello, Professor Winston," said Hermione politely. "How are you doing?"

"Good, very good, Hermione," Margaret replied, smiling warmly at Hermione. "You guys are going to have another DADA teacher this term, though. I don't have time for teaching."

"Why not?" said Ron, who looked fairly disappointed.

"I proposed," said Sirius, who was instantly grabbed by Margaret and kissed passionately. Harry dared not look over at Hermione, who certainly seemed quite astonished at this news.

"I think I know what she said," Andrea informed her godfather, and went over to Ron. "I think I'll copy you right about now, Margaret." She grabbed Ron and kissed him again. Harry saw Ron's ears turn red again, but soon they returned to normal color and the two French-kissed each other.

Sirius laughed at the two of them. "You guys, we're going to open these presents on Christmas Day, which is in one day, as you know…so don't go sneaking into them or anything, all right?"

Ron reluctantly pulled out of the kiss. "Andrea says she's going to be a bad girl this year!"

"Is she?" said Sirius, watching Andrea with a smile tugging at his lips. "Anyway, Andrea, if I'm right, then you only guessed halfway correct. Margaret and I might be getting married. MIGHT."

Harry wondered what exactly Sirius and Margaret had been doing on their vacation. He didn't have much time to think about that, however, because Andrea had just slapped the side of his head. She laughed and pointed to Hermione, who was unknowingly standing under one of the many mistletoes hanging from all things that mistletoe could possibly hang from. Doorways, ceilings, everything. Harry blushed and shoved her off him. "Oh, shut up, Andrea, I have to walk under that mistletoe too, don't I?"

"_You _know you want to," Andrea said in a singsong voice. "And, moreover, _I_ know you want to."

"I do not," said Harry indignantly, but that was a lie. Strangely, when he was able to kiss Hermione, he found that it wasn't that easy to walk under the mistletoe or point it out to Hermione. She would think that he had done it on purpose, which would be correct. Hadn't she liked it when Ron had slammed their heads together, though? Maybe not, thought Harry. He called, "Hermione, over here!"

"Huh?" said Hermione, moving out from under the mistletoe. Andrea rolled her eyes.

"Uhhh…is Ron eating those Potato Chips?" said Harry, pointing to the Potato Chips, which Ron was now neglecting, since he was looking for Andrea, probably to snog her some more. Andrea looked at Harry and rolled her eyes again and went to Ron. Ron looked happy and kissed Andrea, who was running her hands through his red hair. Hermione looked away from their kissing and looked at Harry instead.

"Oh, Harry, I don't think so," said Hermione. "Um…do you want Sirius to get married?"

"Well…yes, if it makes him happy," said Harry. Truly, he thought his godfather would certainly like being married, but he didn't know how much everybody would fuss over a wedding. He looked at Sirius, who was not kissing Margaret anymore, but talking to Mrs. Weasley some more, probably about his wedding, which might not even exist. Margaret was clinging to Sirius's arm, apparently lovesick.

"Well, what I've been thinking is, Margaret might let Andrea and me be bridesmaids," said Hermione. "I just know Andrea would love that, Harry. I don't know what your job would be, though…"

"Uhhh…I think I might just want to watch," said Harry. "_I _couldn't be a bridesmaid."

"Well, of course you couldn't," said Hermione, laughing. "It's Sirius's wedding, too, though. He might want you to do something. We'd have to have a wedding later, though, there's time to decide."

"I don't know," said Harry. Just then, Andrea came by again, pulling Ron's hand.

"Guess what," she said. Ron crunched more Potato Chips. "I'm pretty sure if Margaret and Sirius are engaged, which I think they are, then they'll be able to sleep in the same bedroom."

"_Andrea_!" said Hermione.

"What? They will be!" Andrea laughed. "I'll have to turn on the radio extra loud, so they'll know they can say whatever they want and I won't be listening. I don't think they'll want me to hear." Andrea smiled and looked pointedly at Hermione. "You see, Hermione, you wouldn't listen to them either."

"Why don't you just get a room on a different floor, then?" Harry snapped at his sister.

"Ouuu, somebody needs a nap," Andrea jeered. "Because all my stuff is in my room, Harry, and Hermione shares my room with me, too. And besides, what's wrong with your sleeping arrangements?"

"Nothing!" Harry nearly shouted. "Andrea, that's all you think about. Sleeping arrangements."

"What about sleeping arrangements?" said Ron. "I like being Harry's roommate! He doesn't like when I keep him up, though, with my snoring, do you, Harry? Pretty good sleeping arrangements!"

"What about sleeping arrangements?" said a voice, and the four of them looked around, Ron with some difficulty, since Andrea still had a death grip on his arm to make sure he wouldn't get away. They turned to see Margaret Winston, smiling at them. She looked happier than they had ever seen her.

"Andrea says you and Sirius are going to share a bedroom," Ron blurted.

Margaret sighed rather romantically. "Oh, yes." Then she looked over at Andrea. "How did you know we would be sharing Sirius's bedroom, anyway, Andrea? Sirikins just got home today, you know."

"I know things like this," said Andrea importantly. She did not notice "Sirikins".

Margaret, still smiling, shrugged and left. Sirius, meanwhile, ceased talking with Mrs. Weasley and kissed his maybe-wife-to-be as she passed. Then Mrs. Weasley nodded at him, and he went to where Harry was standing with his friends. Everybody was increasingly hurting Harry by all their kissing, since it seemed, to him, at least, that he was the only one who wasn't kissing besides Hermione. So he caught Sirius and gave him a huge hug just as he was waving hi to them. Sirius ruffled Harry's hair and pulled him away. "I didn't know you missed me that much, Harry. I missed you, though…So how are you guys?"

"Hey, Sirius, did you know Margaret said she was going to share a room with you?" said Andrea.

"Uhhh…no," said Sirius. "I do know we'll be sharing one, though…" And then, "My God, Harry, I've only been gone for a week, why are you so clingy? What's the matter?" since Harry was holding onto Sirius's arm like a five-year-old. He didn't want Sirius's undivided attention to go on Margaret.

"Nothing," Harry muttered. He _could_ have kissed Hermione and been happy, but no…

"Oh, he's just all mad because he can't be a bridesmaid," said Andrea. Harry scowled at her, but didn't let go of Sirius's arm. What was wrong with being clingy, anyway? Andrea rolled her eyes.

"I think he wants my Potato Chips," said Ron. Nobody said anything.


	15. It's Only Six

Celeste was at Snape's doorstep, waiting for him to come to the door. She had already rung the doorbell, and was preparing to do it again when the door opened rather impatiently in her face.

"Lockhart, get out, unless you want this umbrella shoved—Oh, hello, Celeste."

Snape was standing at the front door, brandishing an umbrella in one hand, a rolled-up _Daily Prophet_ in the other. He smiled at Celeste and took her hand. Celeste liked his warmth. She knew he also smelled so nice, like he always did. Snape kissed her hand; she thought she would have a heart attack.

Celeste noticed how he bent down to kiss her hand, not raising it up to his lips. She remembered she had read in a book about romantic tips, in the boys' section: "_Bend down and kiss her hand. DON'T raise her hand to your lips_." Celeste smiled at Snape and wanted to put her head on his chest. She reluctantly let his lips leave her hand, and followed him into his house, where she sank onto his sofa.

"Well, what could I do for you?" said Snape, keeping that gentlemanly personality he saved for people he wanted to be respectful to (not including Harry and his schoolmates, that was for sure).

"You very well know what you could do for me, Severus," said Celeste.

"No, I don't," said Snape, coming to sit next to her on the couch. "Look, Celeste…stop hinting and tell me what you want, what you really want. And you can stay here all night again, if you want."

"You want me to stay here all night, do you?" Celeste questioned him.

"Can you say what I want?" said Snape, dropping his "gentleman" pose and adopting the act he saved for people he really loved. He had a fleeting vision of a very pretty girl locked up in a cell in Azkaban, glaring out the window, her dark curls silhouetted against the magic-resistant bars. Then he remembered a face that similarly lacked happiness: that of Margaret Winston, tears streaming down her rosy cheeks. Both of these women had never really liked him. Admittedly, they both had simply liked Sirius Black instead, which made Snape increasingly more resentful toward his schoolmate.

"No," said Celeste, jolting Snape back to the present. "I know what _I_ want, though. You."

"You're so good to me," whispered Snape into Celeste's hair. "You know I love you, sweetheart…You don't know how wonderful you make me feel. Do you think about me as much?"

"Well, you're in my thoughts, I'm in your bed," Celeste joked. "Which could be happening now."

"You want to sleep over again?" said Snape indifferently. "It's only six."

"So?" said Celeste softly. "Who cares what time it is? Some people go to bed at five. And I don't think I'm going to go and tell Charlene where I am, since she never told me. And it cost her."

"No talking about your roommate," Snape whispered. "You going to change in the closet again?"

"I'll bet I am," Celeste replied. "Why don't we go into bed now? I don't care how late or how early it is in your mind, Severus. In my mind, it's bedtime, and you're going to protest, are you?"

"What do you think? 'Course I'm not."


	16. Kreacher's Cookie

There was really no debate over the Potato Chips. That wasn't really what Harry wanted. He wanted Sirius not to get all mushy about Meg, like she was getting mushy about him, even there wasn't really that much proof that Sirius would do that, and also that Hermione had never _really_ kissed him.

"Umm, yeah, Ron, can I have them?" said Harry. "Uhhh…I'm just hungry."

Andrea, who alone knew this was not the true answer, looked at Harry pointedly with a smug expression as she rolled her eyes once more, but Harry ignored her. He crunched the Potato Chips and thought if he should tell them the truth. And then he realized Andrea would tell Hermione, anyway, that he wanted to kiss her. Even if she had no proof of this, she was razor-sharp at detecting what people were thinking if they were in love. She was going to blab to Hermione. Harry knew she had the right to tell (Hermione was her best friend) but Harry was her brother. She should respect his confidence…

"Harry, we're going to have lunch," said Hermione. "Mrs. Weasley said so."

"Oh, yeah," said Harry. He handed the Potato Chips to Hermione. "Can you go ask her what she's making for lunch, then, Hermione?" He watched her go into the kitchen, and (much to Harry's horror) pass under the mistletoe that hung over the kitchen doorway without even looking at it.

"How are you really?" said Sirius to Harry. "People aren't clingy when they're hungry."

"Well, _I_ am," said Harry, trying to move closer to one of the mistletoes. He sat down on the floor against the wall. Just then, Hermione came back into the room. She looked at everybody.

"Mrs. Weasley says we're having mashed potatoes and peas," she informed them. "That's good. I'm just about starving! Mrs. Weasley cooks so well, too." She laughed and Harry smiled.

"Mashed potatoes and peas," repeated Andrea. "Good." She crossed over to Ron, pulled him under one of the mistletoes, and kissed him again. Ron was always surprised when Andrea did things like that, but they all could tell he liked Andrea so much he didn't care. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Hey, Hermione," said Andrea, after she had finished kissing. "Harry wants to kiss you."

"What?" said Hermione. She looked at Harry, who was listening to Ron talk (probably about how fun it was to be kissing Andrea). "I never knew that. I really never thought that was true, Andrea. Are you really sure about it? We only kissed once, you know, when Sirius put the mistletoe over the common room doorway…I still don't know why he did that. Harry had to kiss that little first year girl, Bridget Sharlas. And then Ron bashed our heads together. I think sometimes Ron just goes sort of…insane…you know? It was all good in the end, though, I guess."

"Do you actually like kissing, though?" said Andrea. Wait until she told Harry this…

"Yes, Andrea," Hermione told her friend. "I just don't do it as much as you do. I sometimes think Sirius and Meg aren't the only ones going to announce their engagement."

Then she left Andrea and walked to Harry. Andrea watched, her grin growing ever wider, as Hermione pulled Harry under the mistletoe. Harry stared at her, but Hermione did a nice impression of Andrea when she was kissing Ron. Harry's ears were red, and he probably was wondering why Hermione was kissing him when she never had before except one time that didn't even count, but he obviously liked it. When they pulled away, Hermione said happily, "Merry Christmas, Harry!"

"What the…" said Harry audibly as she sat against the wall. He smiled and sat next to her.

"So you wanted me to kiss you all along?" said Hermione, sitting next to Harry. "Andrea told me. Well, I just thought…if that was what you wanted, why didn't you just ask?"

"Why didn't you?" said Harry. "That was what you wanted, too, wasn't it?"

"Oh, shut up," said Hermione, but she was smiling. And they kissed again, and so did Andrea to Ron, but that was really no different. Sirius went off to find Meg, who was in the kitchen, evidently trying to sneak some of the Christmas cookies that Mrs. Weasley had made.

"None of those, dear," said Mrs. Weasley reprovingly. "I'm making lunch."

Then there was a loud squeal of, "_Sirikins!_" and Sirius found Meg in his arms, her face tilted up into his, and they were French-kissing. Perhaps better than Andrea and Ron, even, although Andrea's kissing experience was nearly as much as Sirius's, since Sirius had missed out on twelve years of his life. It was a long time before Sirius came up for air. Mrs. Weasley was wiping her eyes.

"Oh, Sirius, you should marry her," she said. Meg nodded emphatically.

"We were close to being engaged when I was in my early twenties," said Sirius. "I think we normally wouldn't have waited twelve years, so we're not going to be waiting any longer."

"Sirius, do you love me?" said Meg, putting her hands on Sirius's shoulders.

"What do you think?" said Sirius, and the two of them resumed their kissing. Just when it was getting good, there was an irritated voice coming from the doorway of the kitchen:

"Kreacher has found Master loves Miss Smith! Marrying filth, he is…filthy half-blood!"

Sirius reluctantly pushed Meg away for a moment. "Kreacher! I'll kill you!"

The house-elf, Kreacher, ran out of the kitchen, sniggering annoyingly. Sirius grabbed him by his loincloth and stared into his round eyes. "If you don't stop interfering on my life, Kreacher, I'll…"

"Master will snog Miss Smith some more?" said Kreacher impudently. "Or maybe they'll…"

"GO AWAY!" said Sirius loudly. He grabbed Kreacher and threw him back into the living room. Kreacher returned and angrily stuck his tongue out at Sirius. Meg thought Sirius wanted to blast Kreacher into oblivion, but Sirius did no such thing. He returned to the kitchen and asked if he could have a cookie. They did look good, after all, but it seemed really random, considering he had been fighting with Kreacher.

"Well, all right, Sirius, but you have to eat some lunch, too," said Mrs. Weasley.

"Sure," said Sirius, and he went back into the living room, where Kreacher was. Meg saw him tap the cookie once with his wand, but she didn't think anybody else did. Then he said to the house-elf, in a cheerful tone of voice that suggested he was trying to be nice, "Hey, Kreacher. Truce?"

Kreacher looked at the cookie being held out to him. "Kreacher just take cookie. No truce."

Sirius, strangely, did not protest. He smiled as Kreacher put the cookie in his mouth, and looked at Sirius suspiciously for a moment, then grinned. Mrs. Weasley's cooking couldn't be beat. Then, amazingly, he broke out in a bad case of hives. Sirius laughed loudly, pointing at Kreacher. He had obviously jinxed the cookie. Meg was laughing hard, and patted Sirius on the back. Her laugh was suddenly silenced by the romantic kiss Sirius gave her next. She ran her fingers through his hair, just like Ron had done to his girlfriend, Andrea. You couldn't argue that Sirius was a good kisser.

"Sirius!" said Hermione reprovingly. She was pulling Harry's hand. "That wasn't nice!"

"Neither is he," said Sirius, pointing at Kreacher. "I couldn't stand him, even when I was younger. He's not at all a good house-elf…I wish I had one more like your friend Dobby, Harry…"

Harry thought of Dobby and smiled. "Maybe I should call him here to relieve you, Sirius."

"Yes, why don't you do that?" Sirius said. Harry called Dobby, who arrived, smiling, and waiting eagerly to obey Harry's every command, like he always was. Kreacher looked at Dobby.

"Harry Potter has called stupid house-elf who obeys stupid Harry Potter," Kreacher muttered.

"YOU DO NOT INSULT HARRY POTTER!" Dobby screamed, and he attempted to wrestle Kreacher, which resulted in an enormous catfight. Sirius and Harry looked at each other and laughed. Hermione rolled her eyes and attempted to split Dobby and Kreacher apart, but it was no use. Finally, Dobby pinned Kreacher for three seconds. Kreacher growled. Sirius pulled Dobby's hand and held it high, like in a real wrestling match, and put his foot on Kreacher's chest. Harry smiled at Dobby.

Mrs. Weasley stepped out of the kitchen. "Guys, it's dinnertime, and—Sirius, what ARE you doing? Get your foot off Kreacher right now. Come on, people, come eat dinner."

Sirius took his foot off Kreacher and let go of Dobby's hand. He left the house-elves to themselves and stepped over to Meg again. "Meg, we are engaged as of now."

"How long did it take you to decide that?" Meg laughed. "Of course I'll marry you, Sirius."

They did their kissing thing again. Harry thought Sirius kissed as much as Andrea did now. Did that mean, just like Andrea had said, that Sirius would be sleeping with Meg now? Harry and Ron's room was near Sirius's, which meant that they could hear what Sirius and Meg were doing…

"Hey, Sirius?" said Harry, pulling on his godfather's arm.

"What?" said Sirius, looking a tiny bit annoyed that he had, once again, to detach himself from Meg, who was going to marry him for sure now. Meg looked rather angry with Harry.

"Just to let you know," said Harry slowly, "tonight, I think I'll close my door. Just to let you know you guys could say whatever you want…uhhh…and…well…I won't be listening to you or anything…"

"Good idea, Harry," said Sirius, smiling, and he kissed Meg once again.


	17. Celeste and the Giant Squids

It was six-thirty and Snape was in his bedroom with Celeste, who was not acting all shyish like she had been last time. She was kissing Snape (but still being careful not to go below his neck).

"Would you get off me?" Snape said, but it didn't sound like he wanted this at all.

"What, so you can get on top of me?" said Celeste. "Missionary position, you know." She laughed and put her arms around Snape, the two of them kissing not exactly what you'd call politely. This time, Celeste's outfit was not so modest as it had been before (the nightgown did have a lower neckline).

"So you DO want to have sexual intercourse, then?" said Snape. "I knew it."

"I didn't say that," said Celeste, getting off him immediately. That was what she had suggested, of course, but had she been acting like it was what she'd wanted? She sighed and said nothing more.

"Oh, come on, you know I didn't mean it, sweetheart," whispered Snape into her hair.

"I know you didn't mean it," Celeste said, fumbling with the covers and turning around to face Snape, who was watching her. She smiled and laughed. "What I was saying is just that if you were to get on top of me, you would probably squish me. And that would be hard to explain, don't you think? _Woman squished by man in bed_. Strange…Anyway, we don't have to do _that_ to love each other."

"Right you are," said Snape. "Are you going to go to sleep, then?"

"Yes," said Celeste, moving closer to Snape. She didn't see why not, since he was warm and smelled like some kind of wonderful flower. They kissed passionately, and finally Celeste felt herself falling asleep. She dreamed she was lost somewhere, somewhere dark and cold and shivery…

"Severus?" she said. "Where did you go?"

There was no answer at first, but finally Snape came running out at her. "Where were you?" he said. "I've been looking all over for you. Come on, you're going to miss breakfast."

"Where's breakfast?" muttered Celeste.

"Downstairs, on the table," said Snape, and they began running toward a little food stand with blinking lights that said, "_Breakfast is Welcome_!" They ran in and saw giant squids, who grabbed them by their hands and put them on plates, muttering about their delicious breakfast.

"Are we supposed to be doing this?" said Celeste. "I didn't know we would _be_ breakfast."

"What do you mean, _be_ breakfast?" said Snape. "It's only five in the morning. You woke me up with all your mumbling and twisting and turning. What is it you were dreaming about?"

"Umm…well…it's really stupid, Severus, but I dreamed we were being eaten by squids."

"Squids, huh?" said Snape, slowly putting his arms around Celeste and caressing her. He laughed quietly, and Celeste felt her skin tingle. "Does that mean I should make squids for breakfast?"

"No, I don't like squids much," said Celeste. Truthfully, she had never had squids, but she tended to spit things out on impulse when she didn't like them, and she really didn't want Snape to see that. So she just lied and said she didn't like squids. "I was thinking more along the lines of breakfast rolls."

"We'll have those, then," said Snape. "It's too early for breakfast now, though."

Celeste was enjoying the feeling of Snape's hands on her. She promptly snuggled up against him, loving the feel of everything. She felt his hands playing with her hair, and sighed happily.

"I love you, Severus," she told him.

"Good," said Snape, taking her hand and caressing her thumb the way she liked. "I love you too, Celeste, and no matter what, I always will. Now are we going to go back to sleep or what?"

"No, let's stay awake a minute," said Celeste, liking today much more than the first time she had spent the night in Snape's bedroom, where she had been so scared she wouldn't even face him. The squids were out of her mind now, even though she knew they weren't a good breakfast food and that Snape had never really considered making them. "How many minutes did we spend like this, then?"

Snape picked up the digital clock that lay by his bed on a little nightstand. "5:15."

"Oh," said Celeste. She looked out the window. They had about one or two hours to go until daylight now and they were still awake. People were supposed to be sleeping at this time. Celeste looked at Snape and wondered how it would be if they actually were married, if they slept together like this every night. Even though marriage seemed so far off to Celeste, she was certainly old enough. And she knew Charlene was going to have to get married soon, and then Celeste would be roommate-less, alone.

"What are you thinking about?" said Snape softly.

"You," said Celeste, in the same mysterious tone Snape had spoken in. She looked at him, wondering what he would say. "I was thinking…I was thinking, what if I got married? To you?"

"To me?" said Snape, smiling. "Well, I'd like that. We've known each other for only for a week and a few days yet, though. Usually married people know each other for a few months, at least."

"I know," said Celeste, searching his eyes. "We have to get to know each other. If we had known each other for a year, though, and we were close, would you want to marry me?"

"Of course I would," said Snape truthfully. "I love you too, you know."

"You said that already," said Celeste. "It doesn't matter, though, because I know you mean it, and I know we would be perfectly happy together. You're mine, Severus, forever and ever." She hugged him, feeling his warmth against her, and sighed. How lucky she was to have him…

"How lucky I am to have you," said Snape, surprising her, and they both laughed.


	18. Eavesdropping

The sun was setting. Andrea looked out her window, watching Sirius and Margaret on their snow walk, around the house. She was waiting for them to kiss. And finally, they did, right under a streetlight, Sirius holding Margaret close to him like she was all he wanted in the world.

Harry was watching from a different window. Half of him was so glad he had sent that letter to Sirius that told him how Margaret was at Hogwarts, and Snape trying to steal her, so Sirius could escape from his dumb cave, get proven innocent and have a happy life with Margaret. The other half of him wished the two of them had never met and Margaret had stayed at Hogwarts with Snape.

"Harry?" said a voice.

"AUGH!" said Harry, looking around and seeing Hermione, staring at him. He smiled weakly. "Don't sneak up on me like that, Hermione, you practically scared the daylights out of me."

Hermione smiled apologetically and walked over to him. "Sirius and Margaret, huh?"

"Yeah," said Harry quietly. "He put on her boots for her."

"You missed him, didn't you?" said Hermione. "I mean, Sirius." She sighed. "Listen, Harry…you've got to pardon him. He just got home from the Bahamas this morning, you know."

"Well, they don't have to act like they're the only two people on earth," Harry snapped.

Hermione opened her mouth to say something, but before she could, they both heard the door open in the hall downstairs and then Sirius laughing and Margaret giggling. Then they heard footsteps on the stairs, ones they could be quite sure belonged to Andrea, because they were going downstairs. Then, so that the guess was confirmed correct, Andrea saying, "You're one good kisser, Sirius."

"Andrea!" said Mrs. Weasley. "How would you _know_?"

"I saw them," replied Andrea unconcernedly. "They were right under a streetlight, you know. Ron's such a bad kisser that I have to tell him what to do. I command everything in this relationship." She laughed as the indignant voice of Ron filled the hall. Harry and Hermione looked at each other and silently decided to go downstairs with everybody else. Ron's voice had stopped. They wondered why until they saw Andrea snogging him under one of the mistletoes. Hermione rolled her eyes at the two of them.

"They're a bit obnoxious," she told Harry. "Don't you think so?"

"Uhhh…yeah, sure," said Harry. They went into the hall and saw Andrea pulling away from Ron for a tiny fraction of a minute, check her watch, and go back to kissing Ron. Harry knew she was seeing when it was bedtime, so she could see if Margaret slept in Sirius's bedroom with him. All too soon, it was bedtime, and all the kids had to go upstairs. Sirius and Margaret, however, stayed downstairs late.

Harry tried to fall asleep but…for one thing, Ron's snoring was keeping him awake, and another thing, he didn't relax until he heard Sirius's footsteps on the stairs. He tried to see if Margaret was there too and, sure enough, he heard her saying something and Sirius saying something funny then Margaret laughing loudly and Ron snoring even louder. Finally, Harry heard the door to Sirius's room shut.

Harry couldn't hear anything from all the way here. He knew Andrea thought Sirius wouldn't want him to listen at the door, and he knew Hermione wouldn't want him to, either, but he thought he had some right to know what they were saying. He went by Sirius's doorway and sat in front of the door.

"Oh, Sirius, I'm so glad I found you again," Margaret was saying.

"Me too, Margaret," said Sirius quietly. "You know, it was Harry who told me where you were then, you know, at Hogwarts. And he said Snape was trying to steal you. Well, I don't know if I'll forgive old Snape so fast for that…did you like him at all? I mean, without the Romance Charm?"

"You're jealous, aren't you?" said Margaret.

"Of Snape? You're insane," Harry heard Sirius say. Then he heard the covers shifting and, judging by the complete silence, he understood that Margaret and Sirius were snogging right behind the door, because they didn't make loud smacking noises like Andrea and Ron did. Every once in a while, though, Harry did hear Margaret sighing happily, and felt himself blushing. Finally, the kissing seemed to stop, judging by how the talking resumed. This time Sirius said he needed a glass of water now.

Harry thought this meant he would conjure one, but he didn't hear Sirius's soft footsteps until it was too late and he had opened the door on the foot of Harry, who quickly stifled a yelp.

Quite obviously, Sirius knew it was Harry behind his door…at least, after he carefully pulled it off Harry's foot and closed the door behind him. Sirius looked at Harry inquiringly. He was wearing a green bathrobe, his hair falling on it handsomely. "What are you doing behind my door, Harry?"

"Nothing," said Harry, blushing. The truthful answer, though, was _eavesdropping_.

"Oh, Harry, did you hear everything we said in there?" said Sirius, reaching out his hand and helping his godson up from the floor. They walked back to Harry's room and sat on his bed. Harry thought Sirius would be very mad at him, so he was surprised when Sirius put his arm around him.

"Aren't you really mad at me?" said Harry.

"'Course not," Sirius said. "I'm not exactly happy with you either, because eavesdropping is not at all a nice thing to do, especially if you're listening at someone's bedroom door, and I think you know that…but it _is_ perfectly normal for you to want to know what was going on behind that door."

"Then," said Harry tentatively, "could you tell me what was?"

"Nothing you wouldn't approve of," Sirius said, grinning. "She doesn't like to rush things, Margaret. I can safely say nothing happened in that room of ours except talking…and kissing."

"Then how come…how come I heard her sighing with pleasure then?"

"Well…I don't know, actually. I guess I just made her happy…" Sirius looked over at the door where his wife-to-be was either waiting for him or possibly asleep. "And, anyway, we mostly did it on vacation since we were probably engaged and then we could…Because we did, at our hotel…"

"Really? Did…did you like it?" said Harry, his face feeling hot at his own words.

"Of course I did," Sirius said, in a gentler tone. "You're _supposed_ to like it, Harry. The only thing is that you can't rush it. Well…you shouldn't, anyway. Just like I said, though, we're supposed to like it, and none of us would even have been born if we didn't. It's really sort of strange to think about."

"They could drug themselves or something. Or they could make their spouses Imperius them to—"

"Enough for tonight," said Sirius, smiling. "You're getting tired. I've got to get a drink, like I said I would, and get back to bed, Margaret will be waiting for me." He stood up and yawned widely.

"No!" said Harry, pulling Sirius's arm. "You know…erm…on vacation…it didn't…it didn't hurt, did it?"

"'Course not. Only my first time was before you were even two years old, and at the first time you could say it's a bit, well, uncomfortable, you know…but that's a long way off for you, don't worry about it."

"Okay…'Night," said Harry.

"Goodnight, Harry," said Sirius, leaving, and only then did Harry realize Ron had stopped snoring a pretty long time ago. Harry turned and looked over at his friend, who was obviously wide awake now. Harry could see Ron's eyes gleaming in the darkness. He wondered if he would say something.

"Were you guys really talking about what I think you were talking about?" said Ron quietly.

"Yes," said Harry uncomfortably. He turned over and tried to sleep, but Ron obviously wanted to discuss this some more with him. _Leave me alone to think, please_, thought Harry.

"He sure does more than he lets on, huh?" said Ron.

"Uh-huh," said Harry tiredly. "Okay, Ron. Here's what happened. I was standing outside his door…and I was…well, I was eavesdropping. He said they weren't…well, you know…and…wait. When did you wake up, anyway? I realized you stopped snoring halfway through our conversation."

"I woke up around the part where he said they did stuff over vacation, actually."

"Oh." Harry sighed. "Well…then you didn't miss much, I guess. He said the same thing all before that part, basically, you know. How old was he, do you think? I mean, at his first time?"

"Sixteen," came Ron's voice.

"Really?" said Harry rather hoarsely. "That's only one year older than me…No, he said he did it before I was two…so I think he was twenty or something. Maybe nineteen, possibly…"

Suddenly, their door came open again. There was Andrea.

"Couldn't help hearing you and Sirius, Harry." She smirked. "Please you guys, Hermione and Ginny and me are trying to sleep and we can't possibly do that with all your blabbing."

"Does anybody else have to find out about this?" Harry groaned. "Just wanted to know a few things and it has to spread all over the house…are you going to tell anymore people, Andrea?"

"Course not," said Andrea, leaving, but Harry and Ron didn't quite believe her.


	19. Charlene's Quiz

Snape and Celeste were eating their breakfast in peace when they heard a knock at the door. When Snape went to answer it, he shouted, "Celeste! Come here! It's your roommate, Charlene!"

"_Charlene_?" said Celeste incredulously. "How…what…" She went to the door, and, sure enough, Charlene was standing there, waving. Celeste waved back with astonished face at her roommate.

"Nice to meet you," said Charlene to Snape. "You must be Severus, right? Celeste tells me all about you all the time. She says you're really sexy." At which point Celeste, who fortunately was wearing a bracelet, purposely dropped her bracelet on the floor and bent to pick it up, so as not to see Snape.

Celeste glared at Charlene, who shrugged as they all sat on Snape's sofa. Snape went into the kitchen to bring them drinks, and that was when Celeste asked Charlene just why she had come here.

"Well, you said you wanted to tell him about what I did, you know," said Charlene. "You said he just might have some suggestions to offer. I could ask his advice and be out of this problem in no time." She looked over at the kitchen where Snape was. "He seems nice. We didn't even have to ask for drinks."

"Anyway, Charlene," said Celeste. "You didn't have to say I thought he was sexy."

"Well, you do, Celeste." Charlene shrugged. "Every time you talk about him, or I talk about him, or we talk about him, your eyes cloud over and I know you're thinking about him." She cocked her head. "Let us do a little test, Celeste. Hey, that rhymes. Anyway…I have to ask you stuff. Question No. 1 is—"

"Wait. What sort of test is this?" said Celeste suspiciously.

"It's a test to see how intimate you two are," Charlene informed her smoothly. "Anyway. Question No. 1 in my quiz is (hey, that rhymes too), what color are his boxer shorts? Or…does he not wear any?"

"Umm…they're black silk," said Celeste, blushing.

"Okay…" said Charlene. She conjured a little slip of paper and wrote, _Question One: Severus wears black silk boxer shorts_. "Question No. 2 is…does he undress in front of you or in the closet?"

"Neither," said Celeste. "I go in the closet and change, and at the same time he's getting dressed in his room, only out of the closet. I wait until he's in bed, but I saw his shorts, anyway…"

"Right," said Charlene, writing _Severus undresses in open while Celeste changes in closet_. "All right, then, let's get on with it. Question No. 3 is, does he wear a bathrobe and if so what color is it?"

"I saw it the first morning we woke up together," said Celeste, remembering. She wondered if all the stuff her boyfriend owned was the color of black. Even his underwear was black, for crying out loud. "He was opening the shades, and he was wearing a black bathrobe. His hair was wet, so I think that he had just taken a shower or something. I think it was silk like his boxer shorts were, but I'm not totally sure."

"Gosh, too much information, Celeste," said Charlene, writing _Severus wears black robe. Silk_? "Don't give such detailed answers. All right then…has he done it with another woman than you before?"

"I don't know!" Celeste yelped. "And we never did it either."

"Chalk one down, then," said Charlene, marking something on her sheet. "Here. You've got five points, and each question was worth two, so it was five out of a possible eight. Subtract one from your score if you've never done one of these things, and give yourself a point if you have. Take this sheet."

Celeste accepted the sheet and the quill from Charlene and starting marking points.

_Has he ever put a flower in your hair_?(no)

_Have you left no part of him un-kissed_? (no again)

_Was there ever any need to shut your door_? (uhhh…yes)

_Have you guys ever done IT_? (no)

_Or have you ever wanted to_?

Celeste paused and thought about this. Finally, she wrote "y" for yes, mostly because she wanted to have more than three points. Then she went on to questions six and seven, slightly wary now.

_Has he ever touched you on the parts where your bathing suit covers_? (no)

_Have you ever touched him on the part where his bathing suit covers_?

"Charlene!" shouted Celeste. "The answer is no, anyway." She chalked up her points and found that she had gotten two out of fourteen points. She sighed. Were they really only one out of seven?

Celeste told Charlene what her score was and felt hot tears sliding down her face. Charlene came to her and hugged her. Celeste was crying on Charlene…when Snape walked in with the drinks.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" said Snape, taking Celeste out of Charlene's arms.

Charlene shoved the quiz at Snape, who read it and looked at Charlene like she was crazy. "Charlene, this isn't the sort of quiz you should have. Know who we should send this thing to, though?"

"Who?" Celeste sniffled.

"Potter," said Snape. "He'll be so amazed to find it. And I'm sure his sister will love it…Andrea was always my favorite out of those four troublemakers…and Miss Granger, too, because she was good at Potions, but the other two were pretty stupid. I'll need to rewrite it though otherwise it'll seem…wrong."

"You mean…Harry Potter?" said Charlene. "And _who's_ Andrea?"

"His twin sister. She's not famous like he is but she certainly has the potential," said Snape. "Unlike Harry who is mediocre to the last degree. I mean, this quiz will really creep him out after I rewrite it."

So the three of them rewrote the quiz so a boy could take it instead of a girl. And then Snape told his owl to give it to Harry Potter at 12 Grimmauld Place, London. His owl blinked and then flew off.

"I wish I could see the look on Potters face when he gets that," said Snape. "I'll bet he gets the lowest score you can get…well, unless he answers number five with Positive…hah…who would…"

"Aren't we doing something mean though?" said Celeste, watching Snape's owl until it flew too far to see, and then looked at her roommate and Snape, who both shook their heads emphatically.

"Definitely not," said Charlene. "It's just a joke."

"Hmm, I think so," said Snape. "I mean, I don't think he'll take it seriously. He'll probably just throw it away or something…" He laughed sourly. "Unless he's stupider than I thought. Maybe."

"I don't know him," said Celeste. "Is he stupid?"

"Well…not stupid…but not really smart either," Snape told her. "His girlfriend named Miss Granger is the smart one. I daresay she's the best in her year, maybe better than some older people too."

"Auror material," said Charlene quietly. Celeste and Snape nodded.


	20. Kreacher Returns

Finally, it was time for breakfast. Andrea found Hermione shaking her and telling her to get up. Ginny was standing in the doorway, waiting for the two of them to get a move on. Hermione was still thinking about what she had overheard in Harry's room last night, so she was sort of slow, and Andrea, who had always thought Harry was sort of stupid (even though he wasn't, but she was his sister), was just tired. Finally, after trudging along for a moment, Ginny impatiently pulled them downstairs by the arms.

"Ouch, don't do that, Ginny," said Andrea. She and Ginny had always gotten along quite well, but Andrea was not in a good mood today. Ginny rolled her eyes and let go of Andrea and Hermione's arms, but only after they had gotten halfway down the stairs. Finally they went into the kitchen. Everybody was down there already, eating their breakfast, which Mrs. Weasley had cooked and it was delicious. Ron waved his arm at the place where he and Harry were sitting and motioned them to come over. Andrea smiled, waved back at Ron, and sat down at the empty chair next to him. Hermione sat next to Andrea, and Ginny sat next to Hermione. They all ate their breakfasts silently until Ron talked.

"Guess what, Andrea dear," he said (that was what he called her). "Do you know what today is?" He was looking at her expectantly, as if waiting for her to explode or something.

"Christmas Eve," Andrea said to her cereal.

"Good job!" Ron said, the expression on his face becoming even more excited by the minute. He had obviously been preparing for this. "And do you know what we should do now?"

"I don't know about Andrea, Ronald, but I do know you should quit pestering her and finish eating your breakfast," said Mrs. Weasley to Ron, who scowled and resumed his breakfast.

"Harry?" said Hermione, leaning across Andrea and Ron.

"What?" Harry replied, not meeting her eyes. Ever since he'd found out she had heard him and Sirius, he had been embarrassed and was keeping quiet. He wished Hermione hadn't talked.

"It's Christmas Eve," said Hermione. "I thought we might go Christmas shopping today."

"Christmas shopping?" said Andrea. "Harry, when you're shopping, get me the new Weird Sisters CD for my present, okay? I've been wanting their new CD just about forever, practically."

"I'm coming too!" Ron yelled. "I'll get you the new CD! Harry, don't get her it!"

"Whatever," said Harry crossly. "I don't really care." He wondered what Hermione would want. Probably some books she didn't already have or something. He didn't really care what Andrea thought of him, not really, because she was his sister, but he decided to let Ron buy the CD instead of him.

"Well…I know what you want for Christmas, Harry," said Andrea, leaning across Ron and Hermione to try and talk to Harry and swallowing a mouthful of cereal. "More Quidditch stuff of course."

"Uh-huh," said Harry, spooning some more cereal into his mouth. "Or some candy would be nice…"

After breakfast that day, they decided to sing some Christmas carols. Ron and Andrea did Ron's favorite one, "Christmas Dinner, Country Style". Margaret and Sirius sang a duet, "Silver Bells". Hermione sang one of her favorite songs, "O Holy Night". Ron and Andrea sang "Christmas Dinner, Country Style" again, after that, since everybody liked it so much and kept shouting for Andrea and Ron to sing it again.

"You sing something Harry!" said Ron, as he and Andrea sat down next to him and Hermione, who was looking at Ron and Andrea as though the only thing they could sing about was dinnertime.

"I don't have anything to sing," said Harry. "I'm not that good at singing, actually."

"Oh, I know, Harry!" said Andrea. "We'll sing Jingle Bells. I'll sing with you, so if you really sing horribly, I can sing with you and nobody will hear you. You know Jingle Bells, don't you Harry?"

"Yes, who doesn't?" said Harry, annoyed, as Andrea pulled his hand and made him go onstage.

They sang Jingle Bells together. Harry, who could never remember himself singing before, found that he wasn't wonderful at singing, but he wasn't bad either. Andrea was very good, like Hermione. Ron said his talent was not singing. Sirius and Margaret sounded the best when they sang together.

"_Good job Harry_!" Hermione mouthed. Harry smiled.

Just then, they heard footsteps (there was one somebody in this house who had not joined in). They all didn't know who it was, at least until Kreacher's ugly face appeared from in the kitchen.

"Kreacher hears singing," said Kreacher irritably. "Kreacher does not like singing at all. Kreacher especially does not like singing when there are Mudbloods in his house. Mudbloods singing even."

"Why don't you shut up Kreacher?" came Sirius's voice (it wasn't an order, so Kreacher didn't actually have to shut up).

"Master tells Kreacher to shut up. Kreacher will not shut up," muttered Kreacher perfectly audibly and in a louder voice (his not-muttering one), said, "Kreacher said nothing. Kreacher is cleaning."

"You haven't cleaned anything in years," said Sirius.

"Don't argue with him Sirius," said Hermione. "He doesn't know what he's saying. It's not his fault if he's sort of strange. Anyway…don't be hard on him, will you? He's just a house-elf you know."

"He knows what he's saying!" said Margaret. "Doesn't he, Sirikins?"

"Course he does, sweetheart," said Sirius as Margaret leaned her head on his shoulder. Her hand was on top of his; Andrea was not surprised to see that her godfather had bought his wife-to-be a diamond. She wondered how much it had cost and also wondered how Sirius even owned that much gold.

"Kreacher hates Master to marry this filthy half-blood," Kreacher muttered. "Blood traitor, he is. Kreacher knows their children will all be brats. If my poor Mistress were alive, oh, how she would cry…"

"Shut up!" said Harry loudly. "_You're_ the brat, Kreacher."

"Harry Potter is insulting Kreacher," said the old house-elf, just as loudly. "Kreacher does not care, he just wants to…" Kreacher broke off and spoke louder. "Kreacher is most sorry to upset you, Sir…"

"Well, you upset me every time I look at you, Kreacher," said Sirius. Harry, Ron, and Andrea laughed, and so did Margaret. Hermione shot Sirius a reproachful look. She got up and walked to Kreacher.

"Oh, my, the Mudblood is walking to Kreacher," said Kreacher rather worriedly. Hermione just smiled and went into the kitchen where there was some Christmas cookies that Mrs. Weasley had just baked. Then she returned into the hall where Kreacher was standing, and she handed him the hot cookie.

"Kreacher is suspicious about the Mudblood giving him a cookie," said Kreacher.

"Don't worry Kreacher," said Hermione kindly. "I didn't jinx it, like Sirius did." She handed him the cookie and smiled again, more widely. Kreacher glared at her and took a tentative bite of that cookie.

"Kreacher is not breaking out in hives," said Kreacher. Then he gasped. "Kreacher has just accepted a bit of food from the Mudblood! Oh, my mistress, her own house-elf, eating Mudblood food!" Kreacher then got to a wall, where he banged his head on it. Hermione rushed over and tried to stop him.

"No use, Hermione, he's done that ever since I can remember," said Sirius happily.

"You really hate him don't you?" said Hermione, hands on her hips. "Can't you be nice to him? He's just a poor little house-elf…" She ran over and hugged Kreacher, who looked horrified and tried to squirm away from her touch. Sirius rolled his eyes as Kreacher escaped from Hermione and ran away fast.

"Where did he go?" said Hermione, looking around.

"Behind you," Andrea replied, and Hermione shrieked as Kreacher came up behind her and then ran into the crowd, making them all run away. Kreacher ran away triumphantly after that, as though to say, "My work here is done, thanks." Nobody sang anymore Christmas Carols after that though.

Harry went to his room and was sitting on his bed when Sirius came into his room holding a slip of paper in his hand, looking thoroughly confused. He handed it over to Harry, who gasped rather loudly.

"I know," said Sirius. "I'm sorry I read your mail, Harry. I got eleven out of fourteen, though…"

"What does it say?" said Harry, looking at the letter. Across the top it said, "_Just How Intimate Are You and Your Girlfriend? Find Out In This Quiz_." He read over whole thing and was blushing tremendously by the end of it, but he said, "Well, anyway, I'm going to take this anyway and see what my score is."


	21. Suggestions and Answers

"What if he knows where we got that letter?" said Celeste worriedly.

"He can't. There's no return address. It's not even in an envelope," said Charlene nonchalantly. Then she looked out the window, as though hoping to still see Snape's owl, then looked back at Snape again.

"And I put a jinx on it," said Snape. "If anybody or anything touches that letter besides my owl before it arrives at Grimmauld Place then it will burst into real flames that won't destroy the letter."

"They will destroy the letter thieves' hands though," said Celeste, wondering whether to laugh.

"Hmm…Yes…if they don't let go of it!" said Charlene. "Anyway…the reason I disturbed you two and your time together is, I have something to ask you, Severus. I wanted to ask your advice here."

"Really?" said Snape.

"Sure she does," said Celeste. She looked at Charlene questioningly, and Charlene nodded. "She wants to ask you what you would do if you got pregnant when you weren't married or engaged."

"What would YOU do, I mean?" said Charlene.

"That couldn't happen to me, if you're forgetting," said Snape. "If I was a woman though and I got myself in that situation I would have a baby but I would put it up for adoption. Because if I wasn't married and I wasn't engaged either, I probably wouldn't be prepared to have children yet, you know?"

"Oh, of course," said Celeste. "See, I told you he was smart, Charlene."

"You said no such thing," said Charlene, smiling at Celeste. "I heard you say he was sexy a lot more than once though!" She laughed. "Anyway what do you say Severus?" She turned to look at him.

"I just told you what I said," Snape told them. "So…is this hypothetical or not?"

"No, it isn't," said Celeste. "I think you had a good suggestion, anyway…See, they don't really know what to do with it, and Charlene says her boyfriend named Jim is more worried than she is, you know."

"Jim and I are going to get married," Charlene informed them dreamily.

"I see," said Snape. "And you decided this after you got pregnant? So it was sort of because you had to get married now, not because you two loved each other?" At the incredulous look on Charlene's face, he added, "Of course, you do love each other, but that's not really why you got married, was it?"

"First of all, Jim and I aren't married yet, Severus," said Charlene, obviously offended. "And do you know that we love each other much more, way much more, than I think you care to imagine?"

"I—when did I say—" said Snape, but it was too late. Charlene was shouting now.

"YOU DON'T EVEN CARE DO YOU?" she yelled in his face. "DON'T YOU INSULT JIM AND I AGAIN OR YOU AND I SHALL NEVER, EVER, _EVER_ SPEAK AGAIN!"

Then, before anybody could say anything more, she crossed to the door and ran out, slamming it behind her with a slam that rattled the pots and pans on the stove, not to mention the walls, too.


	22. The Quiz In Different Hands

"You're going to take that quiz?" said Sirius incredulously.

"Well, you did, didn't you?" said Harry, grinning, and Sirius pretended to look angry. "Umm…let's see…so the first question…Here, I'm going to read them out loud, okay? First question…my God…"

Sirius sat down next to Harry and said, rather unhelpfully, "I got full points on that one."

"What color is her underwear?" said Harry, looking at the quiz in his hands. "Who wrote this dumb thing, anyway? I'll bet it was Andrea…but I don't know what color it is, so I'll give myself zero. Great."

"That's what most people your age should have gotten," said Sirius soothingly.

"Question 2: Does she undress in front of me or in the closet?" said Harry. "Okay…zero again…my God, how did you get eleven? I said zero because we don't sleep in the same room. And you'd think this quiz was for older people, Sirius, but it was addressed to me, so it must _not_ be for older people."

"Right," said Sirius absently as he looked at the quiz. "Question 3: Does she wear a bathrobe, and if so, what color is it? Well, you would know that one, she comes in your room in the morning…"

"Uh-huh, it's orange, sort of," said Harry. "She comes in the morning, though, so one point…Question 4 is, has she ever done it with another boy than you before?" Harry blushed again. "What do they mean, 'other than me'? I swear I never did anything, she only comes in my room in the morning, anyway—"

"I know, I know," said Sirius consolingly. "Anyway…this is the points thing."

"Okay…" said Harry. "Question 1: Have you put a flower in her hair? Er, no, back down to zero…Have you left no part of her un-kissed? No…and I'm actually in the negatives…Question 3: Has there ever been any need to shut your door? Negative two, since we don't even sleep in the same room, even…Question 4 asks me, have you two ever done IT? No! Negative 3…and have I ever wanted to? Well…"

"You don't have to answer that one, we'll make it out of thirteen, not fourteen," Sirius told him.

"Thanks," said Harry. "Okay…and those last two make my score negative 5. Negative 5…" he said, leaning into Sirius, who hugged him and muttered things like, that quiz was utter nonsense, and negative 5 out of thirteen meant nothing, it was just some dumb thing he'd gotten in the mail, stuff like that.

"Easy for you to say, you got eleven," said Harry. His nose felt clogged.

"Well, that's just because I'm older," Sirius said patiently. "I'm sure when you get to be older and you're dating more seriously, you'll have a higher score. Trust me. And whatever some stupid quiz you got in the mail tells you, it doesn't matter because you should never do anything before you're ready."

Harry gave a watery smile and threw the quiz out the door.



Half an hour later, Andrea was walking up the stairs. Sirius and Harry had gone downstairs not long ago, and now she was coming up here to see if there was anything interesting to do (because, of course, all the presents had been wrapped, all the decorating finished). She was about to go into her room to just look at some old magazines of hers or something, when she nearly tripped on Harry's discarded quiz.

"What the…" she said, picking it up.

She looked at the whole thing and grinned. "I can't believe Harry took this quiz…I'll bet he got negative 7 or something, that's the lowest score you can get…I could turn this into a quiz in female version…then I could see how my score compares with what Harry got…but I wish I knew…"

Muttering to herself like this, she went into her room and changed the quiz around so she could see how she and Ron were doing. When she thought of how Harry must have been when he saw these questions, she had to put her fingers in her mouth to stop herself sniggering. This was stupid…

"Question 1: What color is his underwear? He told me it's just plain white, but he told me, so that's only one point, I guess…I'm doing pretty good." Andrea smiled to herself. "Question 2: And does he undress in front of me or in the closet? I still only have one point, because we don't sleep in the same room…Okay, onto the next question…the third one…does he wear a bathrobe and what color is it?"

"I know this one!" Andrea screamed. "It's maroon…ew…"

So she went on to the next question, giving herself two points for the third one (since he came into her room like nearly every night) and went to Question 4. She gave herself one point for that one, since she wasn't completely sure but she highly doubted it. She had four points out of a possible eight.

"Now for the deduction or adding of points," said Andrea. "Well, I changed it, so…Question 1: Has he ever put a flower in my ear? No, so now I've got three points, thanks Ron…Question 2: Have you left no part of him un-kissed? Well, no, so now I have two points…Question 3: Has there ever been any need to shut your door? Well…we kiss pretty loudly, and if somebody was trying to sleep…so I might give myself a half point, maybe…two and a half is my score…Question 4: Have you two ever done IT? No, so my score is one and a half, and have I ever wanted to? Well…sort of, so my score can be two, another half point, and those last two, we don't touch each other like _that_ yet, gross. Time to add up my score…"

Andrea realized her score was _zero_. Her score was actually zero. She couldn't believe it. She sat on her bed, face in her hands, wondering if her brother had gotten lower than she had. Or maybe he had fudged and gotten something really high…the most he could have gotten was fourteen, after all…

"Andrea? It's lunchtime," said Meg, coming in. "Andrea, sweetheart?"

"Look at this!" Andrea yelled, shoving the quiz toward Meg, who looked it over and sighed.

"How did you get this dumb thing?" she asked. Then she noticed Harry's name on it and said, "Oh it was for Harry? Well, I should go and give it to him, then."

"No, I think he already took it, Meg," said Andrea sadly. "Why else would it be in the hall? Unless he thought it was rubbish and trashed it…but I think he's dumb enough to take it. Like me."

Meg smiled. "I know it's not nice of me to ask what you got, but just out of curiosity…"

"It's okay," said Andrea. "I got zero." She knew she wasn't going to cry, but Meg came over to her anyway and hugged her tightly, just like the compassionate older sister Andrea had never had.

"So you say you found this in the hall?" said Meg. "Maybe we should give it back to Harry, you know, because it belongs to him and I don't see any sign on this quiz that he already took it. Come on, Andrea, if you want you can come down with me." She smiled, clutching Harry's old quiz in her hand.

"No…but thanks, Meg," said Andrea, smiling. Meg returned her smile and went downstairs. She found Harry sitting on the couch and eating Potato Chips. She called him and he started, but then realized it was only Meg. He waved and offered her one of his Potato Chips but Meg said no.

"No thanks Harry," she said, smiling. She sat down next to him and showed him the quiz. "Have you ever seen this quiz before, and if so, have you taken it? Because it has your name on it, you know."

Harry's face darkened at the sight of that dumb quiz. "Yes, but don't ask me my score."

"You got zero, did you?" said Meg, looking at him sympathetically. Harry looked at her closely and decided she didn't know you could even be in the negatives. Maybe he wouldn't tell her anything.

"I said, don't ask me my score, thanks," said Harry.

"Well, all right, then what do you want me to do with this?" said Meg. "How about I trash it, and then you'll never have to see it again, okay sweetheart?" She kissed Harry and then left him alone.

Harry stared ahead for a few moments, touching the burning place on his cheek where Meg's lips had been moments before. Then he heard a loud cracking noise from the kitchen, and Sirius emerged from it, looking disgruntled. "Harry! Harry…come on! You can help Molly and me bake Christmas cookies."

"Good idea, Sirius," said Harry, still sort of dazed, even though the loud crack had mostly woken him up, but not completely. "Just as long as the oven doesn't explode or something, then it's fine with me."

"Oh, hello, Harry," said Mrs. Weasley, waving to Harry as he and Sirius walked in. "Lunch soon. I'm making these cookies because we're having guests. Gilderoy Lockhart and Celeste Grimmauld…oh, yeah, and I hope you don't mind, Sirius, we'll be having Professor Snape over too, actually. I'm going to send him the invitation, and ask him to invite Celeste and Gilderoy, you know, to save paper."

Sirius and Harry looked at each other darkly. Lunch would be a rotten affair with Snape.


	23. An Invitation

Just as soon as Charlene had stomped out the door, the doorbell rang again. Snape sighed angrily and went to the door, and Celeste followed. They were both surprised to see Lockhart standing there.

"I just wanted to see my best buddy again," said Lockhart sadly, but then the big smile reappeared on his face almost instantly, and he pointed to Charlene, who could be seen storming down the path. "That's one angry lady you got there, Severus. Well, anyway, I came because I just wanted to see if you wanted to…ya know, _hang_."

"Well, the answer is n—" said Snape, but Celeste stopped him.

"No, let him stay, Severus," said Celeste. "After all, he says you're his best buddy. That must mean you're not only a wonderful boyfriend to me, you're also a wonderful friend to Gilderoy Lockhart, too."

"I'm sure it does," said Snape in bored voice, and he beckoned Lockhart inside.

Just as soon as Lockhart was coming in and about to wipe his feet on the black doormat, an owl came up behind his head. Celeste was about to warn him, but Snape shook his head and sniggered.

"AUGH!!!" screamed Lockhart, as the owl sunk its claws into his head. "Severus…is this your owl?"

"No, Lockhart, it's not my owl," said Snape through gritted teeth. "I daresay if it had been my owl, I would have trained it to sink its claws into your stupid head EVERY time, thank you very much."

"Oh, thank you, Severus," said Lockhart admiringly. "I need constructive criticism!"

"That wasn't very nice, you know," said Celeste to Snape, as she and him followed Lockhart into Snape's living room. All three of them sat on his sofa. Lockhart got the letter from the owl, which flew away. Then he handed it to Snape, who opened it and rolled his eyes again as soon as he saw the letter. He read it out loud and almost laughed at the chance he would actually do something stupid like that.

Dear Severus,

We want to invite you to our Christmas Eve lunch and you are welcome to come. Please bring your friends Celeste Grimmauld and Gilderoy Lockhart with you. And you three can all stay for dinner, too, if you want. I hope you guys can come! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all of you!

Molly Weasley

"Does she actually think I'm going to be coming?" said Snape angrily.

"Oh, come on, Severus," said Celeste. "She sounds like a nice person, and I'm going, whether you decide to go or not. I don't know anybody there except you, either. Come on, please come!"

"Fine then," said Snape irritably. "Are you coming, Lockhart?"

"Call me Gilderoy," said Lockhart. "And, yes, I'm coming! Of course I'm coming! I love Christmas parties, because they're so fun! And didn't you say once that Mrs. Weasley was a good cook?"

"Well…yes…"

"Please, please, please, Severus?" said Celeste imploringly. "I don't know anybody there! It'll be so fun if you and I can roast marshmallows with everybody else in front of a fire. And they'll have put up mistletoe, and we might be able to catch ourselves under some of it, you know?" She laughed.

"I said I would come," said Snape furiously, even though the mistletoe sounded quite appealing.

"Well, there's no time to waste!" Lockhart screamed jubilantly. "She said Christmas Eve lunch, so I think she means today! And now it's about lunchtime, so let's go, go, go! C'mon! Wheeee!"

"Lockhart, please." Snape grabbed both Celeste's and Lockhart's hands and sighed. "Let's go."


	24. Telephone at Lunch

An hour and a half after the invitation had been sent, the doorbell rang. Meg went to answer the door and there they stood: Snape, looking like he really hadn't wanted to come at all; Celeste, who was looking excited and happy but nervous; and Lockhart, who was beaming stupidly at everybody.

"Meg?" said Lockhart, amazed. He reached out and hugged her tightly.

"Uhhh…hi there Lockhart," said Meg awkwardly. "Oh…and Snape, too?" She blushed when she got to him, because it was him who had put a Romance Charm on her earlier that year. "And…well, I've never met you before, but you must be Celeste Grimmauld. Hi, my name's Meg Smith."

"Hi," said Celeste. Lockhart had let go of Meg, but Snape just stood there glowering. Meg sighed, shrugged, and beckoned them all in. Celeste sped up so she could walk with Meg.

"Are you and Severus friends?" she asked tentatively.

"Hardly," said Meg sadly. "He put a Romance Charm on me, like, three weeks ago or something like that, but…well, I don't want to get into the whole story, but it was just so embarrassing…"

"Why? What happened?" said Celeste eagerly.

"It was broken by my true love," said Meg, her voice adopting that dreamy tone it always did when she talked about Sirius. "And he didn't take it so well. They don't like each other, see…"

"Who's your true love?" said Celeste. "I can meet him?"

"Uhhh…sure." Meg shrugged and went into the kitchen, where Sirius was sitting, an apprehensive look on his face. Moments later, Snape and Lockhart followed. Snape took a seat as far away from Sirius as he could but they were still glaring at each other. They looked like they would much like to duel but they simply weren't allowed.

"Hi there!" Celeste said, going up to Sirius and shaking his hand. "My name's Celeste Grimmauld. And this here is Severus Snape (you know him) and Gilderoy Lockhart, everybody knows him, I think."

"Sirius Black," said Sirius, looking faintly amused at Celeste's eagerness.

Lockhart jumped and ran over to Sirius. "Sirius, mate!" he said, squeezing him. "Guess what. I found your wife, and I hugged her, and Snape looked mad at her…I think Snape doesn't like you, Sirius."

"Yeah, and I think I don't like Snape," said Sirius. "Where did Meg go, anyway?"

"Ooohhh…do you mean your WIFE?" said Lockhart. "You two are so cute together. I wish I had somebody who loved me a lot. I don't…Sirius, why does Meg like you and not like me?"

"First of all…she's not my wife, she's my wife-to-_be_," said Sirius to Lockhart. "And second of all…I think she thinks you're a bit dim…Where have you been, anyway?"

"Just in my house, eating chocolate," said Lockhart stupidly. "I like chocolate."

"Uhhh…yeah…" said Sirius. "I like chocolate too…Anyway, did you just say you thought Meg and me looked so cute together?" He looked down the hall, wishing she would come.

"Uh-huh," said Lockhart. "She is so pretty and she makes you look good."

"What the…hey!" said Sirius angrily as Lockhart stuck his tongue out at him. He ran away before Sirius, who shook his head sadly, could do anything about Lockhart's unexpected insult. He was not really that offended, though, because he knew Lockhart was really dumb and just jealous.

"They're all going to be fighting," said a voice—one that turned out to belong to Andrea.

"I know. I don't like Snape, Snape doesn't like me, I'm not sure I'm going to like Celeste, Meg might not like her, Snape doesn't like Meg, Meg doesn't like Snape, Lockhart is really mad at me, I'm thinking Lockhart is a nutter, and there are other assorted problems, too, I'm sure."

"Well, let's just hope a food fight doesn't break out, then," said Andrea.

"I hope not, all that cooking for nothing," said Meg, coming into the room again and sitting down very close to Sirius. They didn't kiss at the dinner table but it looked like they wanted to.

Andrea and Ron, of course, were a different story. They always kissed during dinner. Nobody much cared, though, because they thought it was so cute to see teenagers acting like adults. Meg and Sirius were not as outgoing with their kissing, probably because it wasn't so new to them anymore.

"Let's play a game," said Celeste unexpectedly. "Telephone!"

"Yeah!" screamed Lockhart loudly, looking around at everybody at the table and seeing if they wanted to start telephone. Nobody seemed to want to. "We'll start with…umm…Meg Smith!"

"No, I think we should start with Sirikins," said Meg dreamily.

"Okay, I'll start," said Sirius, whispering something to Meg (since she was sitting next to him), who squealed and slapped him lightly. Finally, the message ended with Snape, who was shaking slightly and glaring at Sirius, who was sniggering with his hand over his mouth, and so were most others.

"Fine, I'll say it," said Snape, whose face was getting even redder every minute. Andrea sniggered loudly, and Hermione choked into her drink. "The message was, 'Snivellus the Slug' wets the bed."

"It didn't change at all," said Sirius loudly. "Yeah, 'Snivellus the Slug' wets the bed." This claimed more sniggers from Meg, since "Snivellus the Slug" was Snape's old nickname with the Marauders.

"Did you really wet the bed?" said Celeste, surprised.

"None of your business," Snape said angrily, but his face was red like a tomato by now. The last person he wanted finding out that he wet the bed when he was younger was Celeste, and the last person he wanted telling her so was Sirius. He put his head in his hands and did not talk for the rest of lunch.

Everybody said the dinner was fabulous, because it was. The food, that is. Some of them, like Sirius most of all, had enjoyed playing telephone (some of the other messages were "Celeste dates a creep" and "You rule as long as you're not Snape or something"), but Celeste finally made them stop playing.

"It's not nice to insult people," she said, watching Snape, whose face was in his pudding.

"Well, he insults a lot of people, it shouldn't be a problem if he tastes his own medicine for once," Sirius said, glaring at Snape, who took his face out of his pudding and glared right back. Before he knew what he was doing, he took some of it in his hand and threw it at Sirius. Unfortunately, he was a very bad shot, so instead of smacking Sirius in the face the pudding hit a vase instead, and you could certainly imagine what happened after that. The vase broke and shattered all over the floor. Meg gasped. Sirius didn't actually care about that vase, but Kreacher did, and the noise got the house-elf's attention.

"Mistress's vase!" Kreacher screamed in anguish. "Who broke it? Which one of you scum was it?"

"It was old Snape there," said Sirius, pointing, and Kreacher ran to attack Snape, but not before he had broken into angry tears. Hermione looked horrified and went to comfort the elf immediately.

"GET YOUR DIRTY HANDS OFF ME, MUDBLOOD!" Kreacher squealed.

"DON'T _CALL_ HER THAT!" Harry yelled, and then everybody else basically started shouting too, and then the portrait in the hall woke up and started screaming. Finally a voice shouted: "QUIET!!!"


	25. When Dinner Parties Are Disastrous

Nobody even listened. They kept on chucking food at the people they hated and occasionally missing except for Snape who always missed. Sirius had been a Beater for Quidditch in his school days and he also was a very good shot anyway, so all of his pudding ended up splattering on Snape's face (except for the pudding he ate, of course). Snape finally gave up on trying to throw his pudding after that, though.

The voice shouted again: "QUIET!!!"

It turned out to be Hermione's. She was holding back Kreacher, who was pulling Snape's hair. "Now, let go of Snape's hair, and let him go, Kreacher, it's not nice to pull people's hair, even if—"

"No, let him, Hermione," said Sirius, who was evidently enjoying seeing Snape's hair pulled.

"Sirius—" she began, but she had to laugh when Snape tried to kick Kreacher's foot but missed as the little elf jumped nimbly out of the way. "Well, all right, but just don't hurt him, Kreacher, okay?"'

Kreacher's only response was another smack at Snape.

"Get—off—me—Ouch!" yelled Snape, since Kreacher had just pulled extra-hard on his hair. Finally he managed to kick Kreacher away and walk up to Sirius, who glared. Snape glared right back.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" said Sirius calmly but there was some coolness behind his words as he looked at his enemy. "Maybe if I liked you better I wouldn't tell you how you're so ugly…"

"ARE YOU SAYING I'M UGLY?" shouted Snape.

"Why, yes, I suppose I am…" said Sirius happily, dodging Snape's fist; the Potionsmaster's other fist was balled up in his pocket where his wand probably was. "Well, no, not unless you count my saying you're so ugly, you'd scare Frankenstein right out the window…At least his nose isn't a cucumber-shaped–"

"Shut UP!" said Snape, and this time he had his wand out; pointing it right at Sirius's face, he obviously let loose a trip jinx or something, because Sirius fell backwards then. Meg made an angry noise, went to the place where Sirius and Snape had been fighting, and slapped Snape right on his face.

"Meg—" said Snape, but she just slapped him again and Sirius got up, smiling.

"If your stupid wife-to-be wasn't going to slap me a third time, I could say you're still the stupid, insulting poop-face you always were and always will be and—MEG, IF YOU SLAP ME ONE MORE TIME, I SWEAR I WILL JINX YOU! I'M ONLY TELLING BLACK THE TRUTH!"

"If you jinx her, I'll jinx you till you're reduced to a single-cell life form," Sirius growled at him.

"Don't you dare," said Snape, lighting his wand and holding it up to his face for a dramatic effect. "If you lay so much as a finger on me…" He lowered his voice to a whisper. "I'll tell on you."

"There's nothing to tell about."

"Yes, there is," said Snape sinisterly. "There's nothing to stop me from telling where you're hiding. I can tell the Ministry, and they'll send you back to the dementors and I'll finally be happy again."

"You wouldn't," said Sirius quietly.

"I would," said Snape, smiling evilly and extinguishing his wandlight. "What's to stop me? Nothing, that's what, except you, and you know perfectly well they're never going to listen to you."

"There is something to stop you," said Meg angrily. "Me! Did you just tell him you would be _happy_ if somebody handed him back to the dementors? What sort of creep are you, Snape?" She had her own wand out and pointed it at Snape, who put his hand on her shoulder and pushed her away.

"You get off her!" said Sirius, pushing Snape hard.

"Then why don't YOU get off ME?" Snape yelled. "I'm tired of her calling me a creep, tired of you informing me on how ugly I am, tired of you throwing pudding at me and getting me EVERY SINGLE TIME—"

He said a swearword and Celeste piped up, "Severus, really, I wouldn't have expected it of you!"

"Then you obviously don't know him very well," said Sirius, turning to her. "What, has he been acting nice around you or something? I think you should get to know him a little better, Celeste."

"I do know him!" Celeste shouted in his face. "What sort of horrible person are you, Black? What have you done to Severus to make him hate you so? I know what you did when you were in school, you tripped first years and laughed when they cried, with your stupid friends and everything…"

"Tripping first years?" said Sirius. "I didn't—I never—"

"No, he would _never_!" Meg nearly screamed at Celeste. "What kinds of lies are you making up about him, anyway? I happened to know those four when I was in school, and they never tripped anybody or did anything bad like that, one of them was a _prefect_, for goodness sake! Lies, they are!"

She leaned into Sirius, who stroked her hair and glared at the pair of Snape and Celeste. "She's absolutely right, Celeste, you're lying. We might have been a bit annoying, but—but that's like _Slytherins_! You must have got us confused with—with Snape! You told her those lies, didn't you, Snape?"

Snape seemed to be caught then, because it had been him indeed who had told Celeste how Sirius and his three best friends had gone around school "tripping first years and sniggering". He scowled. "Well, I might have told Celeste those things, but I'm sure you've told Meg some bad stuff about me?" He looked at the pair of them angrily. "Or do you guys not talk, is it all snogging like I've seen—"

"I sure do tell her bad stuff about you," said Sirius viciously. "Never _lies_, though!"

"Severus, you were lying?" Celeste whispered. "I can't believe it…I just can't believe it…I know you two don't get along well, but I didn't think you would make up lies. It's below you."

"No, it's not," said Sirius angrily.

"You shut up," said Celeste…and clapped her hands over her mouth. "Sorry…I just…well, this dinner party or lunch party or whatever it's supposed to be, it's—it's not fun. It ought to have been fun. Everybody's fighting and yelling and Severus and Sirius Black are fighting and throwing stuff and—"

"Hey," said Lockhart, wandering out of the kitchen and smiling at everybody. "I heard a big old noise in this kitchen and I thought, I should be in the kitchen! Because there is chocolate here, in the kitchen, for me, and I want the chocolate in the kitchen and the chocolate in the kitchen is delicious and JUST GET ME SOME CHOCOLATE WILL YOU?" Lockhart laughed. "That was my impression of Severus."

"I don't like chocolate," said Snape meanly.

"Well you yell a lot so that makes up for you hating chocolate," said Lockhart sadly. "And you should like chocolate, anyway, because it's good for your heart. Vegetables make you fat you know."

"You idiot, they don't!" said Snape. "Actually, chocolate is supposed to make you fat. Vegetables are the stuff you have to eat…too bad you can't use them in potion-making or something…"

"This isn't what we were arguing about in the first place, anyway," said Sirius loudly. "It's not about what makes you fat or what doesn't" ("Phew," sighed Meg, who had been alarmed when Lockhart said the vegetables make you fat) "it's about the fact that Snape said bad lies about me with no reason."

"Not no reason!" said Snape. "I'm just cleverer than you are. If you'd thought of lying about me, I know you would've done it first. Nope…you were just too stupid to make up lies."

"Why?" asked Sirius, mock-sweetly. "Why in the world would I lie about you?"

"Obviously, so your wife-to-be" ("That's right," said Meg) "wouldn't go after me," said Snape, with an air of self-satisfaction. "Yup. You obviously thought she was getting a bit detached from you" ("I would never!" said Meg) "and then you told her lies about me so she'd like you better."

"First of all," said Sirius angrily, "I never told her lies about you at all, and secondly—"

"Right!" shouted Snape, just as furiously. "She's so smitten with you, she can't even get her mind off you long enough to register that I would obviously be a better husband than you, Black."

"I don't care!" shouted Meg. "I know you can't be a better husband than he is! I don't even know how you treat your women, considering I was under a Romance Charm all the time I let you be romantic with me, so I don't really remember anything. You know how I know you couldn't be better?"

"How?" Snape said, looking angry.

"Because nobody could be better than my Sirikins," said Meg rather romantically, going to Sirius and attaching to him like she did. "Compared to him, Snape, you're just a stupid, dumb–"

"SEE?" roared Snape. "HE'S TURNED YOU AGAINST ME!"

"What does it even matter to you, Severus?" said Celeste, coming. She could hardly see for the tears now clouding up her brown eyes. She was also having difficulty speaking. She was as obsessed with Snape nearly as much as Meg was with Sirius (and that was really saying something). "I thought you were over her. I thought you loved me now. I thought—I thought you wouldn't mind Black…"

"It doesn't matter to me at all, sweetheart," said Snape, seeing Celeste crying.

"Really?" said Celeste, hugging him sweetly. "You're so good to me Severus…as for you, Black, I just don't see how someone wonderful as Severus…could be _bad_." And they kissed right there.


	26. The End of the Dinner Party

"We can do better than _she_ can, Sirikins," said Meg dreamily.

"Oh yes we can," said Sirius, and he pulled his wife-to-be, Meg, into one of his best kisses—and she continued it. Celeste and Snape pulled away from each other finally, watching Meg kissing Sirius so romantically, Andrea was looking in awe and Hermione was actually nearly crying.

Kreacher was standing there too but everybody had forgotten about him. At the sight of his "Master" who was kissing someone not pureblood made him so mad that he tried pulling them apart.

"No, Kreacher!" Andrea yelled, grabbing the elf by his loincloth and making him stop.

"Get off, you!" screamed Kreacher, equally loudly. "Stupid girl, you are. Kreacher must hit you." And he did. Mostly though he just pulled on Andrea's pigtails, until she had to kick him away.

Meg had detached herself from Sirius, and she came over to Andrea and Kreacher, who were biting and kicking (but not really biting) each other. She held them apart at arm's length and Andrea stopped trying to get Kreacher and stood there with her hands on her hips. Kreacher glared at Meg until she let him go, but then she told him to go into the kitchen and stop bothering everybody.

"Kreacher does not have to listen to stupid Miss Smith," said Kreacher impudently. "He only has to obey his stupid Master. Even though he doesn't like to, but he has to, poor Kreacher…"

"Sirius!" called Meg.

"What?"

"Tell this God-forsaken house-elf that he has to go into the kitchen and stop bothering us!" Meg said, as she tried to hold Kreacher off her. Sirius came over and pulled Kreacher away from her. Kreacher was looking very angry with him, but he went into the kitchen and didn't bother anybody anymore when Sirius told him not to. Meg spoke again. "Thanks for that, Sirius, he only listens to you…"

"Only because he has to, sweetheart," said Sirius, and Meg put her arms around him.

Meanwhile, the pair of them (Snape and Celeste) were still home. Snape glared at Sirius kissing Meg and said to Celeste, "Come on, let's leave…Isn't he such a prat? Black, I mean?"

"No…he seems pretty nice," said Celeste, watching Sirius, who was looking toward the doorway of the kitchen where Kreacher was lurking. "Not at all like I thought he would be. You know, I thought he would be rude and all, but he's actually quite nice, like I said. Why do you hate him so?"

"You like him?" said Snape angrily.

"Nothing to get mad about," Celeste told him, pursing her lips. "Of course, if I had to choose between him and you, I would choose you, because he's just a friend, Severus. I love YOU, not him."

"Really?" said Snape. "Ah…of course you do. I feel the same way about you, dear…"

"Thanks," said Celeste, her smile lighting up her face like sunshine. "Now let's blow this joint, shall we? I don't think it's very fun, what with that house-elf messing things up, and you and Black fighting…but the dinner was great, wasn't it? Molly is a really good cook…Well, bye, y'all, Merry Christmas!"

"Goodbye," said Snape rather sourly. "Come on, Lockhart, we're leaving."

"No, Severus!" said Lockhart, looking at Snape like he was crazy. "I'm staying! I think I might be able to get some more of Molly's delicious cooking…And there are so many pretty girls here!"

He smiled at Hermione, who smiled back, and Harry looked mad.

"All right then, Lockhart, if you don't want to come with us, that's fine, but I think you don't know the way back to my house, am I correct?" He watched Lockhart beadily, and Lockhart sighed.

"Yeah…I don't know the way back…let's go, Sev."

"Don't call me that," said Snape. Celeste giggled, and they decided to call the Knight Bus. Finally the big bus sped up next to them and Snape, looking apprehensive, led them all onto the bus. Celeste seemed to like the interior, and Lockhart claimed he had ridden on this bus before and enjoyed it, and he was looking forward to riding on it again very much. Snape and Celeste stared at Lockhart, amazed.

"I didn't think anybody could be so stupid, but…" Snape laughed quietly. "There you have it."

"Oh, Sevykins," said Celeste, giggly like she was. "Don't be so mean. You just insulted not only Lockhart, but also the Knight Bus, and all in one sentence. Only you could do something like that."

"It's just my talent, I suppose," said Snape.

"Hey, can you guys stop whispering?" Lockhart said. "Well, actually, you don't have to stop, because I'm guessing that you were saying about how cool I am, right?"

"Uhhh…yeah…you could say that," said Snape. Celeste giggled.



"I wish Lockhart was back here," said Andrea. She and Hermione were both in the room they were sharing with Ginny and talking. Hermione looked at Andrea, obviously amazed at her words.

"Why do you wish that?" she asked. "I mean, he's just so _stupid_."

"I know," said Andrea. "That's why I want him back here. He's so stupid, and it's funny. Now this place is just sort of quiet without him…Or maybe we should just get Ron in here. I still can't forget his dress robes from last year, Hermione. I was less than impressed with his appearance, you know."

"Yes, but he's a good boyfriend, isn't he?" said Hermione, thinking of Ron's dress robes last year and how he had looked sort of stupid (and also remembering Harry's dress robes which were quite nice). "Harry looked great in his dress robes…Ron got some new dress robes from Fred and George, remember? I can't imagine where they got the gold for it, though…Have you seen them on him, Andrea?"

"Uh-huh," said Andrea absently. "Real nice…"

"I'll go get Ron and Harry," said Hermione. "They're downstairs stuffing themselves, I think. I just want to give Harry his Christmas Eve present today. You have one for Ron, don't you?"

"Yeah, 'course I do," said Andrea. "I'll give it to him when he comes in here."

"Okay," said Hermione, going downstairs. She saw Harry and Ron playing chess with each other and told them, "Harry! Ron! Come on upstairs. I've got a surprise for both of you, you know."

"I don't want to," said Ron. "Chess, Hermione."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Andrea's upstairs, Ron, she won't be happy when I tell her you'd rather play a game of chess than see her. Well…you win some, you lose some, I guess…Harry, aren't you going to come upstairs with me? I've got a surprise for you, and not Ron, because he's not coming."

"No, yes I am!" said Ron. "You didn't say _Andrea_ was upstairs…"

"Well, I didn't think I needed to, Ron," said Hermione exasperatedly.

"Mm-hmm…" said Ron. "What is this surprise you're giving us, anyway?"

"It's a surprise, Ronald," said Hermione, looking at Ron like he was nuts or something. "Okay then, it's your Christmas Eve presents. You _did_ get one for me though, didn't you Harry?"

"Erm…no…but Ron didn't get one for Andrea either did he?" said Harry.

"Oh no I didn't!" said Ron loudly, looking alarmed. "I completely forgot! Oh, is Andrea going to be mad or what when she finds out I didn't get her a Christmas Eve present? Oh no…"


	27. At Home Again

"So…all in all, not one of your better dinner parties?" said Charlene.

When the three of them (Snape, Celeste, and Lockhart) had come home, dropped off by the Knight Bus, they had found Charlene just sobbing by the curb. Snape had apologized, Celeste had helped her up, and, well, Lockhart just watched it all happen, but what more can you expect?

"I really am sorry, Charlene," said Snape kindly, helping Charlene up. Charlene went on crying. Lockhart looked at her weirdly, but all four of them went into the house and sat on Snape's sofa. Snape went to get them all drinks again, since he always did that whenever he had visitors. Finally he came back with the drinks and everybody started blabbing at once. Snape went, "QUIET!!!"

"What?" said Charlene, sniffing.

"Okay you guys. Do you know where we've been, Charlene?" asked Snape, looking at Charlene, who was sitting on the couch with Celeste's arm around her. He guessed she didn't.

"No," said Charlene. Snape was right.

"Well, we were at a Christmas Eve lunch party!" cried Lockhart jubilantly, and taking it in turns the three of them told about what it had been like at Grimmauld Place for Christmas.

"It sure was bad," said Snape. "I was yelled at for _swearing_ by _Black_–"

"_Sirius_ Black?" said Charlene. "The jerk, you mean?"

"Well…actually he wasn't even a bit of a jerk, Charlene," said Celeste carefully. "It turns out Severus was just lying to me—I don't know why he would do that—but he did. And then Black goes, 'Well, if you think he's a good person he's not showing you what he's really like,' but I knew that he was certainly lying then, you know. Because you're definitely a good person, aren't you, Sevykins?"

"Of course I am," said Snape, looking at Celeste lovingly. "Black is still a jerk, you know, when _I _was in high school, those four, they never let up on me, they didn't, not once–"

Celeste sighed. "Oh, Sevykins, you still hold that against them?"

"Yes," said Snape defiantly. And then he said, "I won't soon forget the time that was just after exams where Potter flipped me upside down with my own spell, thank you very much."

"Harry did that?" said Lockhart, sounding both surprised and amused at the same time.

"No, not Harry, you dolt," said Snape. "If _he_ ever did something like that to me, I'd give him detention for the rest of his natural life. No, it was his father, James Potter…So annoying."

Celeste was wondering whether Snape had been wearing anything under his robes at the time. Charlene had put her hand in her mouth to stop herself giggling. Lockhart let out a loud hoot of laughter and soon all three of them were rolling around, shrieking in hysterics. Snape was the only one of them in the room who was not laughing. Lockhart finally slapped Snape's back, wiping tears.

"You still got it, man," he choked. "You still got it."

"That's…er…nice to know, Lockhart," said Snape, eyeing him with distaste as though he were a particularly disgusting casserole. "I don't suppose that's ever happened to you, though?"

"Call me Gilderoy," said Lockhart pompously. "And, no, everybody liked me. The only one in the school who was handsomer than me was Sirius Black, you know. I was totally popular. On the other hand, you were the school oddball, Snape. Everybody thought you were stupid and ugly."

"Don't remind me," said Snape.

"Anyway," said Charlene. "I-I'm sorry, Sev…I didn't mean to be like that. It's just that I'm feeling sort of stressed lately…Jim and I are planning a wedding, _and_ we have the baby's room."

"Naturally," said Snape, patting Charlene's hand and smiling at her. He was sorry, too, but he was sure he had apologized already. "So that's two weddings coming up, then, I suppose."

"Really?" said Charlene interestedly. "Who else is getting married? Anybody we know?"

"Sirius Black, of course," said Celeste. "He's got a wife-to-be. They're definitely engaged, but they don't know when they're going to have the wedding. They kissed all over the place when we were there. Black's fiancee, Meg—she slapped Snape three times when he insulted Black, actually."

"I can't believe I used to want her," said Snape. "Now the one I love is you, Celeste."

"Oh, Sevykins, I love you too," said Celeste, edging closer to Snape on the sofa; but she stole a glance over at Lockhart while she was at it. Lockhart looked angry and sad all of a sudden.

"Lockhart, what's wrong?" said Charlene. She had obviously noticed it, too.

"Well…if you want the truth…" Lockhart sighed and wiped his eyes. "Severus, you and Celeste have each other, don't you? And you have Jim, Charlene. I don't have anybody at all, though."

Snape was so surprised he didn't even make a comment about Lockhart's stupidity.

"There must be _someone_ who wants to go out with you," said Celeste. "I mean, you're handsome, aren't you? I mean, you said yourself the only one handsomer than you was Sirius Black. Personally, though, I disagree with that…Black was really cute, actually, but how is Severus…_ugly_?"

"Who cares?" said Lockhart. "Everybody says I'm stupid. Except my best friend, Severus."

"Best…best friend?" said Snape in amazement. "I mean…I insult you all the time…and…and I make you go away from my house whenever you come to call. How am I your best friend?"

"Constructive critisism!" Lockhart screamed. "And…and you just happened to be busy!"

"Well…yes," said Snape finally. He was always so mean to Lockhart…and he hadn't been busy all the times he had shunted Lockhart away. He just didn't want Lockhart to come in his house.

"And anyway," said Lockhart, "you let me in that time I talked to you about Charlotte and–"

"Hush," said Snape sharply. He did not want to talk about Charlotte right now. "Well…that's true…so you could call me your best friend, couldn't you, Lockhart? Certainly, Lockhart, of course…"

"Well, now that's settled…" said Charlene, "I'm hungry. Are you guys?"

"Ahh, we didn't eat much at Black's house," said Snape, remembering the disastrous food fight he had participated in at 12 Grimmauld Place, London. "I threw most of my food at him, actually…"

"Oh, yeah, and you kept missing!" Lockhart screamed, happy again.

"Well, you did, Sevykins," said Celeste, seeing Snape angry. "Well, we're all hungry, so why don't we go and get something to eat? This will be better than that not-fun lunch party we went to."

So they did.


	28. Announcements

Ron, Harry, and Hermione went upstairs, where Andrea was sitting and waiting for them. Harry and Ron were looking really nervous, for some reason. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Neither of them got their girlfriends a Christmas Eve present," she told Andrea.

"Ronald!" Andrea cried sharply. Then she got up and she looked into the eyes of Ron, who looked rather frightened. "I don't care, I love you. It _is_ the thought that counts, after all."

They were kissing. Harry whispered to Hermione, "She could give Sirius a run for his money."

Just then, who should pop into the room but Meg herself? She was humming "Here Comes the Bride" to herself happily. Beaming, she even kissed Harry on the top of his head.

"Guess what you guys?" she said. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were rather overbright. "Finally, we figured out when we should have our wedding. It's on February 1. So soon!"

"Congratulations," said Andrea matter-of-factly, detaching herself from Ron.

"I know," said Meg, happy tears forming in her eyes. "It was my idea in the first place and Sirikins says he agrees with it…I'm going to get him…I want him around all the time now!"

"She is obsessed," said Ron, watching Meg go out of the room, long rose-pink robes sweeping after her. "I mean…she's having her wedding so SOON…she wants him around all the time…did you see her face when she came in, I mean, she was basically crying with happiness, you know…"

"That's how you feel when you're in love, Ron," said Hermione impatiently.

"How would _you_ know?" Ron retorted. Hermione rolled her eyes. Just then Andrea came up and, once again, she grabbed Ron's arm, looking into his eyes…but this time she looked angry.

"So you're saying our relationship isn't serious?" she said. "Was it all just a game to you?"

"No…but…did I say that?" Ron said, looking at Andrea. "Of course it's not…I mean…It's not like…I mean, I sometimes say things I don't mean…it's one of my bad habits, you know…h-honey?"

Andrea rested her head on Ron's shoulder and said, "No…it's okay, baby…I say things I don't mean, too…it might be a bad habit we all have…I just…we're as close as we ever were, right baby?"

Ron never had time to answer, because…just then, Meg came back into the room, pulling Sirius's arm. Finally, Sirius looked around the room, smiling. He too looked rather euphoric, but not as much as his wife-to-be. The pair of them sometimes acted more like teenagers than adults.

"Sirikins, I can't stand it when I don't have you near," said Meg, looking up into Sirius's face. "That's good, you know. We're going to be married soon…I can't believe it…I love you, Sirius."

"I love you too, Meg," said Sirius, so quietly no one but Meg could really hear.

"You're the best man on Earth," said Meg. "You're handsome, kind, smart, brave…I think I might be the luckiest woman in the world to have you…oh, yes…of course I am…I really am…"

"Don't give me so much credit," said Sirius, laughing, his voice muffled by Meg's hair.

"Well, you deserve it," said Meg (while the pair of them were French-kissing, Andrea and Ron were looking at each other with wide eyes. They couldn't believe that there was someone who kissed more than they did, which wasn't really that possible). "I'm so glad we're going to be married soon."

"Me too," said Sirius. "Anyway…how are you all? I mean, I've been sort of caught up with Meg, and I didn't mean to be neglectful…We've got a wedding coming up in two months now though."

"Hey…you know what that reminds me of?" said Ron enthusiastically. "It reminds me of the time where there was the Yule Ball, and Snape and Lockhart were fighting over Meg, because Snape didn't know who Celeste Grimmauld was yet, and then he put her under the Romance Charm? And then it broke just when they were about to kiss, because of Sirius, and then Sirius put up the mistletoe in the Gryffindor common room, and then Harry had to kiss Bridget Sharlas who missed her own arm when Andrea tried to give her kissing lessons." He laughed at the story he had just told. "It was so funny."

"It was not, Ron," said Harry indignantly. He did not like to be reminded of that story.

"Anyway, I still can't believe she actually missed her own arm," said Ron, completely ignoring Harry and continuing to talk about the girl Bridget Sharlas. "I mean, that's, like, totally impossible!"

"You'd think," said Andrea, rolling her eyes.

"Why did you do that, anyway, Sirius?" said Hermione. "I mean, you only stayed with us at Hogwarts for a day or something, and then you took off on such short notice you didn't tell anybody except Harry about how you were leaving with Meg to the Bahamas…but what about the mistletoe?"

"I don't know. I just did…" said Sirius. "Because the teachers didn't, I thought it was Christmas-y…"

"Oh," said Hermione, looking at Sirius, wondering what would have happened if he hadn't put mistletoe up in the portrait hole doorway. "Well, it was sort of dumb, anyway. And then after that…Ron bashed our heads together, as he already said…" She glared at Ron, who was now sniggering quietly.

"You don't have to get so crabby," said Andrea. She went over to Ron and started kissing him again. Ron looked so happy that he had a girlfriend who loved kissing. Hermione just rolled her eyes.


	29. Meg and Celeste

Some hours passed and soon it was eight p.m. at Snape's house. Charlene and Lockhart had left only about a few minutes ago, and now Celeste and Snape were alone again. Celeste secretly wanted to ask if she could stay the whole night, but Snape spoke before she could summon up her courage.

"Well, you best be getting home too, Celeste."

"I don't really want to," said Celeste, noticing how the note of pleading crept into her voice when she hardly even had to force it to. "Please, can I stay here tonight, Sevykins? Tomorrow _is_ Christmas, after all, and I really want to spend it with my favorite person in the whole wide world, which is you."

"I don't know," said Snape. "Well…okay."

"OH THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!" screamed Celeste, even though she was usually more refined, and she grabbed Snape's face which was sort of degraded by his abnormally large nose and kissed his lips really romantically. Snape looked really surprised but then he finally started kissing Celeste back.

"Come on, let's go into your room," said Celeste. "This was such a fun Christmas Eve."

"I know, it was," said Snape as he followed Celeste into his bedroom. Actually, Celeste hadn't yet worked up the nerve to change out of the closet, but Snape always changed in the open. Celeste still waited for him to get in bed even though she wished she was more confident about herself, somehow.

"Hey…Severus?" said Celeste really quietly. She figured if he was truly her boyfriend, the one she didn't care if he saw her throwing up or sick or something, then she should be able to change in front of him, too. The problem was that she actually _did_ care if he saw her throwing up or sick or something. She was just the sort of person who thought her boyfriend would think she was disgusting for doing that.

"What?" said Snape.

"Well…I just…umm…" Celeste decided to throw subtlety to the winds and just tell her boyfriend the truth for once. "It's just that I don't know how I can change in front of you. It makes me feel funny."

"Then you don't have to," said Snape who as usual was missing the point.

"I know I don't have to!" said Celeste, wiping tears from her eyes. "I _want_ to, though! You met Meg, didn't you? I'll…I'll bet _she_ doesn't change in the closet! I'll bet they don't even _have_ a closet!"

"Are you saying Sirius Black is a better boyfriend than I am?" said Snape dangerously.

"Of course not," said Celeste, and she meant it. "I thought he was such a jerk. It turned out he wasn't, but still, he insulted you, and anyone who insults you is sooo not worth my time. And anyway, Sevykins, you're totally missing the point again. That's one of the really cute things about you, you know."

"Well, what's the point I'm missing?" said Snape. He was undoubtedly flattered that there was more than one cute thing about him in Celeste's opinion (and most of the time Celeste's opinion was the only opinion that really mattered to him), but still, he didn't like to know that he constantly missed the point.

"That maybe Meg…well, I don't know her too well, but maybe…maybe she's more confident than I am and she'll change in the closet, or maybe she doesn't care what Sirius thinks, but I care what you think, you know that. And it's just that I want to feel more confident around you, like…no worries, right?"

"Celeste, you know I'll always love you," said Snape, hugging Celeste.

"Yeah…but I'm going to change in the closet this time. Maybe next time I'll change in the open…but this time I'm just not ready." Celeste went into the closet and put on her nightgown that was pretty.

She had been thinking about Meg and Sirius for a long time, though. Finally, when she was sure her boyfriend was sleeping, she sneaked out of the room and got Snape's old-fashioned phone. Luckily, she had gotten along quite well with Meg, and Meg had given Grimmauld Place's phone number, so she called that number and it rang stupidly several times before Remus Lupin finally answered it.

"Hello?" said Remus.

"Hi, I'm Celeste," said Celeste.

"Why are you calling me?" said Remus.

"I'm not calling you," said Celeste, resisting the urge to call him a dope. _Oh, well_, she thought, _he's just probably tired_. "I just want to talk to Meg. Do you know where she is right now…or don't you?"

"She's…uhhh…kissing Sirius," said Remus carefully. "Uhhh…can she call you back?"

"No!" Celeste yelled, then stopped. What if she woke up Snape? She would hate it if he found out that she was trying to use his phone in the middle of the night to call Meg. So, she heard Remus sigh and then she heard several clunking noises, then finally Meg coming on the phone, sounding breathless.

"Hello? Who is it?"

"Hi, I'm Celeste," said Celeste for the second time that night. She remembered how close Meg had been to Sirius, and wondered if she should've interrupted their kissing. Maybe she should've been calling someone else, someone who was actually married. "Listen, Meg…well…you know…you seem really, you know, _open_ with Sirius. And excuse me if I'm getting too personal, but you guys did IT, right?"

"Yes," said Meg. "Several times."

"Really?" said Celeste. "How did you ask him to?"

"We didn't think, we just…_did_," said Meg. "Anyway, is this why you're calling? To find out whether me and Sirius have ever done IT? Because to ask me that _is_ sort of a personal thing to ask, you know."

"I know," said Celeste, who was sort of wishing a little bit she could do the same thing with Snape. "That's not why I'm calling. It's just…how do you change in front of him? Doesn't it embarrass you at all?"

"No…" said Meg. "He doesn't care."

"I know, but I could still never change in front of Severus!" said Celeste, sniffling. She felt tears coming out of her eyes and said, "What's the age when you stop feeling so…so awkward, anyway? Forty?"

"Celeste, you're the same age as I am," said Meg. "Maybe it's different for everybody."

"Why hasn't it come for me yet then?" said Celeste, who was by now sobbing. She hated how she was so shy and insecure of herself all the time. "D'you…d'you think there's something wrong with me?"

"What!" said Meg. "Of course not, Celeste!"

"THEN WHY AM I SO _SHY_?" she screamed, completely forgetting about not waking up Snape. "I'm always so uncomfortable and you're not! It's not fair!" Then she started sobbing heartily again.

"Celeste, please don't cry," said Meg. "What do you want me to do?"

"Nothing!" Celeste said rather hysterically. "Just hang up! I'll deal with it myself!" And then she hung up the phone on Meg and sank down to the floor, crying into her hands. She looked up bleakly for a little bit, and only then did she see Snape, standing right there in the doorway, watching her.


	30. Discussion

Meg stared at everybody in Grimmauld Place that she could see after poor crying Celeste had hung up on her. Since he could hear Celeste's voice (not her actual words, but he could hear sound coming from her end of the phone), Sirius was looking pretty anguished, too. "Who was it, honey?"

"It was Celeste," said Meg. "She was crying."

"That much I could tell," said Ron, who looked amazed. "Why did she want to know whether Meg did you-know-what with Sirius? What, is she doing some sort of survey on that or something?"

"No," said Meg, shaking her head. "She was just crying. She wanted to know how I could ever be so comfortable with you, Sirius" (Sirius held her close) "and her be so shy around Snape always."

"Maybe it's because Snape is a total jerk," Sirius suggested lightly.

"No, she likes him," said Meg. "She's just so embarrassed. She was really hysterical. Said she was always so uncomfortable and I wasn't. Said it wasn't fair." Meg shrugged and looked sad.

"Poor thing," said Sirius. "One of those women who changes in the closet."

"Is that what it means to come out of the closet?" said Ron.

"No," said Sirius, smiling. "That's a whole different thing. Anyway, Celeste shouldn't be going out with that jerk anymore if she doesn't feel right around him. That's one of the signs you have to break up."

"Dumbledore said part of the reason Snape felt so nervous around me when I was in the Romance Charm was because he was actually feeling really guilty about it," said Meg, adding to Sirius's words.

"Well then he still deserved it!" said Sirius.

"I really think I should call her back," Meg continued. "She was crying on the phone, guys. She just doesn't feel good changing in front of Snape. I don't really know why it bothers her so much, but…"

"Did she _tell_ you to call her back?" said Ron, staring at Meg.

"No, but…"

"You still should, I think," came a voice from the doorway; and there was Harry, who had been walking by and decided to join the conversation. "And who was crying on the phone with Meg, anyway?"

"Celeste Grimmauld," said Sirius, turning to him. "You know her, Snape's girlfriend?"

"Oh…" said Harry. "Well, you should call her back, Meg. She's probably crying so loudly she might get that stupid jerk named Snape to come back…because he basically did make her cry, didn't he?"

"In a way, you're right, Harry," said Sirius, laughing.

"Know what, though?" said Ron. He _wasn't_ laughing, unlike Sirius. "We shouldn't call her. She wouldn't like it. She'd think we were interfering. She said she'd solve it herself, and I think she meant it."

"Well…okay then," said Meg.

Maybe they thought they should have called her back. They shouldn't have, though, in truth, because she got it all sorted out with her boyfriend a just a little bit after everybody staged this conversation…


	31. Sorting It Out

"Celeste?" said Snape. "What's going on?"

"Oh, Severus, I don't know what to do!" Celeste wailed. "I know it's really stupid, but…remember what we were talking about before you went to sleep? About how I was afraid to change with you watching?"

"Yes…"

"Well, I don't know how to get rid of that fear. It's supposed to be because of some sort of insecurity. I'm sure I'm a really insecure person, but nobody else is so afraid of this sort of thing the way I am."

"Celeste, why don't you just try it?" said Snape. "It's true. I don't care, you know. I do care, I mean, but not in a bad way. No matter how you change, I love you. And anyway, isn't this sort of trivial?"

"Not to me," said Celeste, sniffling.

"Yes, well, I know you were on the phone," said Snape. "And crying, and I think…" He thought nobody could ever actually like him and felt sort of awkward saying this. "I think that I just don't have as much affection as other people, and I save what affection I _do_ have for people I really love, like you. I'm pretty sure that's why I'm so mean to Potter all the time. Anyway, you can tell me anything, Celeste."

"Well…it's…" Celeste thought of Meg and Sirius and 'we didn't think, we just _did_'. "I sort of want you and I to…" She fidgeted with her ponytail for a minute, hoping Snape would cotton on. "Umm…"

"Oh, _that_," said Snape; and even through his mild shock he felt a pang of nervousness. He had never ever done this before. Then he tried to suppress his nervousness and tried to replace it with some concern for his girlfriend. "Listen, Celeste…can't we get in bed to talk about this? Just not out here, okay?"

Celeste was relieved and she was more than a bit nervous. "Sure."

They went to the bedroom and got in Snape's bed. Snape was looking at Celeste, who was swallowing hard and trying not to look like some sort of dork, and wondering whether he was as much of a jerk as he had always been told by Sirius. _No, of course I'm not_, he thought; but then he wondered if that was really true, or if Sirius was right and he really was a jerk. Then he decided to just talk to Celeste, first.

"Well, this is…this is your first time, too, then?" he said.

"Yeah," said Celeste, feeling scared. Not of Snape, but if she was going to…well, mess up. She had heard about the foreplay and all (after somehow stumbling upon the unexpurgated copy of _Arabian Nights_), and even though she did not know to this day what it all really meant, she could tell it was something Snape might be expecting her to do. She wasn't sure even what women were _supposed_ to do in bed.

Nearly two weeks ago, when she didn't even know Snape, she never could have guessed that within the vicinity of a month she'd be talking about personal things with her boyfriend. Not with Charlene (who normally discussed these sorts of things with her), but with her actual boyfriend, Severus Snape, whom she hadn't even known existed two weeks ago. _Strange_, she thought, thinking about that.

"Well…look. I…" He tried to talk gently, so Celeste wouldn't be any more nervous than she already was, and so he wouldn't feel like such a jerk. _You see, everyone_? he thought. _I do too have a heart_! "I know you're nervous, and…and I am, too. So it's just…well, it's…it's okay. I don't even know what to do."

"Not…not at _all_?" said Celeste, thinking of how it would be if she would have to explain it to Snape, and feeling terrified at the thought. "You mean to tell me you don't even know how it's done? Sevy, I…"

"Oh, I know how to do it," said Snape, chuckling. "I just mean…well, I can't believe I'm actually telling this to someone, but I don't know how to act. I never thought I would, but I actually feel kinna awkward."

"Sevykins, I do, too," said Celeste. "I feel really awkward. How about…not tonight?"

"Not tonight?" said Snape, surprised. It had been Celeste's idea in the first place, and now she was bailing out? Wait…_not tonight_ meant they would be doing it another, better time, wouldn't they? "Celeste…"

"It's just not good to do it tonight," said Celeste. "I'll be ready next time. I won't be so scared, and I'll be more prepared. Hey, I just made a rhyme!" And when Snape stared at her, she said, "Sorry. My mind's just getting a bit distracted…the only time I've ever really talked about this was with Charlene…or to my overprotective mother in France. She sat me down one time and told me all about…you know…love, just because she said I needed to know, sometime. I do, I guess, but I was just sort of surprised."

"Oh," said Snape. "Well…can we do it another, better time then?"

"Sure," said Celeste. "We'll do it when I'm good and ready, and when you are, too." Then, surprising her boyfriend and even herself, Celeste snuggled into Snape's arms and Snape felt his hands roaming as though they were not connected to his brain. Celeste giggled and pushed them away, and then Celeste fell asleep in Snape's arms, waiting for Christmas, which, incidentally, was tomorrow.

And on this note, after he was completely sure Celeste was sleeping, Snape crept out of bed.


	32. Sirius and Snape

"Bedtime, Kreacher!" said Hermione, trying to pick the irritable house-elf up. He pulled her hair and she gently untangled his hands from it. Hermione set him down and she looked at him, apparently hurt.

"I don't want Mudbloods to take me to bed," he said meanly.

Hermione sighed. "You're just tired, Kreacher. Come on. Beddy-bye for you." She didn't pick him up again which was pretty sensible on her part. He probably would have ripped her hair right out if she had.

"Do you want me to throw you out of the room again?" Sirius asked Kreacher, coming.

"NO!" Kreacher yelled. He ran over on his knobbly little knees and slapped Sirius. Sirius hit him back and soon this big hitting fight ensued, in which Hermione screamed at Sirius to stop it. He did, but Hermione was still shouting at him when Ginny, Ron, Fred, George, Harry, Andrea, and Meg came in there.

"What's going on, sweetie-pie?" said Meg; she had a ton of mushy nicknames for Sirius. She come over and the pair of them (Meg and Sirius) began snogging each other furiously. Kreacher screamed his disapproval at his master kissing a "Filthy Half-Blood", but they didn't stop. Hermione and Harry stood around awkwardly as they usually did when Sirius and Meg were acting this way. Mrs. Weasley came in the room finally and split Sirius and Meg apart, telling them it was the children's bedtime.

"Goodnight," said everybody as the children went up the stairs. Sirius and Meg were left down there with all the other adults. Mrs. Weasley smiled at Sirius and Meg and she went into the kitchen.

"Now, where were we, baby?" said Sirius. Meg made some sort of noise and started kissing him even before he could kiss _her_. Mrs. Weasley was watching from the doorway, wiping her eyes on one dishcloth that she was holding. All this had to stop soon, though, because just then the phone rang loudly…or so it seemed, cutting into their lives. Mrs. Weasley didn't want to disturb the couple, so she answered it.

"'Ello…" It was definitely a man on the line, but his voice was kinna weird; it sounded deep, and it had traces of a British accent weaved into it, but it sounded like the guy was trying to sound French. It was very confusing. "Umm…well, 'ave I reached zee Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place…or am I wrong?"

"Oh, no, you've reached the right place," said Mrs. Weasley kindly. "How can I help you?"

"Erm…" The man on the line sounded rather embarrassed. "I talk to zee Sirius Black, please?"

"Well…yes…I'll get him for you," said Mrs. Weasley uncertainly. Who was this guy? She went into the other room and got Sirius, who came into the kitchen sounding just as confused as Mrs. Weasley had.

"Hello?"

"Umm…hi," said the voice, and Sirius was surprised to hear…Snape! "Don't hang up, Black. I promise I'm not going to send some sort of deadly curse over the phone line." He laughed at his own joke then.

"You couldn't if you tried," said Sirius. "Now what do you want? I haven't got much time."

Snape snorted. "Haven't got much time! The only thing you ever do is stand around kissing Meg, and that's probably what you're busy with, isn't it? Well…speaking of kissing, Black, actually…" Snape took one deep breath. This was stupid! He was too old to get nervous about this sort of thing…but Sirius was his old school enemy, after all. He was sure it was going to be awkward…if Sirius would even talk to him at all, that is. "Well…you know my girlfriend, Celeste…well, our relationships going a bit further, you know."

"What makes you think I want to hear about your love life?"

"Okay, fine, there's no point beating around the bush," said Snape. He breathed in slowly again. "Celeste, well, she…she wants to go a bit further, like I said, and…well…I…I wanted to ask your advice, Black."

"_Me_?" said Sirius incredulously. "Are you mad? We hate each other!"

"Be that as it may," said Snape, "I've seen you and Meg. You're always kissing, hugging…I know you've done it more than once, too. Before you went to Azkaban, your honeymoon, Grimmauld Place…"

"Okay then." Sirius sighed. "Snape, I can't just…it's…Well, what _exactly_ do you want to know?"

"Well…" Snape thought back to his conversation with Celeste. "We talked about it, and Celeste didn't know what to do, and I didn't either. I guess that's just what I really wanted to talk to you about, Black."

"_Snape_!" Sirius nearly yelled. "You don't know how it's _done_? Didn't your parents _tell_ you anything?"

"No, it's not like that!" said Snape, not equally loudly, because he didn't want to wake Celeste up. "I mean the ways of how we should start it. I can't believe I'm saying this to you. This is embarrassing."

"Well then why did you call me?" said Sirius. "Now, don't hang up. We're going to sort this out. So…if you don't know what to do, just don't worry about what she'll think. If you really know her, if your relationship is really truthful, she's going to understand when you tell her you're nervous, which you are. Just do what seems natural and you'll be fine. It's different for everybody. There's no reason to be embarrassed."

"Thanks, Black," said Snape regretfully. "Is…does the man always has to be in charge?"

"Of course not! No one's 'in charge'," said Sirius. "It's a two-person thing. Now why don't you get off the stinking phone and do what I know you've been wanting to do all night long and for longer than that."

"I haven't!" said Snape indignantly, but Sirius had hung up.


	33. Conversation

Snape crawled back into bed and looked at Celeste. Her face was even more pretty in the moonlight; he felt his heart leap. How could _he_ ever feel anything even remotely close to this? Most students (before they had seen his affair with Meg, anyway) had thought him the heartless Potions Master who lived alone in his cold, dark dungeon, sweeping around, just as Quirrell put it in Harry's first year, 'like an overgrown bat'. Snape knew that he really wasn't like that (well…at least not the part about his being heartless, anyway). He took a deep breath, thought himself silly, and then shook Celeste's shoulder.

"What?" Celeste grumbled. "It's too early, Charlene…"

"No, it's me, Severus," said Snape into her ears. She sat up straight and stared at him. Just when she was about to ask him what he was doing up, he answered the question before she could ask, "I'm ready."

"For wha…oh!" said Celeste. "Sevy, I…I mean…how…how did you get…ready…so…so quickly?"

"Oh, I don't know," said Snape, preferring not to tell Celeste about his use of the phone; recalling Sirius's advice, he decided to add, "I'm a bit nervous, though, so you might have to be a bit patient with me."

"Oh, Sevykins!" Celeste cried, leaning her head on his chest and feeling warmth surge through her, "I'm _more_ than a bit nervous! I'm a lot nervous. This _is_ my first time, after all. I never really…well, I thought I would…you know, talk to Charlene about this. She's my best friend, after all. I called Meg on the phone tonight, but she's not my best friend. When you share an apartment house with someone for one year, you just get really close." She sighed and leaned her head against his chest. "I sometimes wish I could share an apartment house with you for a year, but you and I both know that can't happen."

"Well, my house is good enough, isn't it?" said Snape, lowering his voice. There was probably some song for their situation, as long as they were together, but now was probably not the time to recall it. He felt his girlfriend squirming slightly under the covers and suddenly he wished that it was morning; that their whole affair was over. Maybe some of his fear had carried over the phone lines; maybe Sirius had sensed it and maybe that was why he had been talking slightly nicer. Anyway, maybe he _wasn't_ ready. Sirius had told him to just act natural, but he hadn't said 'call me if you need any help'. He didn't sound as though he thought his old school enemy would actually carry out his plans to take the relationship a step further.

"I love you, Severus," said Celeste.

"I love you, too, Celeste," Snape replied, feeling a whole mixture of emotions, struggling with them; the only one he could figure out was like he was deciding something: whether to carry on and do what he said he'd do, or just pretend to be asleep until Celeste actually _did_ fall asleep. Finally, he made his decision.

"Severus, are you still awake?" Celeste asked.

"Yes!" said Snape, holding her close. "Celeste…I hate to tell you, but all the times you've slept over at my house, you've only changed in the closet. How will you ever…you know…?"

"I can change out of the closet!" said Celeste indignantly. "I mean…I'm wearing a nightgown. I'm wearing stuff under it, though. Just so you know."

"Oh. Well are you going to undress in front of me?" asked Snape uncertainly.

"Yes," said Celeste. This was actually the first time she had undressed in front of anybody since she'd been very young. She hadn't even changed in front of Charlene. She always changed in the bathroom if there was somebody else in the room.

Celeste nervously stepped onto the floor and slipped her nightgown off her head. She was wearing stuff under it, like she'd told Snape, but she was still blushing anyway.

Snape was feeling sort of the same way: like he was doing things he had never experienced before. He suddenly opened his mouth nervously. "Celeste?"

"Yeah?" said Celeste, climbing back into Snape's bed.

"I think…well…the whole reason we're doing this is because we want to get our bodies as close together as possible, right, because we're in love, right?"

"Of course."

"Well…I don't think we're ready for it, yet. We shouldn't_ be_ feeling that nervous. Like…do whatever feels natural, and this _doesn_'_t_, yet. Intercourse is a natural function and…we should be feeling better about it before we go and do this. I think we should wait till after I marry you, Celeste."

"Sevykins!" Celeste squealed. "Was that a _proposal_?"

"No!" said Snape. "And shhh, what are you trying to do, wake everybody up? I mean…what do you say about what I just said?"

"I think I agree, Severus," said Celeste. "And besides, we don't need to do that to get ourselves as close together as possible, do we? All we need to do is hug and kiss and stuff."

"Of course," Snape told her, and they locked lips some more. Snape thought momentarily of what Sirius would say if he had found out that Snape _hadn_'_t_ carried out what he was asking about on the phone, but he decided he didn't want to think about Sirius right now. Finally, Snape just put his arms around his girlfriend and kissed her smoothly on the lips. Celeste seemed surprised, but she continued his kiss. When they finally broke apart, again, Snape looked at the clock on his bedside cabinet.

"It's midnight," he said.

"Oh," said Celeste. "And that means it's Christmas, too." Snape couldn't see her face in the dark, but he somehow knew that she was smiling. "Well, Merry Christmas, Severus."

"Merry Christmas, Celeste," said Snape. "I love you."

"I love you too, Sevykins," Celeste replied, and they resumed their kissing.


	34. Christmas Eve Night at Grimmauld Place

"Who was that guy on the phone?" asked Mrs. Weasley, after Sirius had hung up, slightly surprised that his old school enemy had actually called him, asking for advice. "I heard you say Snape's name, once."

"It _was_ Snape," said Sirius.

"What did he want?" said Meg, her eyes slightly narrowed. It was well known that she hated Snape for being so mean to Sirius all the time. "He called you a lot of names and made you angry, did he?"

"Actually, not," said Sirius. "He just wanted me to tell him some things…" And before anybody else could say anything more about it, Sirius swept Meg into his arms and kissed her like he had never kissed her before. Mrs. Weasley smiled and left them at it. Snape wasn't mentioned anymore after that.



"Harry, are you sleeping?" said Ron. They were in their beds on Christmas Eve, waiting for morning to come, but it still hadn't. Hedwig and Pigwidgeon were there up on top of the dresser, hooting softly.

"No," said Harry.

"I can't believe they send us up so early," said Ron angrily. "I mean…Sirius and Meg are only, like, twenty years older than we are, and they get to stay up late. Sirius would've let you stay up late, Harry, but my mom wants to send you upstairs." He sighed. "I can't wait for Christmas…what'll you get?"

"For presents?" said Harry, thinking about getting new gifts tomorrow morning, happily. "Well…I don't know, but I didn't get Andrea the 'Weird Sisters' CD that she wanted. I let you get it, remember?"

"Yeah," said Ron. "Why don't we let them come in here? I mean, just to talk."

"You mean _kiss_," said Harry, making Ron's ears turn all red, but they were smiling when they went into the room of Hermione, Andrea, and Ginny. The three girls were sitting on Ginny's bed, all whispering to each other excitedly. Harry and Ron looked at each other strangely. They opened the door wider than it already was (it had been left ajar) and then they listened to the girls whispering to each other.

"Ron, it's not nice to eavesdrop," said Harry, remembering last night.

"_Harry_," said Ron exasperatedly. "What if they're talking about you? You have to…Fine, go back, but I'm definitely staying. Who knows what they could be talking about? I think they're talking about us."

"Okay, I'll stay, too," said Harry, annoyed. So they went closer so they could hear what the three girls were saying. The youngest of them, Ginny spoke first; she was saying something about Harry.

"He's so handsome," said Ginny. "You're so lucky to go out with him, Hermione!"

"I told you they were talking about you, Harry," said Ron. Just then, Ginny froze and looked behind her; so did Andrea and Hermione. Ginny blushed scarlet, Hermione looked rather angry, and Andrea just rolled her eyes; Harry knew she was remembering the last time he had eavesdropped on somebody.

"What are you guys doing here?" Hermione cried.

"They're probably seeing if we're talking about them," said Andrea, sounding annoyed. "They're obviously so smitten with us they have to see what we think of them. Don't worry, Ginny, Harry already knows you have a huge crush on him." She said this since Ginny looked as though she was going to cry.

"There's still no excuse for eavesdropping, you guys!" Hermione said, standing up, her hands on her hips, and glaring at Harry and Ron furiously. "What have the pair of you got to say for yourselves?"

Just then, the door across the hall from Harry and Ron's room opened (that was the room where Sirius and Meg were in). It was Meg, coming into the room and looking rather tired and confused.

"What's going on, you guys?" she said, running her hand through her long blonde hair. She was wearing this long nightdress (which was pink, her favorite color). Ron looked at her; a sort of glazed expression was on his face. Andrea looked at him, annoyed, and then slapped him. Ron turned scarlet.

"Umm…well, it's my fault, actually, not Harry's," said Ron quietly. "I wanted to bring Andrea, Hermione, and Ginny in our room so we could play games or something, but then we saw them all talking on the bed so I wanted to eavesdrop, but Harry told me not to, and then I led him into it. It's totally my fault."

"Last night, when Sirius went to get a drink of water, I overheard him finding you outside _our_ bedroom door," said Meg, sitting down on the floor and smiling. "That wasn't Ron's fault as well, was it?"

"No," said Harry.

Meg happily hugged Harry, and then she hugged Ron, and then she hugged the girls, and then she said, "Guess what. Sirius and I think we might want to have a baby. Isn't that the greatest thing?"

"Wow, yes," said Hermione. "What would you name one?"

"We're going to name our baby after one of Harry's parents," said Meg, beaming at Harry. "So if it's a girl we'll name her Lily Black, and if it's a boy he'll be James Black. It is Sirius's idea."

"Cool," said Harry. "So you are going to have a baby?"

"Yeah," said Meg happily. "I know I'm going to love being married to Sirius: he's so nice to me all the time, and he never yells or gets mad at me. And even if he did, he would always still love me."

"That's so sweet," said Ginny, and Andrea agreed.

"Anyway," said Meg, "I'm going to live here. You know, most people move into their husband's house when they get married…and this _is_ Sirius's house, after all. It's going to be so fun living here."

"Yeah," said Andrea, "but you already do live here, Meg. You sleep here every single night, and you hardly ever leave here during the day. So there won't be any difference, really, when you're married."

"That's because Sirius doesn't," said Meg. "Except when he's on some sort of mission for the Order, and then I don't come, either, unless I'm allowed to. The only time I really ever leave is when I have my own missions, and that's not often, because I'm just an ex-Auror. I'm retired, you know."

"Retired always makes me think of old people," said Ginny. "You're not old, though. When you were at our school and teaching, people looked up to you. Do you remember Snape? Of course…how could you ever forget him? That fiasco with the Yule Ball…how did he ever think that you would like him?"

Before anybody had time to say anything else, the door across the hall opened and shut again and Sirius came out into the hall. He was looking for Meg, of course. "Hey, what's going on out here?"

"We're in here, baby," Meg called, but she didn't really need to raise her voice very much; Meg and Sirius's room was straight across the hall from Harry and Ron's room. Sirius came in there and sat on the bed that had the least people on it, so they wouldn't all be squished together. There were quite a few people in the room right now; Sirius, Hermione, Andrea, Harry, Ginny, Ron, and Meg.

"What were you talking about?" asked Sirius, smiling at everybody.

"Our plans for after we get married," said Meg. Sirius had sat down on the same bed that she was sitting on, though there were three of them (one for Hermione, one for Andrea, and one for Ginny), and now he put his arm around her, and she snuggled closer to him. Andrea and Ron did the same thing after that, basically, except Ron didn't really have any chance to put his arm around Andrea, because Andrea just grabbed him and she gave him a huge kiss on the lips. Ron's ears turned very red as he returned the kiss; and then Hermione looked at Harry, who simply blushed and looked down at the floor.

"It's a good topic of discussion," said Sirius. "We should start working on preparing the wedding, since it's coming up pretty soon. We planned it like that, since we don't really want to wait very long."

"Yeah. We used to want it on Valentine's Day; it was a very romantic idea, you know," said Meg, eyeing Sirius lovingly. "We'd have to wait two months for our wedding, though, if we chose that date. If two people love each other as much as we do, they aren't willing to wait that long, are they, Sirikins?"

"No, they aren't," said Sirius, pulling Meg into _another_ kiss, which was very long, and when they finally did come up for air, they just took a short breath and then kept kissing each other again.

"They are bordering an obsession, aren't they, Harry?" said Hermione. Harry, who had been watching the kissing of Sirius and Meg, jumped at the sound of her voice. Hermione was smiling at him.

"They are," said Harry. Sirius and Meg finally stopped kissing. After that they all talked about other things, like Quidditch and OWL tests (the ones they had to take at the end of the year), stuff like that, and when it got really late, Sirius, Meg, Harry, and Ron went back to their respective rooms, and then everybody went to sleep, waiting for Christmas morning (which was, of course, tomorrow).


	35. Christmas Morning

That next morning, Celeste woke up in Snape's bed at 5:00 a.m., while he was still sleeping. She stared up at the ceiling, hardly able to believe she could go out with anybody as great as him. She knew she totally loved him and always would.

"I love you, Severus," Celeste whispered. Her ponytail was out, since she had taken it out before she had gone to sleep, and her hair covered up the pair of them as she kissed Snape full out on the lips. Before she could lose her nerve, she used her tongue, too, and she saw Snape's eyes open; and he looked very surprised. Soon he recovered, though, and they sat up in bed, kissing each other passionately.

Snape was wondering how Celeste had suddenly gotten so confident. A few days ago, she never would've dared to kiss him like that, and she would have had a heart attack at the idea of having intercourse, even though they had considered it last night. Now things were different, though. Celeste had put her nightgown back on, of course, and Snape didn't dare try to get his hands under that, so he just roamed his hands around her like that, and Celeste suddenly stopped kissing Snape and dodged out of the way of his hands, blushing and laughing slightly.

"What?" said Snape.

"Oh, Sevykins, I love you!" Celeste cried, knocking him down on the bed and they were both laughing (it was sort of strange, since Snape didn't laugh very often), and they kissed some more. Snape found himself wondering if Sirius and Meg did something like this. He couldn't imagine Meg and Sirius being…_polite_ when they were in bed, so he figured they would be pretty surprised at him now.

Celeste suddenly thought of Charlene. Where was she? Was she home, in their apartment, lonely and wishing for something to do, or was she…somewhere else? Only then did Celeste remember that today was Christmas Day. She turned over on the bed; all thoughts of Charlene had suddenly vanished.

"Merry Christmas, Severus," she said. Snape looked surprised but then he smiled back at her. Celeste always wondered why other people didn't like Snape, but she figured there must be a reason, or she would have a lot more competition than usual. Snape grabbed her and kissed her slowly, so she thought the world must have suddenly went to slow motion; but when he kissed her, she felt like she was flying or something. _Slow kisses are the best_, she found herself thinking. Then they French-kissed again.

"So, did you get me anything?" said Snape.

"Oh no, I'm so sorry," said Celeste. Why hadn't she thought to give him anything? She could feel herself blushing tremendously. "I-I didn't get you anything, Severus. I know, I'm a _terrible_ girlfriend, and—"

"No, it's okay, I didn't get you anything, either," said Snape, smiling.

"I really am sorry, though," said Celeste. And then, getting an idea, she said, "but I do have another gift for you, though. Hope it fits." And then she gave him a huge kiss, right on the lips. When they finally broke the kiss, Snape looked amused. He hadn't thought that Celeste would kiss him all on her own.

"The best presents don't come in boxes," said Snape in an oddly husky voice, and Celeste giggled. They began kissing again, and Celeste felt like time had stopped and she and Snape were the only people in the whole world that mattered. It was a wonderful feeling, and she knew that love was a wonderful thing.


	36. Christmas Morning Again

A long way away, over the very dirty river and Hogsmeade where Charlene was, alone (but she wasn't lonely, since she was planning to see her husband-to-be, Jim, during the day), and back to where Sirius and Meg were coming out of their room together, kissing like they usually did. They had gotten each other gifts, of course, unlike Celeste and Snape. Nobody else was upstairs; they were all downstairs.

Meg and Sirius hadn't bothered to change out of their pajamas; nobody had. They both just wore their bathrobes. Sirius's was a handsome dark green with long sleeves and went all the way down to his feet and was sort of loose; Meg's was rather tight, a rosy pink, with long sleeves, and stopped a bit below her knees. They started to go down the stairs, and they would take their showers later today.

When they got down the stairs, they weren't surprised to see that Andrea and Ron were kissing each other furiously; but they _were_ surprised to see that Hermione was kissing Harry as well. They weren't kissing as dramatically as Andrea and Ron, of course, but they were certainly kissing, and they both looked very happy about it, too.

"Merry Christmas, everybody!" said Meg happily.

"Merry Christmas, Meg," said Hermione, smiling, detaching herself from Harry. Harry said the same thing and then all four of them looked at Ron and Andrea, who were still kissing.

Actually, Sirius was still wondering how Snape and Celeste were getting along. He had heard how nervous his old school enemy had sounded, and he expected he hadn't actually done anything with her. Still, it might have been that Snape had actually taken his advice and done IT with Celeste…

"Anything on your mind, Sirius?" said Meg conversationally as they sat down.

"No…I'm just wondering how Snape and Celeste are faring." Sirius opened the refrigerator and got out some breakfast. "Does everybody like pancakes?"

They all did, it turned out, and they enjoyed a marvelous pancake breakfast. Meg wanted to know more about Celeste and Snape, though.

"Why are you worrying about them?" she asked. "I thought you hated them."

"Well, yeah, I do," said Sirius, "but…well…I'm not sure Snape would mind if I told you this, but…well, it turns out Celeste wanted to continue their relationship further or something and—"

"You mean, like…like intercourse?"

"Yes." Sirius took a bite of his butterscotch pancake and continued talking. "And he wanted to ask me for my advice…so I just wanted to see how everything was going."

"Oh. Well…" Meg put her head in her hands and looked up at her husband-to-be. "We don't think about how nervous we are—"

"We aren't—" said Sirius.

"Actually, Sirius, there's something I never told you," said Meg. "On my first time with you, I was nervous, just a little bit. Mostly, I was thinking about how much I love you, but still…"

"Yeah, I know. We're like an old married couple…We will be soon."

"Not old though," said Meg. "I'm so excited for our wedding date, though…Do you want to make it even sooner? Because I cannot wait."

"You know, me neither," said Sirius. "We should have it tomorrow…"

"Yeah, but it would have to be informal," said Meg, clasping her hands into Sirius's on the table over their pancakes. "You know, we'd have to spend a bit more time on a formal wedding…"

Sirius's gray eyes met Meg's brown ones, and their lips also met, too.

"Do you think they're really going to get married tomorrow?" Hermione asked Harry as she dug into her plain pancakes with syrup.

"Yes," said Harry fervently, watching Sirius and Meg, who were now French-kissing.

"You should get Sirius something to wear to his wedding," said Andrea sagely. "Like, his tux and stuff like that. Hermione and me can get Meg her wedding stuff, because we're going to be her bridesmaids, aren't we, Hermione?"

"I still think they should wait a bit," said Hermione.

"Harry's still mad because he can't be a bridesmaid," said Andrea, grinning, and Harry pulled one of her pigtails, and Andrea stuck her tongue out at her brother.

"Do you really want to be a bridesmaid, Harry?" said Ron, who had double-chocolate-chip pancakes with extra syrup, even though Andrea said he was going to be huge if he kept on eating that, and Harry glared at Ron, because how could he believe that Harry wanted to be a bridesmaid?

"You're really gullible, aren't you, Won-Won?" said Andrea, and then she kissed Ron, and everybody thought that Hermione and Harry wouldn't be kissing, but they did, because Hermione kissed Harry, who looked really surprised, but finally he broke away from her.

"I don't think Sirius _really_ meant it when he said they should get married tomorrow, on second thought, actually," said Harry, and he went over to the corner of the table where Sirius and Meg were still snogging furiously, and said, loudly, "SIRIUS!"

"Yeah?" said Sirius, detaching himself from Meg, who looked angry at being interrupted.

"Are you really going to get married, tomorrow?" asked Harry, looking at Andrea and Ron, who were kissing, still, and wondering if they were ever going to stop it.

"I don't know," said Meg, answering for Sirius. "Why? Do you want us to?"

"No. Hermione says you should wait a bit more," said Harry, taking a chair beside Sirius, and putting his head in his hands. Sirius looked surprised.

"I'm sorry we didn't pay more attention to you, Harry," said Sirius. "That's how it always is when you're about to get married, you know—your parents were like that, too. They kissed all the time, because they were so glad to be with each other—but they never changed their wedding date, though."

"Yeah…Hermione!" called Harry, going over to where his friend was sitting.

"What?" said Hermione. She was watching Ron rather disgustedly, because he was trying to talk with his mouth full of double-chocolate-chip pancakes with extra syrup.

"Why do you think Meg and Sirius should wait to get married?"

"Because they…well, I don't know, actually," said Hermione, smiling slightly. "I guess it just seemed to me so…impromptu to change their wedding to tomorrow."

"Well, yeah, but if you love somebody, you should marry them as soon as possible," said Ron, but it sounded harder to decipher than that, since he still had a lot of food in his mouth. Hermione looked at him disgustedly, again, and Ron swallowed.

"What did you say, Ron?" asked Harry loudly.

"I said, if you love somebody, you should marry them as soon as possible," Ron repeated. "Maybe they just can't wait any longer."

For once in their lives, Sirius and Meg were not kissing.

"How about this," Sirius suggested. "We can have our wedding not tomorrow, or the day after that, but we can have it the day after the day after tomorrow, instead. Sound good?"

"Yes," said Meg. "After all, we're still together. We don't need to get married right away, because either way, we'll still be with each other."

"Exactly," said Sirius. "Now…I wanted to find out how Snape was getting on, remember? So I thought I'd, you know, call him. Even though we are usually enemies."

"Okay," said Ron. "You don't need my permission."

Sirius smiled at Ron, put his fork down, and stood up from the table. He made a shhh-ing gesture as he dialed Snape's number.


	37. Another Phone Call

The phone rang while Snape and Celeste were still kissing. Snape swore (_"Sevykins_!" Celeste said to him reproachfully), and tore himself away from his girlfriend.

"Who is this?" said Snape rather angrily. "Not another telemarketer!"

"I'm not a telemarketer!" Sirius cried, annoyed. "It's…It's Sirius Black. I just wondered how you were getting along with Celeste."

Snape was momentarily stunned. "You…you…I…oh…what?"

"That's right," said Sirius. "Remember when you called me? Asking for my advice, I mean? Well, it's just, well, I was wondering how you were doing."

"Thanks," Snape muttered.

"You're welcome," said Sirius, sounding a bit embarrassed, too. "Listen…hmm…I know we're still enemies for the rest of forever, right, Snivellus?"

"Absolutely."

"Yeah…but we shouldn't say really bad things to each other," said Sirius. "At least, not in front of Meg and Celeste, because they really like each other. Meg doesn't really like you, but our wives are really getting along well, and I know they don't like when we fight, you know?"

"I know," said Snape.

"Okay, so, now that we have that settled, I wanted to get along to what I called you about, like how you and Celeste are faring." Sirius paused. "Unless you don't want to tell me, of course."

"No, it's okay," said Snape quietly. "Here…well, heh, we actually, you know, it was just sort of quick and without thought, and I don't know whether we should've, but—"

"You had intercourse?" said Sirius.

"Well, no," said Snape. He sounded heavily embarrassed, which was only enhanced by the fact that he was talking to his old school enemy in this conversation. "I mean…we thought about it."

"Well, that's a start," said Sirius.

Suddenly, there was a crashing noise from Snape's end of the phone. Sirius heard Celeste speaking a bit to Snape, and Snape speaking back to her, and then finally a woman's voice was talking on the phone line. He rolled his eyes.

"Hello?" said Celeste. "Hi! I'm Celeste!"

"Oh, hi," said Sirius. "You're Snape's girlfriend, aren't you? I met you at Molly's Christmas party. So how do you like Snape?"

"You mean Sevykins?" said Celeste, apparently unknowing of how Sirius had just been momentarily taken aback. "Oh, he's been great, you know, really kind, and sweet, and wonderful…"

"Oh that's no surprise," Sirius muttered to himself.

"What was that?"

"Nothing," said Sirius. "Well, anyway, I've got to be going, now. Bye."

"Bye!"

"That was Sirius Black, wasn't it?" Celeste said. "Oh, well, he sounded nice. Why were you telling him about our love, Sevy?"

Snape, personally, would have slapped anybody but Celeste who called him that name, but when Celeste said it he found he rather enjoyed it.

"Because he asked," said Snape. "I called him earlier to ask for his advice on our relationship, and then he called to check up on how we were doing."

"Why did you need advice? I was under the impression we were doing fine."

"Well, I was uncomfortable," said Snape, sounding even more embarrassed. "I knew you sort of wanted to have intercourse with me, and I was…was sort of nervous. I didn't know how to—well, I knew how it worked, obviously, but I didn't know how to go about it. So finally we just…didn't."

"Oh, Sevykins!" Celeste cried, looking tearful. "Why didn't you just tell me you felt that way? I mean, before you called Sirius Black? Honey, I was nervous, too! Everybody get nervous on their first time, didn't you know that?"

"That's what Black said," said Snape. "I just…you know, I just thought you wouldn't like me anymore or something like that. I mean…it's not that, I just wanted to seem like I never got nervous about it. I wanted you to think I was on top of everything."

"Oh but Sevykins, I already knew you weren't on top of everything!" Celeste told him. "I already knew that nobody is on top of everything! It's impossible to be perfect."

"I know it is," said Snape. "It's just…nobody's ever really romantically loved me before. Well, you know I bewitched Meg, but that wasn't real love, of course. You can't manufacture love. You're the first one who's ever loved me back, and I felt so strange in a relationship, actually."

"Well, we'll both muddle through, together," said Celeste.


	38. Presents

The phone rang yet again at Snape's house. Celeste and Snape had just been going into a kiss, and Snape had his hands clenched into fists. Celeste got up quickly from the couch and went to answer it.

"Hello?" she said kindly.

"This is Meg Smith," said Meg. "Have I…Have I reached the house of Severus Snape?"

"Meg!" Celeste squealed. She couldn't see it, but Meg was smiling. "Why are you calling? And you have reached Sevykins's house, by the way."

"Thanks," Meg said. "Now…I know this might come as a shock to you, but Sirius and I are deciding to have our wedding the day after the day after tomorrow. How's that sound?"

"Great!" Celeste cried. "Why are you telling me this, though?"

"Well," said Meg, hoping Celeste wouldn't get too ecstatic, "I want you and your roommate, Charlene, to be bridesmaids in my wedding. And I want you to be my maid of honor."

"Oh, _Meg_!" Celeste shrieked, and she even let loose a few tears of joy. She was so glad Meg had chosen her to be her maid of honor. "Do—Do you _really_?"

"Definitely," Meg told her happily.

"Thank you so much!" Celeste screamed. "And I'll throw your bridal shower, too! And we can have it tomorrow, since your wedding's so soon! It'll be so fun!"

"You're going to throw it tomorrow?" asked Meg. "Thanks!"

"No problem!" said Celeste. "Anyway…how many bridesmaids will you have?"

"Counting you and Charlene, I'll have five," said Meg. "Andrea Potter, Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger, you, and Charlene."

"Totally!" Celeste cried. "Now…you can help me throw your bridal shower."

"Okay!" said Meg. "We can ask Hermione, Andrea, and Ginny to come along, too. Do you think I should ask Sirius to help us with it?"

"Well, sure," Celeste said, laughing. "And Severus. Even though it's a bridal shower. And we can try to invite lots of guests, too. Like Gilderoy Lockhart and Charlene's husband-to-be, Jim…"

"Husband-to-be?" asked Meg. "Charlene's getting married?"

"Yeah," Celeste told her. "She's actually having a baby. You can't really see it yet, since she only got pregnant a few days ago, but she and Jim are going to get married, too, since they need to do that since they can take care of their baby. You know?"

"I didn't know," said Meg in surprise. "Anyway…do you think we need more bridesmaids?"

"No!" said Celeste, laughing again. "We don't have any other people who would like to be, anyway, I think. Anyway…where will you buy the cake and stuff for your wedding? Where will you get all of your dresses and stuff like that?"

"We're having an informal wedding!" said Meg happily. "Sirius and I and the bridesmaids and Harry are going to dress up, of course, but other than that, it's not really that formal."

"Harry?" asked Celeste.

"Yeah." Meg smiled. "Sirius wants him to be his best man. And it was Harry's idea for you to be my maid of honor in the first place, too. I really like you, you seem really friendly, Celeste, and I really wanted to get to know you better, too, so I chose you for my maid of honor."

"I still think it was really nice of you, Meg," said Celeste. "And where are we going to have your wedding, anyway? Where will you get the cake and all the rest of the stuff like that?"

"Hmm," said Meg. "It was really impromptu for us to decide something this important, wasn't it? That's what Hermione Granger said."

"Wasn't she that one with the medium-length brown hair who was one of Severus's students?" Celeste asked. "He mentioned her once when Charlene came over to his house with me, I remember. Said she was good at Potions. Isn't she Harry's girlfriend?"

"Yeah," said Meg.

"Well," Celeste said, "if you want to get started on your bridal shower, you can come over right now and we can start preparing and stuff."

"Okay!" Meg told Celeste. "We can do something else, too, that I remember. I remember I found Andrea once working on this quiz that was 'How Intimate Are You And Your Girlfriend? Find Out In This Quiz.' She turned it into a quiz a girl could take, though. And Harry already took it, I think, because it was addressed to him and I showed it to him and he said he already took it. He wouldn't say his score, though."

Suddenly, Celeste started laughing very loudly. Meg couldn't figure out why until she talked. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Meg. That was something Charlene, Severus and I sent Harry as a joke, actually. It was originally something Charlene made up, and it was originally for girls to find out how intimate they are with their boyfriends. Did you take it, too, by the way?"

"No," said Meg. "I wonder what Sirikins would have gotten."

"Hmm…I don't know," said Celeste. "Has he left no part of you un-kissed?" And then they both started to laugh with each other once more.


	39. Yet Another Call

The phone rang yet again at Snape's house. Celeste and Snape had just been going into a kiss, and Snape had his hands clenched into fists. Celeste got up quickly from the couch and went to answer it.

"Hello?" she said kindly.

"This is Meg Smith," said Meg. "Have I…Have I reached the house of Severus Snape?"

"Meg!" Celeste squealed. She couldn't see it, but Meg was smiling. "Why are you calling? And you have reached Sevykins's house, by the way."

"Thanks," Meg said. "Now…I know this might come as a shock to you, but Sirius and I are deciding to have our wedding the day after the day after tomorrow. How's that sound?"

"Great!" Celeste cried. "Why are you telling me this, though?"

"Well," said Meg, hoping Celeste wouldn't get too ecstatic, "I want you and your roommate, Charlene, to be bridesmaids in my wedding. And I want you to be my maid of honor."

"Oh, _Meg_!" Celeste shrieked, and she even let loose a few tears of joy. She was so glad Meg had chosen her to be her maid of honor. "Do—Do you _really_?"

"Definitely," Meg told her happily.

"Thank you so much!" Celeste screamed. "And I'll throw your bridal shower, too! And we can have it tomorrow, since your wedding's so soon! It'll be so fun!"

"You're going to throw it tomorrow?" asked Meg. "Thanks!"

"No problem!" said Celeste. "Anyway…how many bridesmaids will you have?"

"Counting you and Charlene, I'll have five," said Meg. "Andrea Potter, Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger, you, and Charlene."

"Totally!" Celeste cried. "Now…you can help me throw your bridal shower."

"Okay!" said Meg. "We can ask Hermione, Andrea, and Ginny to come along, too. Do you think I should ask Sirius to help us with it?"

"Well, sure," Celeste said, laughing. "And Severus. Even though it's a bridal shower. And we can try to invite lots of guests, too. Like Gilderoy Lockhart and Charlene's husband-to-be, Jim…"

"Husband-to-be?" asked Meg. "Charlene's getting married?"

"Yeah," Celeste told her. "She's actually having a baby. You can't really see it yet, since she only got pregnant a few days ago, but she and Jim are going to get married, too, since they need to do that since they can take care of their baby. You know?"

"I didn't know," said Meg in surprise. "Anyway…do you think we need more bridesmaids?"

"No!" said Celeste, laughing again. "We don't have any other people who would like to be, anyway, I think. Anyway…where will you buy the cake and stuff for your wedding? Where will you get all of your dresses and stuff like that?"

"We're having an informal wedding!" said Meg happily. "Sirius and I and the bridesmaids and Harry are going to dress up, of course, but other than that, it's not really that formal."

"Harry?" asked Celeste.

"Yeah." Meg smiled. "Sirius wants him to be his best man. And it was Harry's idea for you to be my maid of honor in the first place, too. I really like you, you seem really friendly, Celeste, and I really wanted to get to know you better, too, so I chose you for my maid of honor."

"I still think it was really nice of you, Meg," said Celeste. "And where are we going to have your wedding, anyway? Where will you get the cake and all the rest of the stuff like that?"

"Hmm," said Meg. "It was really impromptu for us to decide something this important, wasn't it? That's what Hermione Granger said."

"Wasn't she that one with the medium-length brown hair who was one of Severus's students?" Celeste asked. "He mentioned her once when Charlene came over to his house with me, I remember. Said she was good at Potions. Isn't she Harry's girlfriend?"

"Yeah," said Meg.

"Well," Celeste said, "if you want to get started on your bridal shower, you can come over right now and we can start preparing and stuff."

"Okay!" Meg told Celeste. "We can do something else, too, that I remember. I remember I found Andrea once working on this quiz that was 'How Intimate Are You And Your Girlfriend? Find Out In This Quiz.' She turned it into a quiz a girl could take, though. And Harry already took it, I think, because it was addressed to him and I showed it to him and he said he already took it. He wouldn't say his score, though."

Suddenly, Celeste started laughing very loudly. Meg couldn't figure out why until she talked. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Meg. That was something Charlene, Severus and I sent Harry as a joke, actually. It was originally something Charlene made up, and it was originally for girls to find out how intimate they are with their boyfriends. Did you take it, too, by the way?"

"No," said Meg. "I wonder what Sirikins would have gotten."

"Hmm…I don't know," said Celeste. "Has he left no part of you un-kissed?" And then they both started to laugh with each other once more.


	40. Organizing the Bridal Shower

Meg came over to Snape's house as soon as she hung up with Celeste. Sirius came with her, too, along with Ron, Ginny, Harry, Andrea, and Hermione.

"Hi, Meg!" cried Celeste, who had, apparently, been waiting at the door for the lot of them. She threw her arms around her friend. "I'm still so glad you made me your maid of honor!"

"It was my idea," said Harry.

"I know," said Celeste. "Meg told me. Anyway, guys, Charlene, Jim, and Lockhart are here, too! I invited everybody! It's so nice when you're having a wedding, isn't it?"

"Yeah," said Sirius, smiling. "Who's Jim, though?"

"We'll do the introductions when we get inside," Celeste told him, still smiling. "Come on, guys, what are you waiting for?"

They came inside. Jim, Charlene, and Snape were waiting on the sofa. Jim had jet-black eyes and hair and was wearing a shirt that read, "My Friend Went To London And All He Got Me Was This Lousy T-shirt." He had his arm around Charlene. Her frizzy, dirty-blonde hair was all around her face, as usual, and she was smiling and chewing gum. You couldn't really see that she was pregnant, yet, like Celeste had said. Snape was smiling a little bit, even, but that was probably only because Celeste was there. Lockhart was sitting on the couch and grinning stupidly. He probably didn't know why he was even there.

"Okay, everybody!" Celeste said. She pointed to everybody in turn as she introduced them. "This guy here is Jim, Charlene's husband-to-be, and—"

"I didn't know you were getting married, Charlene," said Sirius.

"Yeah, I am!" said Charlene, smiling. "We're going to have a baby, so we decided to get married. We're going to have a wedding, too, but later, like in February or March. Even April."

"Congratulations," said Hermione.

"Thanks," said Jim.

"Anyway," Celeste said, "this is Charlene, my roommate, this is Snape, my wonderful boyfriend, and this guy is Lockhart, Harry's former DADA teacher."

"Hey, dawg," said Lockhart. "What's happenin' on the hoozy?"

"What?" said Ginny.

"He's trying to talk hip," said Snape, who looked as though he had an awful stomachache.

"O-_kay_," Celeste said. "This is Hermione Granger, Ginny Weasley, and Andrea Potter. They're all going to be bridesmaids in Meg's wedding, and they're all students of Sevykins at Hogwarts, too. Andrea is Harry's twin sister. This is Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, who are going to be in the wedding, too, and Harry will be Sirius's best man in the wedding. And this is Sirius, who's marrying Meg."

"Wait a minute," said Jim. "What about the flower girl and the ring bearer, then?"

"Oh yeah!" said Meg, laughing. "Hmm…Ron can be the ring bearer, I think…but who should be the flower girl? Hermione, Andrea, or Ginny?"

"Flower girls are totally happenin' on the hoozy, babe," said Lockhart.

"I'd like to be a flower girl," replied Ginny, ignoring him.

"And I want to sing something at the reception, so that would be okay with me," said Andrea. "Is it okay with you, Hermione?"

"Of course it is, Andrea," Hermione told her, smiling. "We can do a duet at the reception."

"You know, Ginny, if you're a flower girl, you can't be a bridesmaid, can you?" Ron asked slowly.

"Dude, anything can happen if you jumpy-wumpy on the humpy-wumpy!" Lockhart screamed.

"Lockhart, it's not funny anymore." Snape was scowling terribly. "It's not even a little bit funny. It's the least funniest thing I've ever seen in my whole entire life, actually."

"So, can Ginny be a bridesmaid or not?" asked Ron impatiently.

"No she _can_'_t_, that's right," said Sirius, laughing. "This is hard, isn't it? Well…let's review the whole thing, then, okay? We're going to have four bridesmaids—Hermione, Celeste, Andrea, and Charlene—our flower girl will be Ginny, our ring bearer will be Ron, my best man's going to be Harry, Meg's maid of honor is going to be Celeste, Molly's going to do the cooking for the wedding, and Hermione and Andrea are going to do a duet at the wedding. Sounds great."

"Now all we need to do is figure out where to buy our clothes and shoes and stuff," said Andrea, smiling, since she was very happy to be in a wedding party where to have our wedding and reception, and who to put on our guest list, of course."

"We should invite Dumbledore," said Celeste thoughtfully.

"Dumbledore is TOTALLY happenin' on the hoozy!" Lockhart screamed.

"Definitely." Hermione smiled. "We should invite him, Celeste. And all of the other Hogwarts teachers, too, of course. Professor Snape, are you—are you going to be in the wedding party?" She looked rather tentative when she asked him this question.

"There's not anything for me to _do_, is there?" asked Snape. "I'll just sit in the front row and clap when you guys kiss, all right?" He grudgingly tried to smile at Meg and Sirius.

"I can't wait to be Mrs. Margaret Black instead of Miss Margaret Smith," Meg informed them dreamily.

"We know," said Ginny.

"Meg will be HAPPENIN' on the HOOZY!" Lockhart thundered, and finally Snape grabbed him by his shirt and tried to throw him out the door. Celeste, Hermione, and Meg all ran after him, screaming, "No, don't do that!" and finally Lockhart was sitting on the couch again. Snape had gone to get them some more drinks (even though only a few people had actually finished their drinks), and nobody was really sure if he would return while Lockhart was still there.

"Anyway…" Celeste smiled as she sat down again. "There was that quiz Harry got in the mail, you know, the one to see how intimate you are or something? Charlene wrote it, actually, but I think we should do it at our bridal shower. You know, just for fun, maybe."

"THAT one?" said Sirius. "Oh…I remember it. Charlene wrote it?"

"Yup—turns out Charlene wrote it, baby," said Meg, encircling Sirius's shoulders with her arm and pulling him closer to her. "She sent it to Harry as a joke, actually."

"Some joke." said Harry.

Snape suddenly came back from the kitchen, holding the drinks. He was looking bored.

"It was my idea to send it to him," Snape told them.

"Somehow, I'm not surprised," said Sirius, but then he remembered how he and Snape had agreed not to hate each other openly when their girlfriends were around.

"_Guys_," said Celeste pleadingly.

"Can't you get along for _one second_?" Meg added.

"No," said Snape and Sirius simultaneously, glaring at each other. Meg and Celeste both sighed, looked at each other, and then laughed.

"Sorry," said Sirius grudgingly, watching Snape, after he managed to stop his laugh.

"Yeah," Snape added. They both didn't really look as though they meant it.

"Well, anyway, even though you guys don't really like each other," said Meg, "Celeste and I like each other. So just try to be civilized while we're around. Don't, like, brawl or anything."

"Wouldn't dream of it," said Sirius.

"Yeah, what he said," Snape told them.

"Dudes, that drink is, like, totally not happenin' on the hoozy," said Lockhart. "I mean, you gotta funk the dunk and that drink is like…uhhh…" Lockhart seemed to struggle with himself for a moment, trying to come up with another "hip" phrase. "Maybe you should, like, have more lemony goodness and that would be totally happenin' on the hoozy."

"Lockhart, you have said the phrase 'happenin' on the hoozy', like, a million times already," Andrea told him, "and it's _still_ not hip. It's not even funny."

"What would you know about hipness?" said Lockhart impudently. "I mean, hipness is, like, totally, like, happenin' on the hoozy."

"Argh!" cried Ginny, covering her ears. "My ears!"

"Totally _not_ hip," said Charlene.

"Know what's _really_ hip?" said Snape ominously.

"No, like, what?" said Lockhart. He started bouncing excitedly on Snape's couch.

"IF YOU GET YOUR FAT BUTT OUT OF HERE _NOW_!" cried Snape loudly. He actually stood up and stomped his foot in fury.

"Hey. Totally rude, man," said Lockhart angrily. "I mean, like, I'm, like, the handsomest guy around. How could my butt, be, like, fat?"

"You're not the handsomest guy around," Meg said. "Sirikins is, of course."

Sirius kissed her. Snape covered his face with his hands. Celeste looked extremely upset. Her pre-bridal shower party was not turning out as well as she had planned.

"Guys!" she said, tears brimming in her big brown eyes. "Please! Look. Just…just can you all come here for the bridal shower tomorrow at four p.m., and we'll play games and stuff, okay? We'll also do a copy of your quiz, Charlene, if you can bring it."

"Sure!" said Charlene.

"I don't have a boyfriend, though," said Ginny.

"Oh well then…" Celeste sighed. "Just stay there and wait for us to finish. Okay?"

"Okay," said Ginny, shrugging.

Jim smiled. He didn't really talk much, but he seemed nice. Celeste and Snape watched all the people file out the door, all except Lockhart.

"Get out, Lockhart," said Snape.

"Dude, you are, like, _so_ not my best friend anymore," he said dramatically. And then he broke into angry tears (Celeste looked horrified), and ran from Snape's house.

They heard a shout a few seconds later on. "AND YOU ARE _NOT_ HIP, EITHER!"

"Oh, that'll end the world, it will," said Snape, rolling his eyes.


End file.
